Ah-Ha!

Yesterday was one of those days that made me feel so full. God was finally like, “okay, little child, it is time for you to get off my back, I’ve got something just for you”. It was a day of things that I love and gave me the ability to shine as only Krystal Clark can. It was a day of things that made me feel like I have a place in my city and my profession. I adored this day.

My moment of “best self” is when you give me a room of people that want to learn. A place in which people want to grow and “do better” for themselves or the people around them. Eager professionals who have open eyes, alert ears, and full hearts. I can even sway the most tough minded old goat with a few jokes and a nerdy observation. I’m a flash of color in what could be seen as another dull black/white Tuesday. I don’t often need a microphone because God gave me this megaphone of a voice for a reason. My obsession with reading has provided me with mounds of knowledge to share with the masses and fuel to create my own theories that guide how I shape and reframe my work. My mama raised me to understand how to connect and chat with a tree if it showed up in my living room. In those moments when I’m moving from side to side in a room because there isn’t any way that I can stay still behind some crippling podium, I finally have an understanding as to why God assembled me the way he did back in April of ’83. All of what makes me “me” finally comes together and I am the best version of Krystal.

The other part of my day was spent engaging with students who are about to transfer into my institution. These students started their college career elsewhere and didn’t find the home they were looking for so they are trying again with great courage and gigantic hope to find the place where they truly belong and will help them realize their best self. I applaud them for not settling. I applaud them for trying again. I fell in love with all of them and the glow that I felt through Skype and through the phone as they articulated their hopes and dreams for the next leg of the collegiate journey. I laughed, shared stories, alleviated fears, did some consulting on possible student organizations to join, clutched at my heart when they went to a vulnerable place, and realized in a small conference room that what I do matters. It has a purpose. I want to wrap ourselves around these students and let them know that they’ve finally found home and I’m not going to let you down. I’ll be your family.

I made Bigfoot sized steps on my way to forgiveness. A person who tore my heart up was there for me when I needed support. I have lots of nerves before I speak and was really psyching myself out upon my arrival to campus but when I looked over from my parked car there was a funny face that had to be laughed at in a belly deep sort of fashion. My nerves melted and I was amped to get on with the show. I realized that one reason that I was in so much pain is because I lost a person that could affect me in that way. Those people are rare and when you find one you have to be okay with fighting to keep them in your world. I don’t enjoy losing friends and that’s what we were meant to be and I’m a million times closer to full acceptance of that fact then I’ve ever been before and this, my friends, is a blessing straight from the Big Man. Hallelujah!

I love those golden moments when it all comes together. When you finally catch sight of the bigger picture. Confusions become clear and the “ah-ha” materializes before your eyes. The journey, the struggle, and that trust process are worth that moment. Fact.

confusions

The Lord and I werked that day. I am doing nothing but looking forward to the rest of this week. I can’t say that I’ve felt that way in a long time.

Later Y’all.

Summer is Here!! Part 2: The Work Edition

I work at a university and fortunately, I get the summer months off from my clients aka my students. I adore them BUT we all need a break from each other and this May-August split is cherished.

My previous post was about my various Nashville/US adventures BUT I still have to work. I have A LOT of work to get done this summer before the youngsters return and invade my world in only the way they can do so.

I have a summer to-do list about as long as the Mississippi River and I have to squeeze it all in around my vacation time and general periods of that feeling I call “I don’t want to do work! Wahhh!” I can’t be the only one that suffers from that condition, correct?

every single day

It is practically June. Yes, June! Deal with it.

Here’s my next steps to success:
1. Refine the list. Currently it is on multiple sheets of paper in three different notebooks and on my computer. I have to make the list practical and manageable. What do I actually need to get done to accomplish my office’s and my goals? What can I reasonably accomplish this summer? What projects can I complete by just taking them off the list? I love that Arianna Huffington has introduced that notion into our world. Check out this video of her discussing “Thrive” with Marie Forleo. Also, just check out Marie Forleo. She’s fantastic and MarieTV is perfect lunchtime professional and personal development.

