College Ready or Not?: Come Back to Calm.

August 14, 2014August 14, 20141 Comment

How do you rid your life of stress?

I don’t think I really thought about this until I was in college. However, I was handed stress on a shiny antique silver platter quite swiftly as a first-year student.

To cope, I took “field trips” to Colonial Williamsburg to get away from all the noise. I found that running DOG Street brought me needed happiness and spending time on the elliptical machine and lifting weights made life a bit sweeter.

I can’t neglect sharing that when I was younger,I made my life “calm” by drinking alcohol. Going out and getting beyond the capacity for clear memories seemed to be the easiest way to release it all and to just forget all of my, in hindsight, first-world problems.

No judgment, if that’s where you find yourself at some point this year, but please know that your calm is not at the bottom of a bottle. If you’re going to drink, do it responsibly. Surround yourself with people that care about you. Don’t drive. Recognize your limits. Work hard to ensure that alcohol does not become your only means of stress relief.

College brings a continuum of angst composed of grades, relationships, rejection, unmet expectations, homesickness, the realization that your professional aspirations ain’t always what they seem, speedy change, roommate woes, time management, financial crises, and peer pressure, etc. I’m not trying to frighten you at all. This is a moment of real talk. Like most things in life, college ain’t all sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns.

I strongly encourage you as you venture into your first-year of college to begin figuring out those activities/items/people that bring you back to calm and work to keep those things a part of your burgeoning college schedule.

– If you enjoy the gym, look up the facility hours and block off time to workout. If you’re a runner, inquire about the best routes on campus or the neighborhood in which your school is located. If you want to run in a group, inquire at the rec center about groups already in existence or chat with your hall mates about starting a group.

– Perhaps you played a sport in high school but aren’t able to or decided not to be a collegiate athlete. Check out intramurals or club sports. This is a great way to keep playing a sport you love but it’ll often be less of a commitment.

– If shopping is your outlet, then please be responsible about it. I’d advise you to look for things that calm you that are also inexpensive and even better if it’s FREE. You don’t want to replace one stressor with another like money woes. It’s totally not worth it.

– Maybe you’re into “field trips” like me. What are places on/off campus that you can escape? Perhaps there’s an independent movie theatre nearby where you can engage in “escape by cinema”? A local park? A cool coffee shop? A place where you can let your guard down and just enjoy the space. Get off campus. Breathe new oxygen. See what’s popping outside the bubble.

– Sitting in front of the TV or computer can certainly bring you calm. Stop forcing social. Put on your favorite loungewear, grab some snacks, and chill out with familiar characters.

– Read your favorite book. I know, I know. No one has time to read for pleasure in college BUT when life gets hectic, make the time. Get back to words that make you feel whole.

– Hang with your besties. Be with those that remind you that there’s a bigger story in this world in which you play a critical role. Having a strong support system can be key to relieving stress.

– Perhaps you’re into playing and/or listening to music. Check out your school’s music department for possible practice spaces. I’ve never been on a college campus that doesn’t have at least 2 public pianos for students to play at their leisure.

– I now know that writing is a great way for me to come back to center. This space helps me release a ton of stuff. Start a blog, public or private, and get yourself a great notebook to journal your thoughts.

– Engage in a life audit. Why are you doing everything that you’re doing? Is it valuable? Do you actually enjoy it? Has it become a burden? Do you really want to spend time in college with this particular group of people? Is this experience adding energy or depleting energy from your life? Sometimes, we just need to get back to the essentials and say a strong “No” to many of the items we have on our to-do list. Remember, the word “no” is a complete sentence. People would rather you give a strong no than a weak yes.

– Go to those that know you best. For me, that’s God and then my family. Speak to Him, read His word, spend time in His house. Call your family and laugh at all that they are and absorb their love through the phone.

So, how do you come back to calm? What are those things that give you your wings?

