Love for 30 Project: Tis the Season of Enough

I’m fortunate to have a second guest post over at Erin Kennedy’s, MyThirtySpot.com. Tis the Season of Enough is the latest addition to the Love for 30 Project. Take some time to check it out today. Remember, you are ENOUGH! You are enough just as you are today. As we move into the holiday season, many of us in some way will feel as if we haven’t done enough. A family member will make a grating comment, your turkey isn’t as juicy as when your sister made it last year, you can’t afford all of the fancy gifts you’d like to give your family, perhaps you’re a student and you already know that your grades for the semester just aren’t going to turn out as you hoped they world, and for many of us we’re looking at the 2014 to-do list with a clear understanding that 2015 is staring us in the face. STEP AWAY FROM THE LIST! Breathe and think about ALL that you have done and all that you’ve overcome this year. Think about the effort, reflect on the process, and hold on to the understanding that whatever you did was enough and that most of that stuff on your list doesn’t really matter anyway. We’ve got to stop trying to pour ourselves into a receptacle that is not meant for us. What’s enough for me might not be enough for someone else or it could be too much and that’s fine. Many of the things we look to with the hope of becoming whole are actually toxic and will never be able to fill that void. So stop! Look around you. I am Enough! I do Enough! I have Enough! Let’s internalize this message and get on with the show.***

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***Believe me, I know there are people in the world who actually don’t HAVE enough. As we move into the holiday season, I encourage you to step outside of your own world and help those in need. There are ample opportunities to volunteer to make the holidays a better time for orphans, the homeless, people with disabilities,  prisoners, senior citizens, single parent families, and people who have a low socioeconomic status. If you’re in Nashville, check out Hands On Nashville for their Holiday Volunteer Guide. Working with those who actually don’t have enough will shine a light on all that you have. You’ll learn a lot about yourself and others while giving back in a time of great need. I promise serving others will give you pause before you launch into your dramatic lament about what you don’t have at this time in your life.

Thanks for reading!

Lata y’all.

Own Your Weekend

Hey!

I have realized that I do so much during the week post work that I’m often exhausted during the weekend. Though I love post 5pm opportunities M-F, I’ve got to reclaim the power of Saturday and Sunday. After lots of time running on the hamster wheel of catch up when it came to work, spending sunny days in my office checking things off my to-do list that were not addressed  due to manufactured crises, useless meetings, social media distractions, colleague conversations, or impromptu and lengthy counseling sessions with the students, I decided that I could no longer subject myself to such torture aka weekend deprivation. The weekend belongs to me and should not belong to my occupation. A weekend side hustle is fine and being on campus to tailgate and cheer on the football team are acceptable but this whole “overachiever” business just needed to cease. Whatever I get done at the end of the day is ENOUGH! The world will keep spinning whether or not I rewrite the Student Leader Survey.

After engaging in intense, needed, and rejuvenating couch time on Friday night and Saturday during which I watched Rush and Walk the Line and went to bed early (Don’t be jelly!) I planned to make Sunday an external day. When I first moved to Nashville in 2011, I was hellbent on seeing this city in all its loveliness. Everything and everyone was new and I had to experience every delicious, melodic, and Christ filled part of it while I whirled around town on solo missions and prolific friend dates. If you need some help with friend dating, holla at your girl. I got that game on lock. I decided that it’s time to get back in the action. Music City is growing at a rapid pace and I’ve gotten behind on touring the list of wonders that make this place the “it” city.

Sunday’s Agenda

– Church at Church of the City in East Nashville

Barista Parlor for brunch in East Nashville

Barre3 Nashville in the Park in Public Square Park

I think my three basic elements were covered: A good Word, A good plate, and A good workout–my mind, body, and soul were well fed this fine Sunday.

