Category: Life

Find Your Edge.

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barre3-nashville

Lately, I’ve been obsessed with Barre3. You’ve probably heard of many different Barre studios and if you live in Nashville I can think of at least two other places where you’d be able to engage in a similar type of fitness program.  None of my comments represent Barre3 or Junior League of Nashville (JLN). 

I was reintroduced to Barre through JLN at a Transfer Member Social Event. My first experience with Barre was awful around two years ago so I was quite reluctant at first. To sum it all up in two words, I felt very “fat shamed” and left feeling defeated and disappointed. However, I decided to give it another go and here’s what I gathered through the words of my instructors:

“Live your truth.” –UM, yes. I say this daily to everyone around me. You have a story. Live it. We lie to ourself everyday. For NO GOOD REASON we lie and we have to STOP. 

“Find your edge.”–ABSOLUTELY. everyday. what’s the point if you’re not? 

“Your body is its own best instructor.” –What? you mean you’re not going to force me into doing what the woman next to me is doing–cause I just can’t. I’ve got to listen to what my body is telling me. I know me. Trust your gut. Intuition. 

“We love modifications.”–Yep. follow your yellow brick road in life. it ain’t going to look like everyone else’s. 

“Own this 60 minutes.” –How many minutes  of our life do we actually allow ourselves to own? 

“Close your eyes and don’t care about your neighbor.” –Great, b/c she’s stressing me out. comparison is the most self-destructive practice we engage in on a regular basis. stop it. 

“Go at your own pace.” –Will do. Can’t compare my Chapter 1 to anyone else’s Chapter 20. 

“Breathe it all out.” —One thing that most of us can control is how we breathe and you’d be so surprised at the amount of stress you can relieve with deep breaths. 

“Bring your hands into prayer.”–I need all the prayers and praying time I can get. 

“Thank your beautiful body.”–Gracias! She is beautiful and I don’t give her enough credit. I couldn’t do this life without her. EVERYONE has a beautiful body. 

“Take a break and come back stronger.” –Isn’t that just perfect? You can’t always go Level 10 hard all the time. If you need to take a break that’s fine. Pull it together and come back ready to take on the world. Maybe you took a break from school or you took time out to raise your kids. Breaks are a thing. Don’t be frustrated by them. 

“Shakes are not a sign of weakness, they are sign of change.” —Lightbulb! Sometimes the things that make us shake are often the most life changing events of our life. Those things that make us nervous, scared, anxious–that’s when we’re pushing ourselves into discomfort, into the storm, and we come out changed. Those Barre3 shakes are not a game. 

These women are speaking all of my love languages.

Now, I am in no way built for ballet. Yoga always bored me and Pilates I’ve only did once or twice and was just whelmed by it.

At the end of that first workout I felt a few things: tired, strong, sweaty, glowing, out of shape, motivated, but most of all I felt supported and thankful. There was no fat shame. There was a “do you” and in fact we’re going to help you “do your best you” with a mat, barre, ball, light weights, and a strap in tow. Not to mention, killer playlists in the background. Some of my fave tunes include Revolver by Madonna, Tambourine by Eve, Addiction by Medina, Ego by Beyonce, and there’s a Will.I.Am song that gets me everytime…I sneaked a look at the playlist to enhance my Spotify :). 

Well, I was hooked and immediately signed up for a month of classes just to see if this was beginners’ luck or if I was going to build some roots in this place while standing in primary posture. Needless, to say I’m back for my second month and I look forward to it in the way I used to look forward to an after work Happy Hour. It is MY 60 minute core blast. I can’t think about anything else in the world because I am “finding my edge” while barely moving that Barre3 inch and praying through those isometric holds. My shoulders relax, I breathe the deepest I ever have and I love me and what my body allows me to do in that space.

The instructors are lovely. It’s like CHEERS in there–they all make it a point to know your name. Listen, I still have A LOT to learn and they are very patient with me and affirming that I’m moving in the right direction. Get this, the women in my classes are super nice! They come in all shapes, sizes, colors, professions, and parts of town. It’s been nice to see “the regulars” and connect with people I might not have met in Nashville.