A wonderful part of my job is that I think for some of my students, I’ve become a person that helps them find their calm. We engage in some ultra real talk–like some, get clear, get rid of all that unnecessary crazy talk— and lots of snort filled laughter. Look for staff members on campus who want to help. Talk to your RA and/or Orientation Leader, student organization advisor, or a faculty member with whom you’ve made a good connection.

Sometimes your stress can become bigger than a trip to the gym or the local movie theatre can cure. I strongly encourage to seek out your college Counseling Center should you feel that your normal tactics aren’t doing the trick. Never feel alone. If you’re nervous about making an appointment or walking over to the Counseling Center ask a staff member to help you and most of the time they will make a referral and even walk you to the building. I pinkie promise you that students use the Counseling Center on your college campus. Never feel ashamed. You’re taking care of yourself and that is to be applauded and not maligned. Make yourself a priority.

Regardless of how you choose to obtain calm, don’t hold stress in and don’t act like it doesn’t exist. You’re human and you get stressed out. It doesn’t make you weak; it makes you real.

Lata Y’all! Enjoy the season my first-year friends.

College…Ready or Not? Pt. 1

August 11, 20143 Comments

A whole new lot of first-year students will move into our residence halls on Saturday. I can’t help but flash back to my move-in day with my multiple carloads of crap, family members in tow, and an overwhelming amount of excitement. I had the good fortune of spending 6 weeks at my college prior to the beginning of the fall semester and already had 36 acquaintances/friends/soon to be boyfriend under my belt. I was never nervous about people. I was more nervous about my academics and just figuring out all of that bureaucratic “stuff” that comes with college.

My mom doesn’t do prolonged goodbyes so she told me “we’re going to head back” took my hand and filled it with a folded wad of cash, hugged me, and before I knew it she and the rest of the clan were driving back to Portsmouth which is a whopping 45 minutes away from my college.

When I think back to that first semester and the roller coaster that college can be, I began to wonder what I would have told myself to help me get through it all? What do I wish I would have known as a first-year student?

I had boy woes, a bit of an eating issue that resulted in an iron deficiency, crippling self-doubt when it came to my academics, raging racial/ethnic identity development problems, and a bit too much fun on the weekends. So, what messages might have been helpful to little ol’ me?

1. Take Spanish. A foreign language will be more than helpful to you throughout your life. Don’t place out of it just because you can.

2. Figure out a plan to study abroad. This is my one true regret from college. I didn’t take advantage of the opportunity and I’ve still never been out of the country.

3. The rejection you experience this first semester will serve a greater purpose. It’s all going to be okay.

4. Your first love should be yourself and not some boy. If things happened in that order, you both would have been better off in the long run. Sitting around depressed and pining for him is quite a waste of your time. Snap out of it!

5. Sometimes you and your friends grow apart. It is what it is. Just cherish the good times you had with each other.

6. You’re beautiful. You’re enough.

7. STOP with the t-shirts with the ridiculous phrases.

8. Do things that sound cool to you and don’t let the people around you sway you from going on an adventure.

9. Go to church!

10. Invite people to eat meals with you.

11. Yes, this school is really hard BUT the work ethic you’re developing and the skills you’re acquiring not to mention the importance of producing quality work on a daily basis is going to serve you for the rest of your life. You’ll look back and be glad that you chose a pressure cooker for college.

Hmm…all of this stuff still sounds relevant today and I would certainly give this advice to any first-year student I have the privilege of meeting on Saturday.

College, for me, was AMAZING! I loved it to an extreme degree and even when I hated it, you could have never gotten me to leave. It was my home. I knew it like the back of my hand and when I needed to I figured out just how to escape the “noise”. I only remember REALLY wanting to escape once and I called my brother and told him to come get me. He, of course, called my mother and it was settled that I would not be leaving campus to go anywhere including home. All of this drama was about a boy. Ick!