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Ephesians 3:20 –“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us…” — His power goes beyond anything we can even fathom. His power saves us and sends us. He is able to do so much more because His power is at work within us. We have to step into God’s power. We walk around feeling like we are in control and we have the ultimate power over our lives BUT we don’t and we have to stop living at that level. “Most Christians salute the sovereignty of God but believe in the sovereignty of man.” —R.C. Sproul –How true is this? We claim that God is at the center of our lives and that we are placing everything in His hands but in actuality we are holding on to it tightly in our palms in fear of letting it go. Pastor Matt told us to think about the relationship in our life that we feel will never be healed and give it to God. Pray about it and watch Him work. Because God’s power is  working within us and it sends us to spread the good Word, we also have to be cognizant of how we can capitalize on his power in our everyday lives. How can you use the word in your workplace, the place you workout, during your volunteer efforts in the community, or when you meet a stranger in the check-out line. I realize that having The Bible in my office and scriptures posted in my office, and when I proclaim, “God is good” or “Give it to God”  or when I’m blaring my Christian Spotify playlist that I’m spreading His word in a way that allows others to tap into that place within themselves even for just a moment. I’m not being pushy, I’m just being present. I crave control but everyday I must remind myself that ultimately, I am not in control. He is God and I am not. Done. His power saves us and sends us. Those are the truths I need to hold on to all day, every day.

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After all this message and beautiful worship I headed over to Barista Parlor for brunch and what I found to be a really cool atmosphere. It was gorgeous outside and the sun hit the Barista Parlor sign perfectly. I ordered The Huntsmen with Bacon and a Hot Chocolate. The cornbread was EVERYTHING!!! #cornbreadcoma –The place is cool and a perfect hipster destination. It’s one of those places that you question whether or not you’re actually cool enough to be in the room. Luckily, I think my hair makes me 10 times cooler than most people in the room ;). KIDDING! People told me that the Baristas were a bit pretentious but I found them to be adorably sweet. The decor was curated in an intentional way that makes the place look vintage and modern all at the same time. I enjoyed sitting and writing with addictive music in the background.

—COSTUME CHANGE—

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All we needed was a mat, water, and a towel for a great workout. We got sweet goodie bags too :).

All we needed was a mat, water, and a towel for a great workout. We got sweet goodie bags too :).

Off to Barre3 Nashville in the Park at Public Square Park to find my edge and embrace those muscle changing shakes. I loved the weather and the workout, but most of all I love the team that make up this studio. Strong women who are beautiful inside and out without any pretense whatsoever. The mic was dropped when it didn’t work and the show went on while we all did crescent lunge under the most beautiful blue sky. The studio is co-owned by two powerhouse women and they have golden hiring fingers. All of the instructors make me happy and I never thought how great it would be for me to find a sense of belonging at the place in which I workout. Barre3 is a great fitness movement for women and I’m an avid supporter.

Called my mom on the way back home (I call my mom every Sunday. If I don’t, the police will be at my door. NOT KIDDING!) and that was a perfect end to my day. She made me laugh extra hard and made me extra proud for the work she’s doing at my home church. I know that He’s using her in the best way. She’s so great with kids and I know that’s where her brain and heart need to be focused. She did pretty well with me and my bro. We are so blessed to have had a mother who challenged and supported us. Kids need that so much. My mom was never my friend, she was my mom and THAT made ALL the difference.

I think I did a pretty stellar job of Owning My Weekend. Next weekend, I’ll be in Kansas City at AJLI’s ODI representing the Junior League of Nashville. Can’t wait to tell you all about it.

It was nice to get back into the city and commit to adventuring around town to new places. I can’t let my week claim all of my energy and passing the time by slumping around my apartment just ain’t gonna cut it. Taking time to get some adult things done is fine BUT I’m only 31 and there’s no need to miss all this sunshine and leaf changing color time. Time to get back in the game.

How are you Owning Your Weekend?

Thanks for reading!

Lata Y’all.

Add this place to your list…

whites mercantile

Well, y’all it is Friday at 2:55pm and I’m just sitting at my desk wanting to venture into the sunshine, grab a snack on 12South and pop into White’s Mercantile for more lovelies. If you live in Nashville or will just be hopping through the city for a visit then I strongly encourage you to stop by and do some damage at this fresh and sunny general store.

White’s Mercantile 2908 12th Ave. South Nashville, TN 37204 Ph (615) 750-5379 Info@whitesmercantile.com is all the info you need to make your way to this destination. There’s even parking in the front!

