Tina Fey To The Rescue

I was presented with an opportunity on Friday. A fantastic opportunity to throw my hat into the ring for a coveted position and one that in the back of my mind I always wondered if I’d ever have the chance to pursue. I still question whether I’m ready for it but I know that I’m more ready than I believe and I have more time to learn what I need to learn. At the end of the day, most of us are just flying by the seat of their pants and faking it until they make it. Sigh…imposter syndrome is real. I thought about it a lot this weekend and I ran across this golden Tina Fey quote.

Tina Fey Quote

That’s about right. I make the commitment and I’ll figure it out. I say a clear yes and I follow through. I know I want it. I know what it means. I know I can do it. Luckily, I’ll have great people around me who believe in me and who want me to succeed.  On a side note, it takes my breath away that people can believe in you to the point that it drives you to tears.

Alright, no need to over think matters as that will drive one mad. You heard it here first, I said, “YES!”– I said “yes” to a possibility and to do the work needed to rise to the top. It is time to silence all of the little devils on my shoulder.

Does this quote apply to any part of your life? What might you just need to say “yes” to and let go of all of the fear, anxiety, and doubt that immediately unleashes itself on your heart and mind?

Oh, you want to know what “it” is? Stay tuned.

Thanks for reading.

Krystal

Feel Good Things

I’m all about including things in your life that just make you feel good. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned the importance of acquiring a simple indulgence in your life.

Three things have been making me feel super great lately:

1. Green Tea-I started drinking it during the #barre3challenge per the advice of Barre3 Founder, Sadie Lincoln. She advised us to try it instead of coffee and other caffeinated beverages. I was hesitant BUT I have totally forgone coffee since the beginning of the challenge in January. When I need a boost, I make a cup of tea. If I’m fighting snack urges, I dive into a warm and, of course, cute mug. There are all types of Green Tea but I found this kind on the shelf for a great price at my local Kroger and keep a box in my office and in my apartment. Tea makes me feel fancy and mature. Pinkies up!

green tea

2. Beauty Counter- I’ve played it pretty basic with my skincare regimen until my friend and fellow Junior League of Nashville member, Cara introduced me to Beauty Counter. I love that Beauty Counter is not just delicious smelling and effective products that have made my skin incredibly soft but that this company is a movement. This one fact should make you think about what you put on your body everyday.

1938 was the last time Congress passed a law regulating the cosmetics industry.

1938?! This was the last year that there was any type of regulation over products that we utilize every.single.day and that we allow our family to use every.single.day. This is frightening. Cosmetics companies are pretty much running with scissors and using thousands of toxic ingredients that are more harmful than helpful. Our bathroom counters and medicine cabinets are full of products that we think are helping us and our children lead more beautiful lives but in the end could lead to a wide array of medical challenges. Check out beautycounter.com and read more about the products and the movement. I’m in love with the body wash and body lotion. Rinse & Hydrate.

Beautycounter

3. The LovingKind– Mattye Woodcock has the most charming blog and shop on the interwebs. I’m lucky to have met Mattye years ago in North Carolina and her sweet husband Woody through my work in the fraternity & sorority life arena. I’m all about supporting businesswomen and ordering a set of Matty’s sweet cards was a great way to support a small woman owned business but also to make my heart smile as I sent off these lovelies to dear friends for Valentine’s Day. My fave is the Good Pickin’ Card. Since I didn’t have a Valentine, it was all about telling my friends how much I love them. Sending cards creates such a feel good loop. I’ve got a bunch to write and stick in the mail this weekend and I love creating a personal and special message for each individual.

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What are the little things in life that just make you feel good? Never feel bad about grabbing those things up and taking time for them in your day. I hope you look into these products and that they bring a smile to your face.

Thanks for reading.

Krystal

I’m With President Underwood.

” Imagination is its own form of courage.” –President Francis J. Underwood

A. I LOVE House of Cards. I really LOVE Claire Underwood.

B. I don’t live my life according to the show except when it comes to Claire Underwood’s fashion.

C. There are some pearls of wisdom and interesting life strategies that make their way between the instances of murder, adultery, dishonesty, and greed.

The quote above is an example of C.

It has dawned on me this past year that some people don’t feel free enough to dream. There is a brick wall surrounding their ability to be creative and innovative. There is a proverbial stop sign that ceases their ability to tap into the depths of their imagination. To imagine has become a risk.

When did we get to a place in which using your imagination is a privilege and not a right?

Some people have been told “no, that’s impossible.” so many times that the thought of going to the next level is frightening.

