At some point during 99.9% of my days I am asked the question, “How do you do so many things?” or someone makes the statement “You are everywhere.”

Here are some responses:
1. I make time for the things I want to do. Priorities, people!
2. What, do you expect me to just sit at home and watch Netflix? I mean, I do that occasionally, but I don’t think that’s the best way to live your life.
3. What do you do with your free time?
4. We live in Nashville! How are you NOT outside as much as possible?
5. I read, that’s how I know what’s going on in the city.

However, I realize that more and more of my galavanting around town has to do with my perpetual status as a single woman. When I say single, I mean single. I mean, I don’t have a houseplant and I certainly haven’t spent any of my disposable income on a cat or dog. I’m not into confinement so I will never own anything that needs me to take it on a poop walk. The day I have to choose between a Happy Hour and poop walk isn’t a day I look forward to. I go and come when I damn well please and for 99.9% of my days, I really LOVE this aspect of my life.

Now, I’m a 31 year old woman born in Virginia and currently residing in Tennessee after a 4 year stint in North Carolina. I have no hopes of ever living above the Mason-Dixon line and I do enjoy the South. With that along with my humanity comes certain comments, observations, and feelings connected to my single nature. There are times that I have wondered, “What is wrong with me?”, “Why aren’t I consciously coupled?”, “Am I ever going to have children?”, “Will it be too late by the time I find someone who’s brave enough to marry and impregnate me?”, “Why don’t men like me?”,”Do I need to lose weight?” and my oft cited response when asked about my Party of 1 status, “Boys just don’t like me.” All of this starts the loathed cycle of,

– “You’re amazing.”
– “but, you’re so beautiful.”
– “You just haven’t found him yet but he’s out there.”
– “God has a plan for you.”
– “You’ve got to put yourself out there.”
-“I’m praying for you.”
-“You know my aunt didn’t get married until she was 34 and she’s so happy that she waited.”
-“Maybe the one isn’t in Nashville.”
– “Have you tried online dating.”
-“I wish I had someone to hook you up with on a date.”

SIGH! STOP IT! JUST ACCEPT THAT I’M SINGLE AND LET’S KEEP IT MOVING. I DIDN’T SHOW UP CRYING AND I DON’T NEED ANY PITY. I KNOW I’M AMAZING AND BEAUTIFUL. HE MAY NOT BE OUT THERE. DID YOU THINK ABOUT THAT? I’M NOT SURE WHAT YOU MEAN BY PUT MYSELF OUT THERE, SHOULD I STAND ON A BUSY STREET CORNER? PLEASE PRAY FOR ME FOR A MILLION OTHER REASONS. I CAN GIVE YOU A LIST OF MY PRAYER REQUESTS. I’M NOT YOUR CRAZY AUNT. I KNOW THAT GOD HAS A PLAN FOR ME. I HATE ONLINE DATING. I LIVE IN NASHVILLE AND AM NOT GOING ON SOME CARMEN SAN DIEGO GOOSE CHASE TO SEARCH FOR A MAN. YOU PROBABLY DO HAVE SOMEONE TO HOOK ME UP WITH BUT LET’S BE HONEST I’M BLACK, YOU’RE FRIENDS ARE WHITE, AND THIS IS THE SOUTH.

Now, that we’re done with that bit of a rant.

For whatever reason, God has made this a single season of my life. I figure that I just need to own it and take advantage of the benefits. One of those benefits is being where the f*ck I want to be whenever I want to be there and spending my money on whatever the f*ck I want to. BTW, I love Jesus and the F-word. He knows my heart.

So, if you see me around town or the country loving my life and posting beautiful pictures (I’m really photogenic) on one my various social media outlets just know that my life without a leash affords me the ability to roam where I please. I don’t have to ask a soul to confirm my plans, I don’t have to lay out anyone’s clothes, I don’t have to hear anyone moan about how they don’t really like this band or don’t want to see the ballet, I don’t have to make a meal for anyone, I know whose car we’re taking, I don’t have to ask anyone if it’s okay to spend money from the joint account, I can pursue my dreams without taking someone else’s into account, and I don’t have to worry about in-laws coming to town. This is why I can “be everywhere” and do cool sh*it. It is ALWAYS my turn!

Women who mope because they aren’t in a relationship piss me off and women who constantly need to be in a relationship scare me. Women whose entire identity is wrapped up in their partner’s make me want to scream. To be honest, spending so much time alone has made me really fall in love with about 95% of Krystal. I am my best form of entertainment and I’m sociable enough that I make friends wherever I go. I laugh just as loud when I’m alone as I do when I’m surrounded by people.

Now, I’m not saying that if “the one” finds me or I find him depending on how The Big Guy wrote that in my official PLAN, that I won’t slow down or actually be content with a hot and heavy couch date. I have some friends with incredible marriages and there are days when I’d really like to have a permanent roommate or a partner in crime but until then, I’ve decided to ride this sucker till the wheels fall off! I’m free and frolicking in Nashville. Call me for a good time ;).

Later Y’all!