Oh, and did I mentioned it’s owned by Holly Williams?

Before a delicious lunch at Epice (you should eat here and sit outside if it’s a nice day) and for dessert maybe, Las Paletas?

I digress. Ahem!

Back to White’s Mercantile, billed as the “a general store for the modern day taste-maker” is just what you need to find those pops of special to freshen up your home, office, or your everyday precious routines. There’s an entire section of greeting cards that could have single handedly put me in debt, toiletries, practical accessories, all the delightful notepads you could ever think of in your stationery obsessed mind, kitchenware, and even fancy breath mints. I’m not exaggerating when I say that I wanted to wrap it ALL up and take it home. On top of  that the women who work there are those girls that everyone wants to invite out for drinks but you don’t want to be awkward by basically asking them out on a friend date. Therefore, you leave and promise to come back for more shopping, laughter, and girlie chats.

What did I purchase?

My “Sweetie” coffee mug. When I don’t know people’s names, I call them “Sweetie”. Shh! Don’t tell anyone my secret.

My Hummingbird Factory black and Gold Anchor Clutch because I’m a Vandy employee, a fan, and I sincerely hope our football team gains a better understanding of what it means to “Anchordown” before this football season is a total bust.

My bright yellow Public Supply notebook because well, I love notebooks and a % of the proceeds goes back to New York Public Schools. Win-Win, right?

I highly recommend you give it a go and treat yourself of someone you love.

Thanks for reading!

Lata Y’all.

Lately…

Lately, I’ve just felt this incredible sense of upset.

It takes me a good deep breath, a silent prayer, and often a good workout or drive to calm down.

Little things have been getting to me and things that I thought I was over have been creeping back into places I’d like them not to be.

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As I let it all go this morning in Barre3 and decided to turn the day back on me and not spend the day in my office working away and probably further adding to my ill feelings, I stepped back and thought about all of the awesomeness God has put on my plate. As much as I preach gratitude, I still forget to wrap my heart around all the blessings and instead cozy up to the hurt to keep me warm  cold at night.

Yes, there are many things I’d like to change in my life–the sooner the better BUT until then, I’ve got to play the hand I’ve been dealt and I only play to win ;).

Here are some highlights of the next two weeks…

1. My bubbly buddy Nicole just moved away from Nashville. She’s super awesome and I pray that CA is another place for her to spread her happiness to others. To help her drive away from TN unencumbered by “stuff”, I purchased her TV. Y’all, it’s my first flat screen TV. I’ve never owned one in the many years that I’ve been away from home. My mom gave me money to buy one two years ago but I needed tires so I made an impressively grown up decision to drop the cash on shoes for the ride and not entertainment. Well, now I’ve got my own Samsung. I’m sure the TV Gods are smiling down on me.

2. I get to go to Seattle, WA on Friday. I’ve never been to Seattle! My BFF from grad school is getting hitched! A wedding is always fun and I really want to catch a fish. I actually can’t wait to get on that plane with a book, my USA neck pillow, and not a care.

3. FOOTBALL! The ‘Dores take on Temple on Thursday night. Yes, I’ve fallen in love with college football. Yes, I’m a season ticket holder, and YES, I have planned an adorable outfit for the game. Tailgate season is back! How many new black and gold ensembles can I make happen this season?

4. JohnnySwim is at LOTG next Thursday. Let’s hope it isn’t too hot outside. They do my soul some kind of good. Can’t get enough of those two. Listen!

5. West Side Story at Schermerhorn! Fosse and the Nashville Symphony?! I win.

6. Worship Night at CrossPoint–lots of angelic voices giving praise to God. I can’t be mad at it.

7. A free workshop at The Skillery, Art Camp, Ole Miss v. Vandy at LP Field, The Lone Bellow at LOTG, and the JLN Provisional Retreat round out next week.

I’m also spending some time today reconnecting with the people I’ve come to love in Nashville. Sadly, I haven’t made a lot of time for friends lately. I need some belly laughs. As I’m writing this, one of my fave ladies sent me a text. Such a win!