So, there you go. I’m certainly not trying to convert you BUT if you come across a Barre3 in your area, I would encourage you to give it a shot. Men are certainly welcomed.

barre3 nashville facebook

My body and I have had a rough 31 years. I needed this so bad at this point in my life. I feel it in the growing strength in my legs, my butt is now looking down on the world from her newly elevated status, my posture is better, and my arms look lovely in my summer dresses.  All of that is nice but it’s really just refreshing to find a new fitness outlet that not only helps me look better on the outside but strengthens me mentally and spiritually. It’s just good stuff, people. I promise.

I have class today at 6:30.

Later Y’all.

“What was I like as a child?”

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Have you ever asked your family what you were like as a child?

The first time I asked my mother this question she said 1 word…

LOUD!

Thanks Mom, you’re a gem.

When I approached her again along with my other relatives they said things like…
talkative
you taught school every day to your stuffed animals –even on Saturday and Sunday
you loved school—even when there was a flood, we just had to get you to school or you’d cry like a crazy person
you loved all people no matter who they were or their station in life
smart. we don’t know where you got that from but you’ve always been really smart
you read ALL the time. We’d find books hidden in all of your special nooks so that you could retrieve them upon your return
if we ever needed anyone to do a speaking part in church, you were our first choice because the seniors could always hear you…you were this happy, smiling, articulate, loud little person

At the ripe old age of 28, I had this flash of panic that I wasn’t headed in the right direction. What was I doing with my life? Am I using my full capacity?
Has this ever happened to you?
If so, if you’re lost, I encourage you to look BACK and I promise you that it can give you the information you need to move forward.

When I collected all of the responses from those that knew me prior to the age of 10 I had the realization that my strengths, those gifts that God gave to me over 30 years ago are the same today as they were back then.

My passions, those things that call me out of bed in the morning are those things that I loved doing as a child.
My happy place as a child is still my happy place at 31.
Teaching, speaking, having an audience, educating those around me and helping them to be their best self.

God knows my story because he wrote it from beginning to end and he was superb at foreshadowing.

When I took the time to look BACK I can see all of the clues that led me to where I am today. It is no coincidence that I do what I do.

My challenge to you is that the next time you’re lost on your professional path. Reach out to those who knew you before you were 10 and ask that simple but critical question,

“What was I like as a child?”

The above is a small talk I shared at “Faithful to Speak” at Fellowship Bible Church in Brentwood, TN. We had around 15 minutes to write it, one rehearsal and a brief moment of peer feedback in small groups. I was then one of three to perform on stage while being videotaped. I enjoyed the process and am pretty okay with the outcome. My biggest critical feedback was that I need to highlight a story that demonstrates my current professional role and how that fits in with what I discovered about myself through the looking back process. I can do that.

What’s My Motivation?

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Mastery

Mastery as defined by Daniel H. Pink in DRIVE is the desire to get better and better at something. Therefore, Mastery is a process that one has to be motivated to engage in during their life. Since there will never be a point in our existence during which we’ll be perfect at anything the process of Mastery is never ending like that song they used to sing at the end of Lamb Chop’s Play- Along (I know, now it is in your head. You’re welcome!).

Not everyone feels the way that Daniel and I do about Mastery. I learned that this weekend but I’m not budging. If there was a point at which we could master things then I feel like we’d abandon our capacity for learning more often than we should and that, in my humble opinion, is super dangerous.

Pink says that Mastery is three things:
1. A mindset.
2. A pain.
3. An asymptote.

1. You have to believe that you can actually increase your intellect and talent. You must have a growth mindset. “I can learn.” Some people feel that they were born with all of the capacity they will ever have while others feel that practicing and working hard can increase their strength in a given area or in performing a certain task.
2. It is really hard to master something. It takes all of your resources. Depending on what it is, it might actually take your blood, sweat, and tears. If you think about someone you call “The Best”, think about all they must have gone through to deserve that title. Think about how many times they must have failed along the way and still they work to achieve. This takes a lot of courage. It is brave.
3. Uh, so I forgot what this was because I have suppressed everything I learned in math class due to PTSD. Kidding, but really, I don’t do the math. The a-word is a straight line that a curve approaches but never quite reaches. In essence, mastery plays hard to get with us all. We can get real close but never actually achieve it. I mean, we’re pretty good at chasing things we can’t have, right?