2. Prioritize my priorities. Just because it is on the list doesn’t mean it has to happen ASAP. There are things that I could push off until July or the beginning of August. A timeline will be super helpful. Deadlines are a MUST! I don’t function well without them. I can then plop all of this information on my calendar. If it’s on my calendar, there is a 97% chance that it will happen. I often print out a template calendar and write it all old school with a pen on a sheet of paper. I’ll then transfer it to my Outlook Calendar.

3. Accountability is so necessary. I will share the list and the calendar with my staff and my supervisor. They can then know what to expect of me this summer and what to hold me accountable for this season. During my 1:1 meetings with my boss, I will use this list as the agenda for our meeting. It is also important that I don’t allow him to keep refilling up my plate with things that are not essential for my or my office’s success. Exploring all options and saying “no” is powerful because if I”m not careful, my list will grow longer and longer.

4. Be okay that everything may not happen this summer and keep plugging away into the fall. If it’s important then it’ll happen. The goal is not to beat myself up but to do the most best essential work I can this summer.

To make everything happen I’m going to have to design and create time and space to focus on the projects at hand.

1. I have to step away from my desk and often my office. I have a table in my office that allows me to think in a more creative and open manner. I don’t know what it is about the table but I am able to sit and stare at my blank whiteboard and then fill it with ideas and outlines for curriculum, workshops, or speeches that I need to write. I also work really well at Starbucks. I think it’s because I feel like College Krystal and that girl was a master at getting sh*t done. No one did it better. I may also hit up the campus library. Arriving to work before everyone else and working on Sundays is also a move of mine when I have a lot to get done. Don’t worry, I’ll make up the weekend time during the week :).

2. Put time on my calendar to just be away. Close my door, leave the office, and just be creative and productive. I can’t let anyone usurp that time. It is mine! Back off! I already block off 3-4pm as Krystal, Inc. so I may just extend that time since I don’t have any student visitors during the summer.

3. I have to be okay with using time to think and not rushing through that process in order to just “do work”. I have a longing for using my creative abilities more at work and because my office was created from scratch, I have a lot of freedom to do just that.

4. Because I’ve packed my summer schedule to the brim, I’m going to have to be way more discriminating about whatever else I add to the list. Pretty sure unless it’s a weekend trip, I can’t leave town anymore than I already am at this time. Some of my weeknights might need to be spent on work. That’s the trade-off and trade-offs can’t be avoided.

What are your tips for getting things done during the summer?

Alright, so now I’m going to get off this blog and get some stuff done. Ready, set, go!

get shit done steps

Lata Y’all

Good Deal.

Greetings…

Long time no see…

Well, let’s just say that life as it often does, got the best of me and my blog fell to the bottom of my priority list. No apologies, just a statement of truth.

I am taking a bit of time to refocus my blog and center it around my current values system.

1. Education
2. Professional Development
3. Community Engagement
4. Faith
5. Personal Development

Fashion and cute little things will no longer be a part of the equation. Music will only be covered in connection with community engagement–I still live in Nashville. I want to concentrate on lessons learned and action steps. What? So what? Now what?

As I’m working on the launch, please follow me over on Tumblr at http://peculiarpearl.tumblr.com/. Follow my daily adventures and my new #100happydays journey.

So…are we cool again? I’ll get back to writing and you’ll get back to reading? Deal! Good Talk!

good deal

Photo Courtesy of http://www.leelacyd.com/.

I Go Out Walking After Midnight Searching for You

Actually, I don’t go out walking after midnight because I mean, I’m sleeping after midnight and that isn’t really safe. It was just the first song that popped into my mind about walking. I’m also in Nashville so Patsy Cline isn’t really a stretch of the imagination.