As usual, I’m quite clueless as to what’s happening with my emotions. This surge of “yuck” came out of nowhere. There are a couple things that I need to actively resolve or let go. I sprung into action today and feel good about my decision to make this a selfish day. My work will get done. It always does.

Pray with me that I’ll be more conscious in choosing how I feel this week.

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Thanks for reading.

Lata Y’all.

 

 

 

 

Summer Snaps

Happy Monday!

Steeplechase to Bonnaroo to Alpha Xi Delta’s Founders’ Academy to Katy Perry to Beyonce to the DCC Locker Room to University of Tampa, to Delta Delta Delta Executive Office, and an incredible amount of  additional adventures –all big–because adventure is always and should always be BIG. Take no adventure for granted. 

Summer 2014 was real good. I spent a nice amount of time outside of Nashville and it was needed. Above are just a few highlights.  One of my family members believes that no matter where I go, I have a good time. He’s 98% accurate. I have the gift of finding giggles in the mundane and belly laughs in the extraordinary. I’ve become a calmer traveler and a more go with the flow guest. There’s something about taking a minute, closing your eyes, and breathing in new air. Taking in the blessing that has allowed me to get away from it all. Getting there is more than a feat of transportation. When I travel, I’m all there and nothing about Nashville weighs down my heart or mind.

My mom doesn’t fly and we only traveled by car when I was little. I didn’t fly until I was 18 and my brother never flew until he joined the Air Force. My mom marvels at my ability to navigate the air and I know that she exhales the biggest breath in Virginia when I alert her that “I’ve arrived.” I think I go on my adventures for her just as much as  I do for me.

Our students are officially back on campus and today marks the end of quiet and all that planning for the fall. Fall is here and ’tis time to put in the best work we got.

Looking forward to making Fall 2014 just as fun.  Next stop: Seattle, WA for exploring and a BFF wedding. Follow me on Instagram to keep up @clarkkn.

Lata Y’all.

Fall, is that you?

I live my life in semesters. I have since I was 18 and will do so for the foreseeable future. Just know, that if you ask me to commit to anything it will be based on what “the kids” are doing in school. Not my biological children but other people’s children who are sent away to college and put in the hands of inside of the classroom and outside of the classroom educators that are charged with creating the ultimate collegiate experience. The object is learn. Learn what’s in the books, learn what makes you tick, and learn how to use all of that to create positive change in the world. No biggie!

goodbye fall

Guess who’s coming to dinner? Fall, is that you? The lovelies are back and August 16th is MOVE-IN DAY. Can’t wait to see all the first-year students in their brand new cowboy boots,  overstuffed cars and over the top U-Hauls with their eager, proud, and concerned parents in tow.  It’s always a fun day to watch them move into their new home. Sigh.

With all of this comes the cold, hard truth. SUMMER is CAPUT! Bye Felicia!

In an earlier entry I listed all of the things I wanted to do this summer in Nashville:

1. Drag Brunch at Suzy Wong’s House of Yum
2. The Zoo
3. Cheekwood
4. Belle Meade Plantation
5. The Peach Truck
6. Oz
7. Grand Ole Opry
8. Movie at Elmington Park
9. Full Moon Pickin’ Party–might become a fall activity?
10. Concert: Woods at Fontanel
11. 12th & Broad Events
12. Musician’s Corner
13. Movies at the Schermerhorn–West Side Story is coming this fall!
14. Belcourt to see Belle
15. Visit to the Farmer’s Market
16. Intense sits on rooftops and patios
17. Johnny Cash Museum
18. POOL! –Already had 2 days in a row 🙂

19. Apparently, we have an arena football team?

10/19 ain’t bad and I still have a few days to go plus I can make some of this stuff happen in the fall. Let’s just say that my Summer Play to-do list got a lot more action than my Summer Work to-do list. I’ll be paying for those decisions for the next couple of weeks. However, I ain’t mad at myself for choosing to do me this summer. It was a necessity.

So, how’d you do on your Summer Play to-do list? I’m a huge advocate for being a tourist in the place that you live. Why not? I’m fortunate to live in a place that I can’t possibly stay up to date on all of the new things to do but I certainly give it a full faith effort.

