So, as I was sitting in my apartment I realized that Lauren Conrad was staring at me. No, she wasn’t in my apartment (although I wouldn’t mind meeting her and chatting about that whole Jason/Paris fiasco that ruined an entire night of graduate school for me and my next door neighbor–really, Lauren? Jason over PARIS!) Oh, sorry back to the original point of the blog. Anywho, Lauren was on the cover of the May issue of Glamour Magazine. There are times in which I don’t really read the entirety of the magazines I purchase but I, like a child, look at the pretty pictures and tear them out for my fashion inspiration piles. In keeping with this trend I missed reading the piece entitled, “How to Be Happy: 30 things every woman should have (and should know) by age 30”. Well, is it just a coincidence that I am 29 with 9 months to spare until I’m the big 3-0? I decided to delve back into this issue for a bit of substance this time around.
The article is a mix of a list of 15 things you should have and 15 things you should know. There is also advice from some of our fave celeb bffs including Suze Orman to Lisa Ling with a sprinkle of Rachel Zoe, Katie Couric, and Taylor Swift?! in the mix.
I jumped directly to the Have/Know List mainly because this was in short blurbs and I did have to find my way to work eventually.
Not to ruin the whole article for you as I’m sure you will google it as soon as you read this blog but here are some places on the list that I fell short:
#1–Great start, kiddo! “One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come. –I know that from my pic you can tell that I’m pretty gorgeous (sarcasm) BUT I’ve only had O-N-E boyfriend in my 29 years of life. Do I fulfill this “HAVE” if I feel this way about one individual? I’m not sure I would say “no” if he asked me back into his life but I would certainly have to think about it long and hard. Super difficult to get over your first and most recent love to date. Maybe I just need to find another boyfriend? Easier said than done, my friends.
#4- “A purse, a suitcase, and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying.” -Well, I need new luggage. A wheel fell off and I overpacked one bag to the point that it split. I have everything else. 2/3 ain’t bad, right?
#11- “A set of screwdrivers (check), a cordless drill (nope), and a black lace bra (nope).”–Maybe, that’s why I’m having trouble with #1.
#13- “The belief that you deserve it.” -That’s tricky because I know I don’t deserve God’s blessings BUT I’m super thankful for His grace and the way He loves me. I work hard and I hope that this behavior works in my favor. I deserve to be treated in a respectful manner. So, I guess I have this one under control but not in the way Glamour has phrased it.
#15- “A solid start on a satisfying career (check), a satisfying relationship (nope–see #1) and all those other facets of life that do get better.” –Such as…?
By 30, you should know…
#1- “How to fall in love without losing yourself.” –See #1 and #15 in “Haves”. I haven’t had much practice. I lost myself the first time. I fell hard and it took years to get back up. The end.
#2- “How you feel about having kids.” –Kinda depends on the whole relationship thing. I’d be a great mom, that’s a fact. Do I feel I need that right now, nope. Would I want that if I met the right partner? Yep.
#6- “The names of the secretary of state (yep), your great grandmothers (nope), and the best tailor in town (nope).”–I should ask my mother about this one. All but one of my grandparents is dead. Way closer to my maternal grands than my paternal. I’ll call mom later this week and ask.
#15- “Why they say life begins at 30!” –Hmm, I guess I have to get there first. Get excited!
All in all, I’m not upset with this list but I feel that all things happen in due time. If I don’t get these things accomplished by 30, I don’t think I’ll be removed from the game of life. I’m a late bloomer in love and relationships. It is what it is. Am I lonely? No. Would it be nice to have someone around? Sure. If 30 is the new 20 then I guess I actually have an extra 10 year period to check off all these items. Isn’t that how it works? As far as the material items, I am more than willing to add a few things to my shopping list. Home Depot, here I come! I don’t know what Glamour’s sources were in compiling this list BUT I don’t look to Glamour for Pulitzer worthy literature. I mean other taglines inlcuded, “My Mom is on Real Housewives” and “Sex Do’s and Don’ts”. None of these list items bad but they aren’t really the most in depth thoughts one could have about aging. They could, at least, make the language inclusive. Glamour, would it kill you to say partner?
Recently, I pulled my name out of contention for a leadership role in my professional association. I spent some time reflecting on my priorities and realized that I had no passion for the position. I submitted my materials because someone believed in me to nominate me and because I mean, its what I do. I apply for things and often I win them. This is a blessing and a curse. I stepped back during my time in GA and TX teaching college sorority women to explore their values and to live congruently with those values to do the same with my own. If this position isn’t in alignment with what I value then why am I doing this? What is the point?
That, my readers, is something you need to know by the age of 30 and if possible if you could learn it by the age of 18 that would be awesome. Figure out what you value and live it. Truly use your values as your guideposts. Consult your values in your decision making. What do you care about? When you know what you care about and you act accordingly then your life will flow in a way that will allow you to look in the mirror and feel good about who you are in that very moment.
This is not easy and it is a process but if you can practice on a daily basis I promise that any weight on your shoulders will be lifted. When I sent the email that freed me from this election I instantly felt better. I felt light, happy, and I felt empowered. I felt like me. If you can do this then the rest of this list will fall into place or it won’t BUT you’ll totally be fine either way because as least you’ll know who you are. Would you rather be able to drill a hole in your wall OR live an authentic life? Totally up to you. No pressure :).
Hey Glamour, let’s add that to next year’s list. THANKS!