I said “no” and it was all okay.

no 2


I said “no” and it was all okay.

Recently, I stepped back from a commitment. I’d thought about it for a few months but I kept plugging away because I’m not great at stepping back–I’m a step forward kinda girl.

After a while I realized that not only was I doing myself harm by not backing down but I was also doing the opposite of a good volunteer and I was actually hurting the organization. I wasn’t fulfilling my end of the bargain.

It all felt like an obligation. Life has too many obligations that we should not be in the business of adding more of the “o” word to our plate. I want to want to do everything that I commit my time to in this world. I want all my “extra” in life to feel like an opportunity or a privilege. I don’t want it to be painful. When I fail to prioritize something time and time again, that is a clear indication that I need to let it go. Please don’t start singing that song from Frozen. I actually am the only person in the world who doesn’t get the obsession with the song or the movie.

It hurt to write my goodbye emails but it also lifted an extremely large burden off my shoulders. Now, I don’t have to feel bad about not wanting to do it and then actually not doing it.

It is my opinion that organizations would rather have a clear “no” than a weak and noncommittal “yes”.

no 3

Don’t worry about being perceived as a “quitter” and don’t walk around thinking that the organization will fail if you walk away. Everyone in an organization should be replaceable. If not, it has bigger problems than you no longer wanting to be involved. Walking away doesn’t mean that you don’t care about the cause and in most cases, it doesn’t mean that you can’t ever be involved again at a later time. All it means is that you are taking the opportunity to take care of yourself —own that moment and honor it.

Look at your plate. Is there an item or item(s) on it that you need to bow out of graciously? Think about your exit strategy.

Why are you backing away? Don’t think about this too deeply because it could be as simple as  you just don’t want to do it anymore. Maybe you want to devote yourself to other activities. Maybe you became too involved too fast and need to examine whether or not this activity meets your overall vision and mission for your life.

Who do you need to tell that you’re taking a time out? The chair of the committee, president of the organization? Maybe you want to send private emails to those folks who you’ve developed relationships with that you don’t want to have hard feelings about your departure. You can still stay connected to these folks. No need to burn bridges. The world is tiny.

Is there any transition that you need to assist with upon your departure? Should you set up a meeting to pass along materials and engage in any knowledge transfer to keep this aspect of the organization stable and poised for success? Don’t just leave the organization high and dry. Also, make sure that you update any communications that have you listed as a member of the group such as your email signature, LinkedIn, business cards, and other social media profiles.

What does the conversation sound like when you communicate with others that you’re no longer involved? You don’t owe people an ounce of an explanation but it would be wise to not bad mouth people or the organization. Perhaps you can recommend others to get involved. Maybe you decide to still support on some level (fiscally, low key volunteer position, and social media promotion, etc.). Don’t be afraid to tell people that you needed to clean up your plate of life. Your freedom to admit and live your truth invites others to do the same.

no complete sentence

Relax! Breathe it away and keep it moving. Think about how you’re going to use this extra space in your life. Maybe you just need to do nothing with it except binge watch a show on Netflix and make it to Barre class more than twice a week. Doesn’t that sound awesome?

If you’re anything like me than you are often the last person on your to-do list AND this right here, the art of stepping back, is helping you to move yourself up spot by spot until that one magical day when you find yourself in the #1 slot.

Say “no” or “goodbye” and watch how your life changes. I am living proof that you can say these words and it all be okay. If you need some help with saying no in a way that feels better to your heart and mind check out this list below:

helpful ways to say no

I encourage you to say “no” today.

Thanks for reading.

Lata Y’all.







be still

Because I am in a covenant with God he shall supply all my needs. He will fight for me. I can be still and know that He will ALWAYS fight for me. God takes our covenant seriously and He will not back out on me. I must be still and rest in Him–I can stop swinging.

Pray for me that I remember at those moments when I am moved to lash out and fight that I remember who has my back. My covenent is a solemn, binding agreement with the Father. The most intense and everlasting pinky promise EVER! I am so blessed that he is steadfast. I will never deserve it but man am I ever grateful.