If you didn’t get to experience all that you wanted, how can you intentionally plan some time to continue attacking your list during the early fall months? Perhaps your friends’ schedules will be back to normal and you can arrange a group outing? I would also say that the cooler weather for many of these activities is actually going to make them more appealing like The Zoo and Cheekwood Botanical Gardens.

This was a bang up summer and I haven’t even told you all of the cool things I got to do including Bonnaroo, Dallas/Fort Worth adventure, my time with Alpha Xi Delta, a trip home, National Leadership Symposium in Tampa, CONCERTS. and a killer tourist trip from my aunt.

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Summer 2014 was certainly a better fit for me than Summer 2013.  I felt like I got back to me. Being away helped me clear my head and rest some toxicity in my heart. I feel that alone would deem this season a success.

Don’t we all feel better in the summer? People are cheerful, tan (I’m always tan), just want to have a good time, and go on adventures.  During summer, we’re more likely to say, “Why not?”, “Yes.”, “Let’s make it happen.”, “Sure, I can stay longer.”, “That can wait.”  You meet a lot of people that you might never see again and you visit those people you haven’t seen in a long time. You close that laptop and put away that phone. You celebrate others and you treat yo’ self. You cross those things off your Bucket List that you’ve only allowed yourself time to complete during the summer.

So, now what? Now, I launch myself into Fall 2014. I take what I learned this summer and I hold it close to me. I cling to that sense of adventure and I intentionally work it into my fall. I don’t allow myself to get buried by the work and I always make sure that when I need to, I can extend my arm with the flag of surrender waving courageously (without shame) in the wind. When I need a break, I’ll take a break. Deal with it!

I’m clearing my plate and making some room for other delicious entrees. I’ve realized that breathing feels great and I’m going to do that more. That whole “invincible summer” thing needs to become a reality.

How are you going to keep summer alive? Don’t let all of this goodness die simply because it’s August. Do us all a favor and keep a piece of it tightly wound up in your heart. Refuse to let it go and break out your summer self when you need to.

Later Y’all.

 

 

What are you doing in the next 1,001 days?

I took some time today to update my 101 in 1,001. I still don’t have 101 things on my list. I need to think more outside the box or just take notice of those times throughout the day when I go, “Wow, I wish I could do that.”

Arianna Huffington, of the Huffington Post and Thrive, inspired me when she stated that one can easily complete a task by simply taking it off your to-do list. Magic! There are times when I put things on a list and then after a while I wonder, “What was I thinking? That doesn’t matter.” Instead of still working to get it done or just keeping it on the list and feeling like a failure, Arianna just says “Get rid of it.” Done and Done. On to the next!

This list all started with Design Darling. I read over her new list to borrow a few ideas. Check out her blog and her cute boutique. She’s lovely.

https://peculiarpearl.wordpress.com/101-in-1001/ –Check it out! Any suggestions?

Later Y’all.

 

Find Your Edge.

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Lately, I’ve been obsessed with Barre3. You’ve probably heard of many different Barre studios and if you live in Nashville I can think of at least two other places where you’d be able to engage in a similar type of fitness program.  None of my comments represent Barre3 or Junior League of Nashville (JLN). 

I was reintroduced to Barre through JLN at a Transfer Member Social Event. My first experience with Barre was awful around two years ago so I was quite reluctant at first. To sum it all up in two words, I felt very “fat shamed” and left feeling defeated and disappointed. However, I decided to give it another go and here’s what I gathered through the words of my instructors:

“Live your truth.” –UM, yes. I say this daily to everyone around me. You have a story. Live it. We lie to ourself everyday. For NO GOOD REASON we lie and we have to STOP. 

“Find your edge.”–ABSOLUTELY. everyday. what’s the point if you’re not? 

“Your body is its own best instructor.” –What? you mean you’re not going to force me into doing what the woman next to me is doing–cause I just can’t. I’ve got to listen to what my body is telling me. I know me. Trust your gut. Intuition. 

“We love modifications.”–Yep. follow your yellow brick road in life. it ain’t going to look like everyone else’s. 