I’ve been walking and I’ve quite enjoyed it. Follow me on Instagram (@clarkkn) to see the pics I’ve taken on my adventures #kcwalksvu.

right where you are

Things I’ve Come to Know

1. The campus is freaking gorgeous! I’m obsessed with all the trees. I think that trees are magical. We have a lot of trees, like BOSS trees.
2. Having a student make eye contact, smile and say hello is rare. We’re in the South BUT perhaps I’m not encountering our Southern students on my walks or they are just so bogged down in life that they can’t even be bothered to look up and acknowledge their surroundings. Hmm…
3. On that note, there is nothing like walking around a college campus as an administrator and seeing a student light up when they see you walking around campus. “KRYSTAL, [insert hug] so good to see you, what are you doing over here? How are you? We miss you.”
4. College is stressful for college students. I forgot the haze one enters into right before a test. I stopped into a classroom building prior to a test for a potty break and you could feel the tension as the students lined the walls taking once last glance at their scribbled notes.
5. My favorite thing in college to this day was being a campus Tour Guide. I smile whenever I see a tour on campus. I absolutely loved the experience and can still walk backwards with the best of them :).
6. There are a MILLION things happening on campus every day of the week. I’m not even exaggerating. I’ve started putting some things on my calendar because one perk of working at a university, especially a well resourced university, is that there are some pretty incredible programming opportunities for students that staff can take advantage of as well. Also, I can still pass for a student SO I just wander into things and no one seems to mind.
7. Listening to first-year students’ conversations while walking is absolutely painful. Since I’m working to blend into the campus community, I have to fight all urges to a. laugh b. physically harm them with a smack upside the head or a good shake c. throw massive amounts of shade d. lock them in their room until graduation e. stand on a tree stump and scream at them through a microphone or f. call a parent/guardian –I’d also like to start a campaign called “Cover Your Cookie” AKA can you please make sure that the length/tightness of your dress/shorts/leggings does not serve as a way for us to confirm your biological sex? We don’t need to see ALL of that when we’re taking a leisurely stroll across campus.
8. We have a cool Farmers’ Market on Thursdays with delicious hummus. Ahem! Hummus is delicious?! MIND. BLOWN.
9. Students are having civil discourse on campus about important issues. Whoo Hoo!
10. Taking someone on a tour of the place in which you work is a great refresher of how good you have it. A beautiful building, a lovely office, fun people to chat with about my personal and professional life. Randwiches, the ladies that make the Randwiches, Brookies (Brownie Cookies), a ticketmaster downstairs, and a patio right outside my office.

In all, I’m still not sure if this is THE PLACE for me but I’m finding more and more things to like about it. Baby steps! I’ve decided to keep walking because it does give me a wonderful opportunity to exhale and I am learning a great deal about the campus culture. Maybe, I’ll find my place after all. Sigh!

Later Y’all!

Job Perk?!

For Monday and Tuesday my staff and my boss took a little trip to Emory University to meet with their Office of Student Leadership and Service Staff. Site visits are a great way to learn from peers in the field. As bonuses we were able to go to Chattanooga, TN and Atlanta/Decatur/Tucker, GA and there are some really cool people that work at Emory. All in all totally a worthwhile adventure. Learning and having fun while doing so is so the hottest thing on the streets. Get into it!

Here is a little photo journey of our trip:

Leon’s Full Service
Raging Burrito & Taco
Community Pie

Fun times and another kick in the face that we have a lot of work to do. Eek! However, we have great partners at a peer institution who want to help and that’s always a good moment. Relationship building is important and I’m amped to continue learning from Emory and perhaps one day we can teach them something. BTW, Emory is adorable–I neglected to get photos of our lunch location but if you ever get to visit pop over to the restaurant above their museum. Delish! There was also a really cool Farmer’s Market happening in the middle of campus. Confession: I’m a college campus geek.

Later y’all.

