My Life on “E”

To be full of joy, happiness, and excitement.

&

Drained of one’s physical or mental resources, very tired.

Someone asked me “how are you doing?” and after a brief pause, in order to buck the tradition of answering dishonestly with the oft recited, “I’m good.” “I’m fine. “I’m doing okay.” “Oh, you know the usual.” What eventually made it’s way out of my mouth was,

“I’m exhilarated and exhausted.”

These extremes are how I tend to walk through my life.

I am exhilarated and often in disbelief of the opportunities I get to be a part of and the people I get to be in rooms with on a regular basis.

By the time I get home at night, if I’m lucky by 10pm, I am exhausted because of the amount of physical and mental  energy it takes to move through the day.

Unfortunately, my exhaustion often seeps into areas in which I need more exhilaration and the exhilaration often keeps me from resting to combat the exhaustion. Sigh!

Now don’t misunderstand me , my life does have additional emotional levels and for every moment of exhilaration there is also probably another moment of stress. The other negative repercussion of the highs is that they often distract me from addressing the lows. When I have space to address the lows, I’m often too tired to do so or just point to the highs as a means of explaining away my need to focus on the lows. Get it?

I know that living from and through the good won’t make the bad melt away but it doesn’t serve anyone well to live in the valley for too long. To be honest, my lows ain’t that low. Perspective is important. 

I’m writing this post as I sit in my bed with my latest binge watch Hart of Dixie playing in the background. I spent my Saturday doing nothing but cleaning my house and keeping tabs on Zoe Hart, George Tucker, Lavon Hayes, Wade Kinsella, Lemon Breeland, and my absolute favorite AnnaBeth Nass. Bluebell, Alabama makes me happy and I’m going to miss it when this binge is complete. This Saturday was an effort  to create more time in my life to combat the exhaustion. To catch my breath and rest my soul. I need  to make more time to engage in meaning making around all of the exhilarating moments of my life. I need to develop a better understanding of why I run towards exhaustion and not intentional rest.

In other words, I still don’t have life figured out at 33. Cue surprise, shock, awe, and horror! 

hello-november

November is an exhilarating month with 2 trips home to VA for a board meeting and Thanksgiving, lots of JLN, Leadership Nashville, Wanderlust, Friendsgiving, ELECTION DAY, TEDxVanderbiltUniversity, Sparkle & Twang, Literary Gala for the Nashville Public Library Foundation, TNAchieves Mentor Training, work, and just general life activities.

Exhale!

I am exhilarated and exhausted from just reading that sentence.

What’s the plan to find a happy medium?

  • Plan my days.
  • Prep at night for the next day.
  • Do what’s important before what’s urgent.
  • Sleep by 11pm
  • Workout 3-4 times a week.
  • Drink Water –Put the Coca Cola down!
  • When presented with the option, always choose to go home.
  • Leave at least one night during the week in which I don’t have any post 5pm plans.
  • Be present in the exhilarating moments and don’t ignore the moments of exhaustion. The goal is to “be where my feet are” and always listen to my body.
  • Delegate, ask for help, and stay out of other people’s circus.
  • Show grace to myself when I mess up all of these pretty bullets.

When you see me, just know that this is how I’m feeling. Love me as I live my life on E.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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