“Own this 60 minutes.” –How many minutes  of our life do we actually allow ourselves to own? 

“Close your eyes and don’t care about your neighbor.” –Great, b/c she’s stressing me out. comparison is the most self-destructive practice we engage in on a regular basis. stop it. 

“Go at your own pace.” –Will do. Can’t compare my Chapter 1 to anyone else’s Chapter 20. 

“Breathe it all out.” —One thing that most of us can control is how we breathe and you’d be so surprised at the amount of stress you can relieve with deep breaths. 

“Bring your hands into prayer.”–I need all the prayers and praying time I can get. 

“Thank your beautiful body.”–Gracias! She is beautiful and I don’t give her enough credit. I couldn’t do this life without her. EVERYONE has a beautiful body. 

“Take a break and come back stronger.” –Isn’t that just perfect? You can’t always go Level 10 hard all the time. If you need to take a break that’s fine. Pull it together and come back ready to take on the world. Maybe you took a break from school or you took time out to raise your kids. Breaks are a thing. Don’t be frustrated by them. 

“Shakes are not a sign of weakness, they are sign of change.” —Lightbulb! Sometimes the things that make us shake are often the most life changing events of our life. Those things that make us nervous, scared, anxious–that’s when we’re pushing ourselves into discomfort, into the storm, and we come out changed. Those Barre3 shakes are not a game. 

These women are speaking all of my love languages.

Now, I am in no way built for ballet. Yoga always bored me and Pilates I’ve only did once or twice and was just whelmed by it.

At the end of that first workout I felt a few things: tired, strong, sweaty, glowing, out of shape, motivated, but most of all I felt supported and thankful. There was no fat shame. There was a “do you” and in fact we’re going to help you “do your best you” with a mat, barre, ball, light weights, and a strap in tow. Not to mention, killer playlists in the background. Some of my fave tunes include Revolver by Madonna, Tambourine by Eve, Addiction by Medina, Ego by Beyonce, and there’s a Will.I.Am song that gets me everytime…I sneaked a look at the playlist to enhance my Spotify :). 

Well, I was hooked and immediately signed up for a month of classes just to see if this was beginners’ luck or if I was going to build some roots in this place while standing in primary posture. Needless, to say I’m back for my second month and I look forward to it in the way I used to look forward to an after work Happy Hour. It is MY 60 minute core blast. I can’t think about anything else in the world because I am “finding my edge” while barely moving that Barre3 inch and praying through those isometric holds. My shoulders relax, I breathe the deepest I ever have and I love me and what my body allows me to do in that space.

The instructors are lovely. It’s like CHEERS in there–they all make it a point to know your name. Listen, I still have A LOT to learn and they are very patient with me and affirming that I’m moving in the right direction. Get this, the women in my classes are super nice! They come in all shapes, sizes, colors, professions, and parts of town. It’s been nice to see “the regulars” and connect with people I might not have met in Nashville.

So, there you go. I’m certainly not trying to convert you BUT if you come across a Barre3 in your area, I would encourage you to give it a shot. Men are certainly welcomed.

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My body and I have had a rough 31 years. I needed this so bad at this point in my life. I feel it in the growing strength in my legs, my butt is now looking down on the world from her newly elevated status, my posture is better, and my arms look lovely in my summer dresses.  All of that is nice but it’s really just refreshing to find a new fitness outlet that not only helps me look better on the outside but strengthens me mentally and spiritually. It’s just good stuff, people. I promise.

I have class today at 6:30.

Later Y’all.

“What was I like as a child?”

Have you ever asked your family what you were like as a child?

The first time I asked my mother this question she said 1 word…

LOUD!

Thanks Mom, you’re a gem.