Post College Advice

If you’re anything like me then college was a time of exploring many things about yourself and those around you, but those things certainly did not include faith. I tried freshman year but the temptation to involve myself in other activites spanning the continuum from being a tour guide to experiencing a plethora of fraternity parties, quickly got in the way. I’m Baptist and I probably went to church a handful of times in four years while I was away at college. Of course, I always filled the motherly mandate of attending my home church while on break but those instances never moved me to add that weekly event to my overly programmed Vera Bradley planner. I never prioritized time to feed that part of myself. The thing was, my beliefs never changed but the way I lived them, or rather, didn’t live them, certainly took a turn from the ages of 18-24.

church

I didn’t reconnect with my faith until I was around 25 years old. I was in my first post graduate position and there was something greatly missing from my life. I was also pretty lonely as I took a job in a city in which I didn’t know a single soul. It dawned upon me that maybe I needed to invest in what had become a dormancy in my life. What I didn’t know is that opening that door led me a to a place that has filled a large gap in my life for the past five years.

If you’re in the same boat, don’t be discouraged or intimated to reconvene your relationship with your faith. If what you were introducted to as a child isn’t working for you anymore, take the adventure to find what you do believe in at this point in your life.

Here are a few tips:
1. This might sound a bit inappropriate in this context but “date around”. Try out different places of worship and find the right doctrine and style for you. Visit a place more than once. I found a great deal of freedom when exploring my options without familial pressure.
2. If you seek to keep with the faith in which you grew up ask your home place of worship for some suggestions of places to visit or faith leaders to contact in your area.
3. Ask your co-workers where they worship and, if you feel comfortable, inquire to see if they’d be willing to let you tag along for a visit. If you do go alone, I have found that people are very friendly and welcoming of newcomers. In smaller venues, people can easily spot a visitor which may lead to intentional outreach to make sure that you feel comfortable and to provide you with more information.
4. See your place of worship as a place of involvment and not just a place that you “go to”. I joined a small group and went from knowing no one to having a small faith based family. I’m all about smiling at people and making them feel comfortable so I also became a greeter which was another outlet to serve and connect with others. Look for opportunities to do community service and other types of ministry. Some places of worship will have affinity groups for young adults or women. If you happen to be single and it is important to you that your partner share your same beliefs then this is also a perfect way for you to mingle and perhaps make more than just a friend. The more relationships you build the more likely you are to stay engaged.
5. Read and do your research. No matter if you’re going back to the faith in which you grew up or if you are seeking a new affiliation, make sure that you read texts to help you become informed. Even better, network with people who are a part of this faith and listen to their story. This can help you understand how people engage in practical applications of what they learn and believe.
7. For me, it was important to get baptized again on my own terms since my six year old self didn’t really have a say in the matter. Is there a ritual or practice in your faith that symbolizes reconnection? If so, explore what that might look like for you and the steps you will need to take in order to make that happen. For some, you might look into a conversion process if you are transitioning from one faith to another and for others you might be looking into a joining process if you are taking on a new religion.
8. Don’t be afraid to start again. So, you might fall off the wagon and other things might get in the way as you are kickstarting your professional life, but that’s okay. You’ll figure it out and stop and start your journey as you see fit. Trust the process.

church lady

Through reconnecting with my faith I have gained a social network, meaningful involvement opportunities in the community in which I live and work, and most importantly I feel like I have reclaimed a piece of me that I can turn to on a regular basis to bring me stability and a sense of calm in my over programmed and chaotic everyday. My mother always told me that I would find my faith when I needed it most and as usual she was right.

Enjoy the journey!

Later Y’all.

Pomp & Circumstance

It’s that time of the year when I have to say goodbye to the senior class. HAPPY GRADUATION! It is all happening…fast!

Right now, many of you are having a jumble of emotions and you are justified in anything you might feel. This chapter is closing but the book has actually just started getting good.