Having the courage to take your mind outside the box. To “go there” wherever there might be, to take off the coat of restrictions, to push back assumed artificial boundaries, to strip yourself of f.e.a.r* and to concoct a vision is a part of thriving in this world.

We are often the armed guards who pull ourselves off the cliff even though we have a parachute strapped to our back. “Be realistic.” “That will never happen.” “We don’t have the money for that.” “People like us can’t do that.” “What if no one comes?” “What if no one cares?” “I’m not smart enough or pretty enough or rich enough or [insert adjective] enough.”

Now these could all be valid concerns but before you put yourself in a black hole of  “no.” “never.” “not enough.” and “not me.”–do yourself a favor and muster up the courage to IMAGINE all that could happen. Empower yourself to go beyond your current context. Write down or draw what you see.

Let your mind be free. You become your thoughts. If you’re afraid of your thoughts and you imprison them you’ll never be able to make them come to life.

vision

Children have the best imaginations. The worlds they create are magical, beautiful, intricate,  and full of possibility. They yearn to share it with the tall people walking around who call themselves adults. What if you approached your work in that way? What if you attacked your dream in that manner?

We often tell people to live the “Yes, and…” life when working with others but let’s also remember to do that within ourselves. Lose yourself in your thoughts.

Frank Underwood is onto something with this quote. Give your imagination scissors and let it run free.

Thanks for reading.

Krystal

*false.evidence.appearing.real

Decisions. Decisions. Decisions.

Before you make a big decision, do your best to clear your mind and empty your heart. This might sound nuts but this year has affirmed for me the importance of not making  decisions from a place of temporary emotion. I was incredibly frustrated last year and felt as if I’d been wronged by people that I thought I could trust. I went on a hunt for better–greener pastures. It wasn’t until I allowed myself to take a deep breath, pull out paper and a sharpie, throw on some good music and let myself dig deep into my actions and feelings that I realized I was making decisions from a toxic place. I wasn’t fully aware of my present and I was running away from a station in life that was offering me everything I want but was wrapped in packaging that didn’t meet my level of aesthetics.

decision

I had to let go of what everyone else was telling me, what I’d written on some outdated goal sheet, and get to the facts. The facts revealed that being all up in my feelings wasn’t necessary, warranted, and certainly was not helping me as a professional or person. It also allowed me to grasp what I had the influence to change, what was out of my hands, and the actual–not the imagined impact–those things had on my life. I was going to have to deal with the outcomes of my decisions and not the other people who I was acting towards from a place of spite.

Stepping outside of my feelings provided me with a more realistic view of my present and though there are still things that I’m not 100% content about at this time, I know for sure that if I moved on, there would be many more things that I would be even less happy about in my personal and professional life. I look forward to my days now, now that I’m not trying to run away from them.

Do not make a permanent decision, on a temporary emotion.

My buttons are pushed easily and because I now fully embrace this about myself, I’ve had to alter the way I make decisions. Unless, you’re asking me whether or not I want a cookie–then the answer will always be an enthusiastic, “YES!” It is prudent for me to stop, breathe, and gather all of the stuff that starts swimming in my head and heart before I take action. I strip it all away and think beyond the current moment.  It has saved my life.

What process do you use to make decisions?

Thanks for reading.

Happy New Achoo Year!

sickI’m sick.

What I know about my body is that she has a propensity to get sick around the holidays. I’d push myself so hard during the school year that my body would have no other choice but to give up on my by Christmas. My mom would be ready for me when I walked into the house after a brutal finals schedule in college. When I was younger, I’d bless the whole family with the gift of sick but now that I’m on my own, I luckily only infect myself.

Sickness is often the only way I rest. It is the Lord forcing me to sit down. I’ve got a lot on my plate already for 2015 and I’m not going to be sitting down much at all according to my planner. God already sees destruction ahead and he’s created this hiatus  for me over the next few days as I medicate myself,  drink warm beverages, sleep, watch shows, wrap myself in comfy blankets, and catch up on reading for pleasure. I have no choice but to say “no” to any invitation that might come my way.

I’ve gotten better about saying no and took that leap often during fall 2014. I declined invitations, stepped away from a board commitment, and passed opportunities off to others who I knew could do a great job in my absence.  I had to let go of the fear of the consequences of saying no. This involuntary respite is a reminder that I need to create time to rest and be still in 2015.

God does his best work with us when we’re quiet. When we surrender and let Him do His work. When I’m resting, I can take time to reflect and make meaning out of my life which is how I learn and grow. When I’m well rested, I can deal better with whatever stress may come my way. When I’m rested, I can work on things that matter and give my best effort to make them happen. In Barre3, they tell us to “take a break and come back stronger”. This philosophy needs to be adhered to in our everyday life.