What I want for our first-year students is a chance for them to choose their own adventure. I want their journey to be full of learning, growth, fun, taking chances, failure, and moments of brilliant resilience. I want them to make friends by being their authentic self. I want them to own what makes them a unicorn. I want them to grapple with their identities and hard topics. I want them to stay up until 2am chatting with their hall mates about their hopes and dreams. I want them to have an internal sense of freedom that guides them to join or not join a student organization. I want them to love it but not to their detriment. I want them to love themselves so much that they understand when to say yes, no, I don’t know, and I need help. I want them to find a spot on campus or in the city that when they need it, they can breathe it all out and let it all go. I want them to look in the mirror and be proud of who they are becoming and if for some reason they’re not then I want them to find the strength to start again and to have the wisdom to know that it’s okay. They are coming home to their alma mater but also to themselves.

This may be asking a lot BUT I know they have it all inside of them and like anything else they must find the COURAGE to live it. I enjoy helping them discover that courage.

So, what would you tell your first-year self?

My next few posts will be dedicated to words of wisdom for first-year college students.

Thanks for reading.

Lata Y’all.

Nesting Pt. 1

August 9, 2014August 9, 2014Leave a comment

I’m not a “home” person. I often tell people that I’m far from domestic. Cooking, cleaning, decorating, building, painting, caulking, and polishing, etc. just ain’t my thing. I’m out and about or “ITS” aka “In The Streets” according to one of my friends. I’m a single woman on the go and I don’t have time to fold anything along the way.

My mom didn’t raise me to play house. She’s a single parent and had a lot going on so she cooked sometimes but I don’t possess any family recipes. We always had a nicely decorated and clean home but that wasn’t the center of my upbringing. She raised me to do just enough but to make sure that I wasn’t spending all my time in the kitchen or cleaning. There are far more important ways to spend your time was what she said. Live your life!

Domesticity only really crosses my mind when I visit other people’s homes and am blown away by what they’ve been able to do with their space, when company comes to town, and when I think about the possibility of being a wife and mother.

Lately, going out has brought me little to no excitement. I don’t want to be out past 10pm, I don’t have any desire to drink, and I don’t feel like playing the small talk game. Getting all gussied up to be bored just sounds like awful to me. Because of this, I’ve been spending way more time at home and in doing so I have come to realize that I can do much better with my space.

Rome was not built in a day, in fact, no city was built in a day, so I’m certainly not overhauling the place in 24 hours like some TLC show.

Instead, I’m taking one project at a time. I’m in a renting season and will probably be in one for quite a while because the thought of owning a home actually make me sick to my stomach. I know it’s supposed to be the American Dream but it has become Krystal’s Nightmare.

My first project:

-make my Instagram come to life

I take a lot of photos. It didn’t take me long to understand that all of these moments are floating around on Instagram and that if for some reason the site goes kaput then I’d be quite sad. I used Social Print Studio to print copies of my favorite images. Inexpensive, fast, and adorable. Memories make for beautiful decoration.

I simply took some tape ( painter’s tape) and adhered them to the wall. A colorful picture grid is the result and serves as a lovely view when I wake up in the morning. I can add or subtract from the grid or shuffle the order without much work.

More Instagram moments have happened since I made my first two orders so I’m hoping to order at least 2 more sets in the near future to add to the scene.

I’ve been in this city for 3 years and I’m 2 months into my 4th year. It makes me happy to know that I’ve been able to be a part of so many fantastic moments with some of the best people I’ve ever known.

Tip: Decorate with what you love.

Mission Accomplished.

Next Up: Tackling my entryway wall

I’m also going to stop forcing myself to go out when I clearly don’t want to. There’s nothing wrong with spending time at home and taking care of it and at the same time taking care of me. Oh, and you can follow me on Insta @clarkkn.

Lata Y’all.

Fall, is that you?