Here are some tips:
1. I love that the students are fulfilling their Nashville/Vanderbilt bucket lists. That’s right, do all those things that you “didn’t have time” to do for the past four years. Perhaps do some things that you were embarrassed to do. Experience these things with the people you really love or just take in a few adventures by yourself and take an opportunity to reflect on all that has happened from move-in Day to your last day of classes.
2. Know that you won’t keep in touch with everyone. In fact, you might have even come to the realization that you really don’t want to keep in contact with some of the people you’ve chosen to spend time with during college. That’s okay. You’ll have to be intentional about keeping in touch with your friends. Social Media will make that much easier than when I graduated in 2005. Remember, you’ll have Homecoming, Alumni Reunion Weekend, and keep up with cool events in the cities in which you and your friends live. Plan a trip. Be sure to get people’s new addresses so that you can send them cards or care packages. Senior year is the time to drop the peripheral people in your life and really focus on your real friends.
3. Make sure to have a final meeting or meal with your favorite professors. They are fantastic resources and in case you want to go back to school it would be good to let them know your future dreams and that you’ll be in touch with them after graduation.
4. Say “Thank You” to those people that have had an impact on your college experience. Maybe you had a fantastic Panhellenic Advisor “ahem” or an academic advisor. Perhaps your House Director, RA, or coach really added value to your world. Let them know. I’ve enjoyed having dinner with some of my favorite Class of 2013 graduates and I know we’ll keep in touch.
5. Take lots of pictures. Gather your friends and take a little jaunt around campus and take pics in the most beautiful places on campus. Go to those special spots where you have great memories and document a moment. Make plans to meet up with your friends on graduation day so that you can take cute cap and gown pictures. Actually print these pictures and frame them for your new apartment or office. When you get a little “college sick” it will be nice to look around and see places and people that you love.
6. Get yourself packed before your parents arrive. If you’re ready to go then you’ll have more time to enjoy graduation day without worrying about taking time to pack. Remember to purge as you pack. Donate 95% of those t-shirts to your younger friends as you really don’t need 100 shirts with your sorority on it post graduation.
7. Do graduation! Don’t think you’re too cool for school. Make it the event that it is supposed to be. You are graduating from college–what a privilege! Go to the baccalaureate ceremony, go to ceremonies for your school or college, and attend the big graduation ceremony. I was lucky to go to a college with lots of traditions that took place during graduation weekend. I promise you won’t regret fitting these items into your schedule. Also, remember that a lot of these events are really for your family and for you all to celebrate together your accomplishments.
8. Wear comfy shoes and an outfit you love under your robe. No one wants to be in that polyester for too long :).
9. RELAX! SMILE! Be proud of yourself. You’ve worked hard and you deserve this moment. Breathe and take it all in because it is a moment you don’t want to forget.
10. It is okay to cry and you’ll probably do that most of your ride/flight home. For many people it doesn’t hit them that college has come to an end until it is time to pack and go to the next destination. Have some tissue handy and make sure that mascara is waterproof. Goodbyes are often hard and part of that is because you’re afraid of not knowing what happens next. Let it all out and then work on getting ready for the next adventure ahead of you. Remember when you left high school and were freaked out about college? Granted, going into “the real world” brings a different set of responsibilities BUT you attacked college and you’ll do the same this time around.

Just remember, that there is so much ahead of you. I thought life couldn’t get any better after college but it did. I like myself way more than I did at 22. College is AMAZING but those four years were not the best years of my life. Don’t get caught up in that often repeated story. As an alumni, remember to take advantage of the benefits of being connected with a college/university. Seek out an alumni chapter in your new city, perhaps sports are a big deal at your school and there are watch parties in your new home. You can donate money, sit on young alumni boards, and serve as an alumni interviewer for prospective students in your city.

Close up of a graduation cap and a certificate with a ribbon

Congratulations! Graduation is a milestone moment and whether you do or do not know what you’re doing after graduation, please enjoy this time. For many of you, it is the first of many graduations but I promise it will always be the most memorable.

Later y’all!