Thank you Amy Bryant for this message at Kairos’ Girls’ Night Out.

Later Y’all.

Happy 2013!

I don’t do well with New Years’ Resolutions.

I have made one blanket resolution this year and here it goes:

create a life


I think that just about covers everything.

Of course, I have goals and need to work on making plans to meet those goals but at the end of the day when I make a decision I need to be more reflective and prayerful. “Yes” and “No” must be used in ways that are healthy, appropriate, and in alignment with my values. I’m turning 30 in April and I don’t want to “keep up appearances”.

Hope the beginning of 2013 is treating you well.

Later y’all.



Movie Monday


I saw Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2.

It was terrifically awful. Why see it? I mean, I knew it was going to be awful because all of the Twilight movies are awful BUT I read the books which were not awful and I’m a persistent person. I started seeing them and I couldn’t just stop at the last movie. I’m no quitter!

The screaming little girls who kept willing Jacob to take off his shirt was the best part of the experience and also the most disturbing. More disturbing than the gross amount of beheading that took place.

There was a twist that added some good suspense. The sex scenes were, well, they were intense and not meant for the eyes of the aforementioned little girls.

Baby Renesmee was eerie.

Jacob is a total hottie. Edward isn’t bad looking. Bella is just miserable. Charlie is hilarious and I felt bad for him during the movie.

The random vampires they brought in from across the world added some needed depth to the movie. Loved the crazy Patriot who chanted “The Redcoats are coming.” as the Voltaire walked into the scene. The ladies from the Amazon were beautiful in an insane way. The Russian duo was fun to watch.

I’m glad that part of my literary and cinematic life is over.

Bring on Hunger Games: Catching Fire in November 2013.

Later y’all.


On Friday, I’m in love with…

So, remember when I wrote about the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders HERE?

Well, my guilty pleasure this week is my love of tweeting with the DCC. In fact, I have been tweeted by @DDD_Veronica, @DCC_Jasmine, @DCC_Brittney, @DCC_Jenna, and @DCC_Nicole. Boom!

@DCC_Nicole, @DCC_Brittney, @DCC_Jasmine, and @DCC_Ann  was a response.  @DCC_Jenna favorited and then retweeted my tweet.

Yep, I was all smiles!

I don’t know, I just love them! I also really love the fact that they actually take the time to tweet their followers.

My obsession with cheerleading will never fade. The sport (yes, the sport) taught me a great deal about myself and what it means to be a member of team. It gave me a needed confidence boost and helped me establish a much more positive body image. Those girls were my family and I loved them dearly. My best times in high school were out on the field or on the court. Pep Rallies were my happiest moments and even when I won Homecoming Queen I did the cheers in my sparkly blue dress. I think when I watch the DCC my mind wanders back to those times and I’m thankful for that experience.

Yay for the power of the Tweet!

Later y’all.



On Thursdays, We Give Thanks.

Oh, hey! The most thankful holiday EVER, Thanksgiving is upon us! Get amped.

I’m thankful for a few things today. Ahem!

1. Living in a town where I can go hear bands and develop new music crushes. I went to 3rd & Lindsley last night with a group of cool kids and we had the privilege of hearing the musical stylings of Neulore, The Last Bison, Canon Blue, and Paper Route. Yeah, I didn’t know any of these bands until a quick Spotify crash session to at least appear like I cared at the show. Verdict: Love Paper Route and the The Last Bison. Check em’ out!

2. My gym. I love Boost Fit Club. Friendly, clean, helpful, cute trainers, and the best stress relief on Earth in the form of an elliptical machine and heavy weights. I crank up the tunes and I sweat it all out. I leave it all there on the gym floor. My mind and my body feel better.

3. Back Down South – If you’ve read my blogroll before then you know that I adore this blog from Caroline Fontenot. The music, the clothes, the South, the fact that people I know and love are featured, and of course the giveways! I won! Whoop! A beautiful Diane Kelly Cork Clutch will be in my possession in the very near future. That tweet was a daychanger and a wardrobe changer.