Mastery is a motivator. We want to get better at things. When we see that we’re making progress we want to get even better. This cycle goes on and on and on and on…till the break of dawn?! Okay, perhaps but I mean I wouldn’t recommend pulling all-nighters on a regular basis. However, do you.

“We fail to realize that mastery is not about perfection. It’s about a process, a journey. The master is the one who stays on the path day after day, year after year. The master is the one who is willing to try, and fail, and try again, for as long as he or she lives.” -George Bernard Shaw

It’s hard to stay invested in something if no matter how hard you work you don’t feel like you’re making progress. The harder thing is feeling forced to do something in which you don’t really care to pursue mastery. If you don’t really care about making progress then you probably won’t deliver your A-Game or even your B-Game and I mean, please don’t subject anyone to your C-Game.

There are a few things on my “I’d Really Love To Get Better at This List”:
1. Speaking
2. Blogging
3. Barre3
4. Self-promotion

These are the things that I’m actually investing effort into Mastering…there are a ton of other things I SHOULD be working on but to be honest I don’t genuinely want to. I’m still figuring out how to be an adult. Budgeting, supervision, having tact, romantic relationships/dating–like actually going on one…the little things ;). Gotta find that motivation–perhaps the next time a cat sets up shop on my doormat that’ll do the trick.

What are you attempting to Master these days?
Do you believe that Mastery can actually be achieved?

Oh, and read DRIVE. It is pretty great.

Later Y’all

Put Yourself Out There…NOW!

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I am reminded after I do a public speaking engagement that I’m not the only one who enjoys hearing myself speak. Kidding! Like most people, I cringe at hearing my recorded voice. It never sounds like that sound should be coming out of my body.

I have a passion for speaking/presenting/facilitating and anything that aligns with education through verbal communication. I have this pipe dream of having my face on a tour bus while I promote my book, blog, and at every stop I share a message with the masses. Yes, I know the face on a tour bus is a bit much. Let me live.

Fortunately, I’ve been invited/hired to do this type of work with college students and student affairs professionals since my time in graduate school. Clearly, I want to do more and I want what I do to get better.

put yourself out there

In my ever pressing effort to BE BRAVE I sent out a series of emails to people within my network in an effort to pursue opportunities. These emails were first steps in the revived “Invest in Krystal” plan.

Thankfully, I’ve received some positive responses. I stick to a pretty consistent email format:

1. I only inquire about opportunities that align with my personal values. I’ve narrowed down my focus and I know the areas in which I want to have the greatest influence.
2. Because I haven’t seen or spoken to some of my contacts in a while, I take a couple of sentences to reintroduce myself and remind them of how we met.
3. If we’re social media friends, I mention a life instance they posted such as congratulating them on marriage, babies, new haircuts, family vacation, or cool concerts, etc.
4. I’m very direct about why I’m emailing and the intended outcome. Phone call? Opportunities to volunteer? Informational Interview? Advice? In-person meeting? Paid opportunities?
5. Describe my passion for the role at hand.
6. List a few recent experiences in specified area.
7. Resume
8. Thank You!

Once they respond, I follow up immediately to get a date on the calendar or to confirm my interest.

I love public speaking but I’m certainly not perfect and don’t have this art nailed down just yet. So, while I’m sending out feelers into the world, I’m also strength training my big ‘ol mouth :).

Saturday, I’m attending a public speaking workshop led by Heidi Petak called Faithful to Speak and I’m strongly considering investing in a much costly opportunity that will occur in December. I’ve got to take advantage of opportunities to engage in development. If I’m not willing to invest in myself, who will?

brene

I figure if I want to pursue this then there is no time like the present and as with most things, what have I got to lose? This is work but it is work I love and I’ve never walked off a platform and felt wrong or like I did something against my nature. Instead, I feel empowered, motivated, confident, and like I’ve used my gifts for a purpose. I’m also mentally exhausted but it has never felt better. It is also the moment when I feel the most vulnerable and the most authentic. No worries, I’m also a huge ball of nerves and like a hug or a big laugh to calm me down before I make my way into the spotlight. What is millions of people’s greatest fear is my biggest thrill. Rollercoaster, take a hike! I’m giving a speech!