August 6, 2014Leave a comment

I live my life in semesters. I have since I was 18 and will do so for the foreseeable future. Just know, that if you ask me to commit to anything it will be based on what “the kids” are doing in school. Not my biological children but other people’s children who are sent away to college and put in the hands of inside of the classroom and outside of the classroom educators that are charged with creating the ultimate collegiate experience. The object is learn. Learn what’s in the books, learn what makes you tick, and learn how to use all of that to create positive change in the world. No biggie!

Guess who’s coming to dinner? Fall, is that you? The lovelies are back and August 16th is MOVE-IN DAY. Can’t wait to see all the first-year students in their brand new cowboy boots, overstuffed cars and over the top U-Hauls with their eager, proud, and concerned parents in tow. It’s always a fun day to watch them move into their new home. Sigh.

With all of this comes the cold, hard truth. SUMMER is CAPUT! Bye Felicia!

In an earlier entry I listed all of the things I wanted to do this summer in Nashville:

1. ~~Drag Brunch at Suzy Wong’s House of Yum~~
2. The Zoo
3. ~~Cheekwood~~
4. Belle Meade Plantation
5. ~~The Peach Truck~~
6. Oz
7. Grand Ole Opry
8. Movie at Elmington Park
9. Full Moon Pickin’ Party–might become a fall activity?
10. ~~Concert: Woods at Fontanel~~
11. 12th & Broad Events
12. ~~Musician’s Corner~~
13. Movies at the Schermerhorn–West Side Story is coming this fall!
14. ~~Belcourt to see Belle~~
15. ~~Visit to the Farmer’s Market~~
16. Intense sits on rooftops and patios
17. ~~Johnny Cash Museum~~
18. ~~POOL! –Already had 2 days in a row 🙂.~~

19. Apparently, we have an arena football team?

10/19 ain’t bad and I still have a few days to go plus I can make some of this stuff happen in the fall. Let’s just say that my Summer Play to-do list got a lot more action than my Summer Work to-do list. I’ll be paying for those decisions for the next couple of weeks. However, I ain’t mad at myself for choosing to do me this summer. It was a necessity.

So, how’d you do on your Summer Play to-do list? I’m a huge advocate for being a tourist in the place that you live. Why not? I’m fortunate to live in a place that I can’t possibly stay up to date on all of the new things to do but I certainly give it a full faith effort.

If you didn’t get to experience all that you wanted, how can you intentionally plan some time to continue attacking your list during the early fall months? Perhaps your friends’ schedules will be back to normal and you can arrange a group outing? I would also say that the cooler weather for many of these activities is actually going to make them more appealing like The Zoo and Cheekwood Botanical Gardens.

This was a bang up summer and I haven’t even told you all of the cool things I got to do including Bonnaroo, Dallas/Fort Worth adventure, my time with Alpha Xi Delta, a trip home, National Leadership Symposium in Tampa, CONCERTS. and a killer tourist trip from my aunt.

Summer 2014 was certainly a better fit for me than Summer 2013. I felt like I got back to me. Being away helped me clear my head and rest some toxicity in my heart. I feel that alone would deem this season a success.

Don’t we all feel better in the summer? People are cheerful, tan (I’m always tan), just want to have a good time, and go on adventures. During summer, we’re more likely to say, “Why not?”, “Yes.”, “Let’s make it happen.”, “Sure, I can stay longer.”, “That can wait.” You meet a lot of people that you might never see again and you visit those people you haven’t seen in a long time. You close that laptop and put away that phone. You celebrate others and you treat yo’ self. You cross those things off your Bucket List that you’ve only allowed yourself time to complete during the summer.

So, now what? Now, I launch myself into Fall 2014. I take what I learned this summer and I hold it close to me. I cling to that sense of adventure and I intentionally work it into my fall. I don’t allow myself to get buried by the work and I always make sure that when I need to, I can extend my arm with the flag of surrender waving courageously (without shame) in the wind. When I need a break, I’ll take a break. Deal with it!

I’m clearing my plate and making some room for other delicious entrees. I’ve realized that breathing feels great and I’m going to do that more. That whole “invincible summer” thing needs to become a reality.