Life is a marathon and not a sprint. Just like a marathon, life needs rest stops and cheer stations to keep up moving towards accomplishing our goals.

I’m thinking that by Monday morning, I’ll be back up and running. Running forward with clear rest stops marked in my planner.

To be honest, as I’ve crossed over into 30, I have found that the thought of going out on Friday nights is unbearable. This has become a time for me to relax from the week and take some Krystal time with my favorite food, book, and/or movie. It works for me.

Don’t fool yourself. You do have time to rest. Make time for it.

How are you making sure to rest in 2015? Vacation? One free day a week? Do you mark off a couple of hours during each day? Maybe 10 minutes of mediation in the morning? A devotional? I challenge you to make room for “Be Still” moments. Schedule your rest stops and enjoy rejuvenation as you make your way to the finish line.

Thanks for reading.

You Live & You Learn

One of the biggest lessons I learned this year was that I have to stop holding people accountable to stories that I’ve written for them. –They have never told me or more importantly shown me that they want to play the role I’ve developed for them. I had to stop letting my imposed narrative lead me to disappointment. —The stories we tell ourselves are powerful. Be willing to step back and discover the origin of the narrative. This will help you direct your response in the right direction and more often than not, you’ll be forced to deal with the person in the mirror.

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Now, I’m not saying this is easy and it hurts, but this mindset has began to save me from hurt, rejection, frustration, anger, and sadness. Managing my expectations and believing people when they tell me and when they show me who they are is the best way to go about living and loving others. When a person wounds me, I have to develop an understanding as to why I feel the way I do and how that person can possess that much power over me. What I know now is that the story I’ve told myself about that person leads me down a dangerous path. The assuming, the hoping, the dreaming, the wishing, the praying, the unchecked believing,  the lack of crucial conversations, the passive aggressiveness, and the disregard for the truth that is staring me in my face had to stop. 

Instead of lamenting, “Why did they do this to me?” Turn inward and think “Why did I do this to myself? What made me write this story? What am I missing? What do I need? What hurt is plaguing my heart that caused me to carve out this narrative and impose my will on someone who never agreed to own it?” This is what you need to address and not the “failure” of the other person. 

Think about the stories you’ve authored for others. Do yourself a favor and delete them. Instead, take that person at face value and the sum of their words and actions. Do this as an act of grace for both of you. 

Thanks for reading, y’all.

Love for 30 Project: Tis the Season of Enough

I’m fortunate to have a second guest post over at Erin Kennedy’s, MyThirtySpot.com. Tis the Season of Enough is the latest addition to the Love for 30 Project. Take some time to check it out today. Remember, you are ENOUGH! You are enough just as you are today. As we move into the holiday season, many of us in some way will feel as if we haven’t done enough. A family member will make a grating comment, your turkey isn’t as juicy as when your sister made it last year, you can’t afford all of the fancy gifts you’d like to give your family, perhaps you’re a student and you already know that your grades for the semester just aren’t going to turn out as you hoped they world, and for many of us we’re looking at the 2014 to-do list with a clear understanding that 2015 is staring us in the face. STEP AWAY FROM THE LIST! Breathe and think about ALL that you have done and all that you’ve overcome this year. Think about the effort, reflect on the process, and hold on to the understanding that whatever you did was enough and that most of that stuff on your list doesn’t really matter anyway. We’ve got to stop trying to pour ourselves into a receptacle that is not meant for us. What’s enough for me might not be enough for someone else or it could be too much and that’s fine. Many of the things we look to with the hope of becoming whole are actually toxic and will never be able to fill that void. So stop! Look around you. I am Enough! I do Enough! I have Enough! Let’s internalize this message and get on with the show.***

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***Believe me, I know there are people in the world who actually don’t HAVE enough. As we move into the holiday season, I encourage you to step outside of your own world and help those in need. There are ample opportunities to volunteer to make the holidays a better time for orphans, the homeless, people with disabilities,  prisoners, senior citizens, single parent families, and people who have a low socioeconomic status. If you’re in Nashville, check out Hands On Nashville for their Holiday Volunteer Guide. Working with those who actually don’t have enough will shine a light on all that you have. You’ll learn a lot about yourself and others while giving back in a time of great need. I promise serving others will give you pause before you launch into your dramatic lament about what you don’t have at this time in your life.

Thanks for reading!

Lata y’all.