4. I go home to VA in 4 days! Thank you Jesus! I miss me some Virginia. Break is here and me and the students totally needed this respite from each other. I love them and I’m sure they love me but we just need a break. We’ll reconcile our relationship on the 26th.

5. Kairos at Brentwood Baptist Church. Sometimes, I just need and want the Word on Tuesday night. The worship is AMAZING! The people are nice. The Word is so good. Mike brings it home in a way that I need it to hit me, which is in a fashion similar to a ton of bricks. There is something special about the experience and I got to take my new Theta Consultant friend for her first time. God is always there for me and sometimes on a Tuesday night from 7-9pm in a room full of people where I don’t know a soul (at least not that I know of) is where he is the clearest for me.

I love doing this post! Sorry, it is a day late. I’m thankful that you’re flexible.

Later y’all.

Movie Monday

I love the movies. The movie theatre is my go-to escape destination. I go alone.  I get a Kids’ Pack. I wear a big sweater and I completely immerse myself in the movie. I cry more in the dark at the movie theatre then I will ever cry in front of people. I laugh like I am the only one in the room. I get so caught up that I can’t even sit back in my chair. I LOVE the movies! I take myself on movie dates quite often. I look forward to it and afterwards I feel relieved. It is a cathartic experience and one that in my constant state of busyness, I’ve neglected to type into my iCal. Sadness :(.

After a hiatus, I am back and I picked a gem this time around. I saw the Perks of Being a Wallflower based on the book by Stephen Chbosky. I read this book in high school and it quickly became my favorite. Charlie, the main character is a beautifully written person who feels emotions at a level that I greatly envy. I’ve loved him since the first page and I have been waiting with great anticipation for this movie to grace theatres with its prescence. You know how the movie is never as good as the book? This totally came as close as you could get to being spot on.

I cried A LOT in this movie. I think I cried for the same reason that this book resonates with me and has since I was a teenager. Charlie and I are more alike than I’ve ever cared to admit. Most people that know me would never believe that, but it’s the truth. Charlie is a wallflower and he’s finally decided to start “participating” in life. There is a twist in Charlie’s story that you don’t discover until almost the end of the movie. The twist is shocking and helps you put everything into perspective. Charlie finds a group of friends and is welcomed onto the “island of misfit toys”. His English teacher shows great interest in him and  believes in his dream of becoming a writer. He gains a girlfriend. He falls in love and not with the aforementioned girlfriend. Charlie takes life in; he “sees things and he understands.”

The actor who played Charlie delivered a flawless performance and the cast was pretty phenomenal. I hesitated at Emma Watson being cast as Sam but she fulfilled every nuance of this role. Patrick is just too much to even fit into a blog.

I loved this movie. I needed a good cry and I needed to be reassured that everything is going to be okay. Despite all that Charlie goes through in his life you leave with the highest hopes that he is going to be fine. In the same note, you also hope that you too are going to be fine.  This book coming to life before my eyes was the perfect return to the movie theatre. I saw the movie on Saturday and I honestly can’t stop thinking about it and am tempted to see it again.

Read the book. See the movie. Fall in love.

Later yall.

On Thursdays, We Give Thanks.

No,  I didn’t forget that I have a blog. I just haven’t felt blog worthy lately. These posts must be authentic or they lose their relevance.

Luckily, being thankful is always relevant.



1. The Nice People of Nashville. Seriously, I’ve met some of the kindest people in the whole world in this city and when I reach out to them they reach back. I’ve been feeling a bit anti-social lately but had just made the decision to get back on the social horse for another ride. I now have friend dates for this weekend and early next week. I had a lunch date with an inspiring young woman who works through her heart for the YWCA and gives me hope that one day my professional life is going to once again bring me personal happiness and satisfaction. People Power is alive in Nashville and I’m so grateful for the blessing of being a part of this place.

2. Those counseling classes I took in graduate school. Oh, have I been using those lately. I’m not sure what happened but word on the street is that I’m a great person to talk to. Eek! Such pressure! The students are coming in droves to relax in my comfy green chairs and share their woes. 99% of the conversation has nothing to do with Greek Life –we are talking REAL LIFE in all capital letters. Fortunately, the University of Maryland CSP Program is Counseling Based therefore I’ve done my share of active listening, paraphrasing, using silence, and avoiding jumping into action too quickly. These kids don’t want answers; they want someone to listen and I’m all ears.