How are you going to keep summer alive? Don’t let all of this goodness die simply because it’s August. Do us all a favor and keep a piece of it tightly wound up in your heart. Refuse to let it go and break out your summer self when you need to.

Later Y’all.

What are you doing in the next 1,001 days?

July 30, 2014July 30, 20141 Comment

I took some time today to update my 101 in 1,001. I still don’t have 101 things on my list. I need to think more outside the box or just take notice of those times throughout the day when I go, “Wow, I wish I could do that.”

Arianna Huffington, of the Huffington Post and Thrive, inspired me when she stated that one can easily complete a task by simply taking it off your to-do list. Magic! There are times when I put things on a list and then after a while I wonder, “What was I thinking? That doesn’t matter.” Instead of still working to get it done or just keeping it on the list and feeling like a failure, Arianna just says “Get rid of it.” Done and Done. On to the next!

This list all started with Design Darling. I read over her new list to borrow a few ideas. Check out her blog and her cute boutique. She’s lovely.

https://peculiarpearl.wordpress.com/101-in-1001/ –Check it out! Any suggestions?

Later Y’all.

Find Your Edge.

July 29, 2014December 28, 2014Leave a comment

Lately, I’ve been obsessed with Barre3. You’ve probably heard of many different Barre studios and if you live in Nashville I can think of at least two other places where you’d be able to engage in a similar type of fitness program. None of my comments represent Barre3 or Junior League of Nashville (JLN).

I was reintroduced to Barre through JLN at a Transfer Member Social Event. My first experience with Barre was awful around two years ago so I was quite reluctant at first. To sum it all up in two words, I felt very “fat shamed” and left feeling defeated and disappointed. However, I decided to give it another go and here’s what I gathered through the words of my instructors:

“Live your truth.” –UM, yes. I say this daily to everyone around me. You have a story. Live it. We lie to ourself everyday. For NO GOOD REASON we lie and we have to STOP.

“Find your edge.”–ABSOLUTELY. everyday. what’s the point if you’re not?

“Your body is its own best instructor.” –What? you mean you’re not going to force me into doing what the woman next to me is doing–cause I just can’t. I’ve got to listen to what my body is telling me. I know me. Trust your gut. Intuition.

“We love modifications.”–Yep. follow your yellow brick road in life. it ain’t going to look like everyone else’s.

“Own this 60 minutes.” –How many minutes of our life do we actually allow ourselves to own?

“Close your eyes and don’t care about your neighbor.” –Great, b/c she’s stressing me out. comparison is the most self-destructive practice we engage in on a regular basis. stop it.

“Go at your own pace.” –Will do. Can’t compare my Chapter 1 to anyone else’s Chapter 20.

“Breathe it all out.” —One thing that most of us can control is how we breathe and you’d be so surprised at the amount of stress you can relieve with deep breaths.

“Bring your hands into prayer.”–I need all the prayers and praying time I can get.

“Thank your beautiful body.”–Gracias! She is beautiful and I don’t give her enough credit. I couldn’t do this life without her. EVERYONE has a beautiful body.

“Take a break and come back stronger.” –Isn’t that just perfect? You can’t always go Level 10 hard all the time. If you need to take a break that’s fine. Pull it together and come back ready to take on the world. Maybe you took a break from school or you took time out to raise your kids. Breaks are a thing. Don’t be frustrated by them.

“Shakes are not a sign of weakness, they are sign of change.” —Lightbulb! Sometimes the things that make us shake are often the most life changing events of our life. Those things that make us nervous, scared, anxious–that’s when we’re pushing ourselves into discomfort, into the storm, and we come out changed. Those Barre3 shakes are not a game.

These women are speaking all of my love languages.

Now, I am in no way built for ballet. Yoga always bored me and Pilates I’ve only did once or twice and was just whelmed by it.

