Yesterday was one of those days that made me feel so full. God was finally like, “okay, little child, it is time for you to get off my back, I’ve got something just for you”. It was a day of things that I love and gave me the ability to shine as only Krystal Clark can. It was a day of things that made me feel like I have a place in my city and my profession. I adored this day.
My moment of “best self” is when you give me a room of people that want to learn. A place in which people want to grow and “do better” for themselves or the people around them. Eager professionals who have open eyes, alert ears, and full hearts. I can even sway the most tough minded old goat with a few jokes and a nerdy observation. I’m a flash of color in what could be seen as another dull black/white Tuesday. I don’t often need a microphone because God gave me this megaphone of a voice for a reason. My obsession with reading has provided me with mounds of knowledge to share with the masses and fuel to create my own theories that guide how I shape and reframe my work. My mama raised me to understand how to connect and chat with a tree if it showed up in my living room. In those moments when I’m moving from side to side in a room because there isn’t any way that I can stay still behind some crippling podium, I finally have an understanding as to why God assembled me the way he did back in April of ’83. All of what makes me “me” finally comes together and I am the best version of Krystal.
The other part of my day was spent engaging with students who are about to transfer into my institution. These students started their college career elsewhere and didn’t find the home they were looking for so they are trying again with great courage and gigantic hope to find the place where they truly belong and will help them realize their best self. I applaud them for not settling. I applaud them for trying again. I fell in love with all of them and the glow that I felt through Skype and through the phone as they articulated their hopes and dreams for the next leg of the collegiate journey. I laughed, shared stories, alleviated fears, did some consulting on possible student organizations to join, clutched at my heart when they went to a vulnerable place, and realized in a small conference room that what I do matters. It has a purpose. I want to wrap ourselves around these students and let them know that they’ve finally found home and I’m not going to let you down. I’ll be your family.
I made Bigfoot sized steps on my way to forgiveness. A person who tore my heart up was there for me when I needed support. I have lots of nerves before I speak and was really psyching myself out upon my arrival to campus but when I looked over from my parked car there was a funny face that had to be laughed at in a belly deep sort of fashion. My nerves melted and I was amped to get on with the show. I realized that one reason that I was in so much pain is because I lost a person that could affect me in that way. Those people are rare and when you find one you have to be okay with fighting to keep them in your world. I don’t enjoy losing friends and that’s what we were meant to be and I’m a million times closer to full acceptance of that fact then I’ve ever been before and this, my friends, is a blessing straight from the Big Man. Hallelujah!
I love those golden moments when it all comes together. When you finally catch sight of the bigger picture. Confusions become clear and the “ah-ha” materializes before your eyes. The journey, the struggle, and that trust process are worth that moment. Fact.
The Lord and I werked that day. I am doing nothing but looking forward to the rest of this week. I can’t say that I’ve felt that way in a long time.