3. The election is OVER! Whew! I don’t like politics and I’m still under the rule that you don’t discuss it at the dinner table, on a first date, and especially not in sorority recruitment. Also, let’s not discuss it over social media. Both sides were just outright mean this year and there was little respect from anyone including the candidates. I don’t like questioning friendships, virtual or real, over some snarky political comment. At the end of the day, no matter who is president, all we have is each other and God. Let’s remember that and keep fighting the good fight of making this world a little bit better everyday.


How about you? Thankful much?

Later y’all.



On Fridays, I’m in Love With…

Overhearing conversations…

Yep, I’m a listener. I have really great hearing. It amazes me what people speak about in public places.

I’m not putting a glass to a door or planting bugs in rooms, I’m just listening intently.

Good places to listen? Airport, Starbucks, Elevator, Dressing Rooms, Public Restrooms

What do I get from it? You’d be surprised. People say things that make me think about my own life and move me to reflect on all that I have in which to grateful. Other times, I often wish that I could lean in and give them a hug.

I mean, in all honesty, schadenfreude, is alive and well. Why do you think we watched things like Ricki Lake and Jerry Springer and now indulge in tragic reality TV. The misfortune of others gives us pleasure. We feel better about our lives because at least we are not “those people”. This is not okay but it is the sad truth.

My mom calls me nosy but I don’t  pry–I just take in whatever floats past my ears. All I know is that everyone’s got their stuff and it is often quite difficult to not empathize/sympathize with someone once you’ve heard their story. The sheer humanity of people is dazzling and there is extreme power in the vulnarability we are capable of possessing.
There have been times when I’ve been close enough to hear to the conversation that one of the participants will say, “What do you think?” or “You probably think we’re nuts.” I’m always actually caught off guard by those call-ins, but I gladly participate. I mean, why not? I’m listening anyway :).
Just remember, if you happen to be near me and you’re having a conversation just be aware that I’m listening to you and in my head I’m coming up with my own witty comments and advice that you’ll never hear (unless you ask). My ears are always on alert.
This might be perceived as rude but maybe it is just an extension of my love of people and figuring out what makes them tick. Yeah, let’s look at it that way.
Later y’all.

On Thursdays, We Give Thanks.


1. The sheer cuteness of little kids in Halloween costumes. I mean, are you kidding me? They are just adorable! I turn into a puddle. Thanks moms/dads for posting those pics on Facebook. Made my heart swell.

2. OTC medication and Simply Orange w/ NO PULP! Just got over the ACHOOS! and COUGHS! Thanks to a run to CVS and Kroger, I was able to pull myself back together. I often feel that getting sick is just a sign from God that your body needs a break. He was totally right as per usual. I also think God uses it as a reminder that my mom is totally awesome and took such amazing care of me when I was a kid. Well, who am I fooling? She takes amazing care of me now. I just wish she was here to burrito me into bed after applying Vicks’ VaporRub.

3. Women eager to become leaders in the Panhellenic community. Nice little turnout at the Information Session today. Great questions and big smiles. Let’s hope the future is bright for Panhellenic.

4. People who pass on good things they’ve heard about you in the community. “I’ve been told that you’re awesome.” “Oh my gosh, my friend loves you!” “My roommate told me that you’re really funny.” Do people a favor and pass on what you hear. Nothing better than a game of positive “Telephone”. Make people smile–tell them the good.

Tis the month of Thanksgiving so  I feel like the “Thankful Train” is about to pick up speed just about everywhere. I’ve already seen a Facebook friend begin her daily grateful Facebook post and Dina Manzo (formely of Real Housewives of NJ or RHONJ) is doing a Grateful Twitter campaign. Yes, I just used a RHONJ Housewife as a reference. Deal with it! At least it wasn’t Teresa! You should think about climbing on board and reflecting on what you’re thankful for at this time in your life.

Later Y’all.