At the end of that first workout I felt a few things: tired, strong, sweaty, glowing, out of shape, motivated, but most of all I felt supported and thankful. There was no fat shame. There was a “do you” and in fact we’re going to help you “do your best you” with a mat, barre, ball, light weights, and a strap in tow. Not to mention, killer playlists in the background. Some of my fave tunes include Revolver by Madonna, Tambourine by Eve, Addiction by Medina, Ego by Beyonce, and there’s a Will.I.Am song that gets me everytime…I sneaked a look at the playlist to enhance my Spotify :).

Well, I was hooked and immediately signed up for a month of classes just to see if this was beginners’ luck or if I was going to build some roots in this place while standing in primary posture. Needless, to say I’m back for my second month and I look forward to it in the way I used to look forward to an after work Happy Hour. It is MY 60 minute core blast. I can’t think about anything else in the world because I am “finding my edge” while barely moving that Barre3 inch and praying through those isometric holds. My shoulders relax, I breathe the deepest I ever have and I love me and what my body allows me to do in that space.

The instructors are lovely. It’s like CHEERS in there–they all make it a point to know your name. Listen, I still have A LOT to learn and they are very patient with me and affirming that I’m moving in the right direction. Get this, the women in my classes are super nice! They come in all shapes, sizes, colors, professions, and parts of town. It’s been nice to see “the regulars” and connect with people I might not have met in Nashville.

So, there you go. I’m certainly not trying to convert you BUT if you come across a Barre3 in your area, I would encourage you to give it a shot. Men are certainly welcomed.

My body and I have had a rough 31 years. I needed this so bad at this point in my life. I feel it in the growing strength in my legs, my butt is now looking down on the world from her newly elevated status, my posture is better, and my arms look lovely in my summer dresses. All of that is nice but it’s really just refreshing to find a new fitness outlet that not only helps me look better on the outside but strengthens me mentally and spiritually. It’s just good stuff, people. I promise.

I have class today at 6:30.

Later Y’all.

“What was I like as a child?”

July 19, 2014July 20, 2014Leave a comment

Have you ever asked your family what you were like as a child?

The first time I asked my mother this question she said 1 word…

LOUD!

Thanks Mom, you’re a gem.

When I approached her again along with my other relatives they said things like…
talkative
you taught school every day to your stuffed animals –even on Saturday and Sunday
you loved school—even when there was a flood, we just had to get you to school or you’d cry like a crazy person
you loved all people no matter who they were or their station in life
smart. we don’t know where you got that from but you’ve always been really smart
you read ALL the time. We’d find books hidden in all of your special nooks so that you could retrieve them upon your return
if we ever needed anyone to do a speaking part in church, you were our first choice because the seniors could always hear you…you were this happy, smiling, articulate, loud little person

At the ripe old age of 28, I had this flash of panic that I wasn’t headed in the right direction. What was I doing with my life? Am I using my full capacity?
Has this ever happened to you?
If so, if you’re lost, I encourage you to look BACK and I promise you that it can give you the information you need to move forward.

When I collected all of the responses from those that knew me prior to the age of 10 I had the realization that my strengths, those gifts that God gave to me over 30 years ago are the same today as they were back then.

My passions, those things that call me out of bed in the morning are those things that I loved doing as a child.
My happy place as a child is still my happy place at 31.
Teaching, speaking, having an audience, educating those around me and helping them to be their best self.

God knows my story because he wrote it from beginning to end and he was superb at foreshadowing.

When I took the time to look BACK I can see all of the clues that led me to where I am today. It is no coincidence that I do what I do.

My challenge to you is that the next time you’re lost on your professional path. Reach out to those who knew you before you were 10 and ask that simple but critical question,

“What was I like as a child?”

The above is a small talk I shared at “Faithful to Speak” at Fellowship Bible Church in Brentwood, TN. We had around 15 minutes to write it, one rehearsal and a brief moment of peer feedback in small groups. I was then one of three to perform on stage while being videotaped. I enjoyed the process and am pretty okay with the outcome. My biggest critical feedback was that I need to highlight a story that demonstrates my current professional role and how that fits in with what I discovered about myself through the looking back process. I can do that.