When I approached her again along with my other relatives they said things like…
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you taught school every day to your stuffed animals –even on Saturday and Sunday
you loved school—even when there was a flood, we just had to get you to school or you’d cry like a crazy person
you loved all people no matter who they were or their station in life
smart. we don’t know where you got that from but you’ve always been really smart
you read ALL the time. We’d find books hidden in all of your special nooks so that you could retrieve them upon your return
if we ever needed anyone to do a speaking part in church, you were our first choice because the seniors could always hear you…you were this happy, smiling, articulate, loud little person

At the ripe old age of 28, I had this flash of panic that I wasn’t headed in the right direction. What was I doing with my life? Am I using my full capacity?
Has this ever happened to you?
If so, if you’re lost, I encourage you to look BACK and I promise you that it can give you the information you need to move forward.

When I collected all of the responses from those that knew me prior to the age of 10 I had the realization that my strengths, those gifts that God gave to me over 30 years ago are the same today as they were back then.

My passions, those things that call me out of bed in the morning are those things that I loved doing as a child.
My happy place as a child is still my happy place at 31.
Teaching, speaking, having an audience, educating those around me and helping them to be their best self.

God knows my story because he wrote it from beginning to end and he was superb at foreshadowing.

When I took the time to look BACK I can see all of the clues that led me to where I am today. It is no coincidence that I do what I do.

My challenge to you is that the next time you’re lost on your professional path. Reach out to those who knew you before you were 10 and ask that simple but critical question,

“What was I like as a child?”

The above is a small talk I shared at “Faithful to Speak” at Fellowship Bible Church in Brentwood, TN. We had around 15 minutes to write it, one rehearsal and a brief moment of peer feedback in small groups. I was then one of three to perform on stage while being videotaped. I enjoyed the process and am pretty okay with the outcome. My biggest critical feedback was that I need to highlight a story that demonstrates my current professional role and how that fits in with what I discovered about myself through the looking back process. I can do that.

Cross The Street

Sometimes, a girl forgets to look both ways…

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I love country music. I mean, I sit and sink myself into it like a warm bath after a hard day. I’ve loved it since right before middle school. I went to summer day camp and each week we’d head to the bowling alley on the military base. The following people attended the bowling alley: soldiers, government workers, families of the two, and us–a bunch of kids who ate all the french fries and were awful bowlers. I mean, we still used bumpers and would become quite disinterested after 2 games. As is true now, military folks love them some country music and that’s what was playing every time we went to bowl. After a couple of times, I figured out that I no longer wanted to make fun of this music. I wanted to own this music.

Names like Shania, Faith, Tim, Garth, Trisha, Martina, Leanne, Travis, Allen, Gary, Brooks & Dunn, Rascal Flatts, SheDaisy, Sara, Deanna, and Teri, etc. entered my life and haven’t left. Fast forward 20 years and I live in Nashville. Foreshadowing is something special, ain’t it?

They lyric above is from a song I heard at the Listening Room Café on Friday. Singer: Marion Grace–she’s got chops. She gives me Faith Hill in her heyday and Lord, do I love me some Faith Hill. The words caught me off guard.

Sometimes, a girl forgets to look both ways… How many times have you forgotten to look both ways? Remember those times you just walked directly into “traffic” with no care for what was coming for you? Maybe you even closed your eyes and just stepped right in?

Now, don’t get me wrong because this isn’t always disastrous. You could cross the street at the perfect time–that peaceful pause when the stoplights decide to slow the world down and there is no chaos for you on your journey to the other side.

The song was sad. The context of a relationship that you ran into heart first without any care as to what might happen, what could happen, and the abrupt pain when it in fact did happen. You heard the impending sirens but you marched onward with more hope than can float. Uh, I mean, no one’s ever done that, right?!

Who would we be if we always looked both ways? If we were always cautious and rule followers, where would we actually end up? Often the moments when you learn the most are those traffic jams, when the brakes screech to a halt and you know that you have no choice but to get out of the way. The aftermath, the clean-up, the apologies, the way your heart beats from fear, confusion, and being more alive than you’ve ever been. Deep down you’re proud of who you are and what you’ve become when you leave the scene in one piece–a bit battered and bruised but ALIVE.

We think to the point of exhaustion and paralysis. We create more drama in our lives than actually exists. Done is better than perfect. Cross the street. Get out there. Look or don’t look–those are your options. Pick one and get on with it.

mistakes

Oh and remember, keep a little country music at your side for motivation.