What’s My Motivation?

July 18, 2014July 18, 2014Leave a comment

Mastery as defined by Daniel H. Pink in DRIVE is the desire to get better and better at something. Therefore, Mastery is a process that one has to be motivated to engage in during their life. Since there will never be a point in our existence during which we’ll be perfect at anything the process of Mastery is never ending like that song they used to sing at the end of Lamb Chop’s Play- Along (I know, now it is in your head. You’re welcome!).

Not everyone feels the way that Daniel and I do about Mastery. I learned that this weekend but I’m not budging. If there was a point at which we could master things then I feel like we’d abandon our capacity for learning more often than we should and that, in my humble opinion, is super dangerous.

Pink says that Mastery is three things:
1. A mindset.
2. A pain.
3. An asymptote.

1. You have to believe that you can actually increase your intellect and talent. You must have a growth mindset. “I can learn.” Some people feel that they were born with all of the capacity they will ever have while others feel that practicing and working hard can increase their strength in a given area or in performing a certain task.
2. It is really hard to master something. It takes all of your resources. Depending on what it is, it might actually take your blood, sweat, and tears. If you think about someone you call “The Best”, think about all they must have gone through to deserve that title. Think about how many times they must have failed along the way and still they work to achieve. This takes a lot of courage. It is brave.
3. Uh, so I forgot what this was because I have suppressed everything I learned in math class due to PTSD. Kidding, but really, I don’t do the math. The a-word is a straight line that a curve approaches but never quite reaches. In essence, mastery plays hard to get with us all. We can get real close but never actually achieve it. I mean, we’re pretty good at chasing things we can’t have, right?

Mastery is a motivator. We want to get better at things. When we see that we’re making progress we want to get even better. This cycle goes on and on and on and on…till the break of dawn?! Okay, perhaps but I mean I wouldn’t recommend pulling all-nighters on a regular basis. However, do you.

“We fail to realize that mastery is not about perfection. It’s about a process, a journey. The master is the one who stays on the path day after day, year after year. The master is the one who is willing to try, and fail, and try again, for as long as he or she lives.” -George Bernard Shaw

It’s hard to stay invested in something if no matter how hard you work you don’t feel like you’re making progress. The harder thing is feeling forced to do something in which you don’t really care to pursue mastery. If you don’t really care about making progress then you probably won’t deliver your A-Game or even your B-Game and I mean, please don’t subject anyone to your C-Game.

There are a few things on my “I’d Really Love To Get Better at This List”:
1. Speaking
2. Blogging
3. Barre3
4. Self-promotion

These are the things that I’m actually investing effort into Mastering…there are a ton of other things I SHOULD be working on but to be honest I don’t genuinely want to. I’m still figuring out how to be an adult. Budgeting, supervision, having tact, romantic relationships/dating–like actually going on one…the little things ;). Gotta find that motivation–perhaps the next time a cat sets up shop on my doormat that’ll do the trick.

What are you attempting to Master these days?
Do you believe that Mastery can actually be achieved?

Oh, and read DRIVE. It is pretty great.

Later Y’all

Put Yourself Out There…NOW!

July 18, 2014July 18, 2014Leave a comment

I am reminded after I do a public speaking engagement that I’m not the only one who enjoys hearing myself speak. Kidding! Like most people, I cringe at hearing my recorded voice. It never sounds like that sound should be coming out of my body.

I have a passion for speaking/presenting/facilitating and anything that aligns with education through verbal communication. I have this pipe dream of having my face on a tour bus while I promote my book, blog, and at every stop I share a message with the masses. Yes, I know the face on a tour bus is a bit much. Let me live.

Fortunately, I’ve been invited/hired to do this type of work with college students and student affairs professionals since my time in graduate school. Clearly, I want to do more and I want what I do to get better.

In my ever pressing effort to BE BRAVE I sent out a series of emails to people within my network in an effort to pursue opportunities. These emails were first steps in the revived “Invest in Krystal” plan.

Thankfully, I’ve received some positive responses. I stick to a pretty consistent email format:

1. I only inquire about opportunities that align with my personal values. I’ve narrowed down my focus and I know the areas in which I want to have the greatest influence.
2. Because I haven’t seen or spoken to some of my contacts in a while, I take a couple of sentences to reintroduce myself and remind them of how we met.
3. If we’re social media friends, I mention a life instance they posted such as congratulating them on marriage, babies, new haircuts, family vacation, or cool concerts, etc.
4. I’m very direct about why I’m emailing and the intended outcome. Phone call? Opportunities to volunteer? Informational Interview? Advice? In-person meeting? Paid opportunities?
5. Describe my passion for the role at hand.
6. List a few recent experiences in specified area.
7. Resume
8. Thank You!

Once they respond, I follow up immediately to get a date on the calendar or to confirm my interest.

I love public speaking but I’m certainly not perfect and don’t have this art nailed down just yet. So, while I’m sending out feelers into the world, I’m also strength training my big ‘ol mouth :).

Saturday, I’m attending a public speaking workshop led by Heidi Petak called Faithful to Speak and I’m strongly considering investing in a much costly opportunity that will occur in December. I’ve got to take advantage of opportunities to engage in development. If I’m not willing to invest in myself, who will?

I figure if I want to pursue this then there is no time like the present and as with most things, what have I got to lose? This is work but it is work I love and I’ve never walked off a platform and felt wrong or like I did something against my nature. Instead, I feel empowered, motivated, confident, and like I’ve used my gifts for a purpose. I’m also mentally exhausted but it has never felt better. It is also the moment when I feel the most vulnerable and the most authentic. No worries, I’m also a huge ball of nerves and like a hug or a big laugh to calm me down before I make my way into the spotlight. What is millions of people’s greatest fear is my biggest thrill. Rollercoaster, take a hike! I’m giving a speech!

If anything, I would encourage you to reach out and communicate with those people/organizations that you believe in that can help you achieve your dreams. What’s the worse that can happen? You won’t get a response?! Well, then you’re in the same place you are now–you’ve lost nothing. It’s hard to put yourself out there but if you never do then that dream will just be that, a far off vision –a castle in the sky without any foundation. Build the foundation! It gets harder to pursue those magical unicorns as you get more comfortable and as your life sprouts more responsibility.

I’m excited for the opportunities ahead during the remaining days of summer and Fall 2014. I’m going to keep putting myself out there and pursuing mastery as if plays hard to get with me for the rest of my life (such a tease!).

So, what do you need to put on your “Invest in [Insert Name Here]” to-do list?

– Make a list of contacts.
– Research outlets in your area.
– Set up a meeting.
– Make a phone call.
– Send an email.
– Take a class.
– Register for a workshop.
– Gather a group of your friends for feedback.
– Book studio time.
– Post a comment to a blog.
– Start that blog.
– Go to rehearsal.
– Read a book.
– Spend time at a co-working space or office to knock out some tasks.

Pull out your planner or that phone calendar gadget app thingy (I’m still a paper/pen girl) and create a plan of action.

You might be surprised what you get back from the universe. If nothing else, you are demonstrating incredible love for and belief in yourself. That’s a strong message and I applaud you for that investment.

I’ll keep you posted on my progress.

Later Y’all!

Tampa?!

July 17, 20143 Comments

Tampa did way more for me than I expected. Great work was done in that city over the course of three days. Sometimes you just have to get away from all the static. I’ll tell you more about it tomorrow but for now just check out these pics. This castle in the sky and my life’s hope in this dish. I can’t even tell you how happy I was to bump into this city.

Later Y’all.