If anything, I would encourage you to reach out and communicate with those people/organizations that you believe in that can help you achieve your dreams. What’s the worse that can happen? You won’t get a response?! Well, then you’re in the same place you are now–you’ve lost nothing. It’s hard to put yourself out there but if you never do then that dream will just be that, a far off vision –a castle in the sky without any foundation. Build the foundation! It gets harder to pursue those magical unicorns as you get more comfortable and as your life sprouts more responsibility.

I’m excited for the opportunities ahead during the remaining days of summer and Fall 2014. I’m going to keep putting myself out there and pursuing mastery as if plays hard to get with me for the rest of my life (such a tease!).

So, what do you need to put on your “Invest in [Insert Name Here]” to-do list?

– Make a list of contacts.
– Research outlets in your area.
– Set up a meeting.
– Make a phone call.
– Send an email.
– Take a class.
– Register for a workshop.
– Gather a group of your friends for feedback.
– Book studio time.
– Post a comment to a blog.
– Start that blog.
– Go to rehearsal.
– Read a book.
– Spend time at a co-working space or office to knock out some tasks.

Pull out your planner or that phone calendar gadget app thingy (I’m still a paper/pen girl) and create a plan of action.

You might be surprised what you get back from the universe. If nothing else, you are demonstrating incredible love for and belief in yourself. That’s a strong message and I applaud you for that investment.

I’ll keep you posted on my progress.

Later Y’all!

Tampa?!

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Dish Tampa

Plant Tampa

Tampa did way more for me than I expected. Great work was done in that city over the course of three days. Sometimes you just have to get away from all the static. I’ll tell you more about it tomorrow but for now just check out these pics. This castle in the sky and my life’s hope in this dish. I can’t even tell you how happy I was to bump into this city.

Later Y’all.

Ah-Ha!

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Yesterday was one of those days that made me feel so full. God was finally like, “okay, little child, it is time for you to get off my back, I’ve got something just for you”. It was a day of things that I love and gave me the ability to shine as only Krystal Clark can. It was a day of things that made me feel like I have a place in my city and my profession. I adored this day.

My moment of “best self” is when you give me a room of people that want to learn. A place in which people want to grow and “do better” for themselves or the people around them. Eager professionals who have open eyes, alert ears, and full hearts. I can even sway the most tough minded old goat with a few jokes and a nerdy observation. I’m a flash of color in what could be seen as another dull black/white Tuesday. I don’t often need a microphone because God gave me this megaphone of a voice for a reason. My obsession with reading has provided me with mounds of knowledge to share with the masses and fuel to create my own theories that guide how I shape and reframe my work. My mama raised me to understand how to connect and chat with a tree if it showed up in my living room. In those moments when I’m moving from side to side in a room because there isn’t any way that I can stay still behind some crippling podium, I finally have an understanding as to why God assembled me the way he did back in April of ’83. All of what makes me “me” finally comes together and I am the best version of Krystal.

The other part of my day was spent engaging with students who are about to transfer into my institution. These students started their college career elsewhere and didn’t find the home they were looking for so they are trying again with great courage and gigantic hope to find the place where they truly belong and will help them realize their best self. I applaud them for not settling. I applaud them for trying again. I fell in love with all of them and the glow that I felt through Skype and through the phone as they articulated their hopes and dreams for the next leg of the collegiate journey. I laughed, shared stories, alleviated fears, did some consulting on possible student organizations to join, clutched at my heart when they went to a vulnerable place, and realized in a small conference room that what I do matters. It has a purpose. I want to wrap ourselves around these students and let them know that they’ve finally found home and I’m not going to let you down. I’ll be your family.

I made Bigfoot sized steps on my way to forgiveness. A person who tore my heart up was there for me when I needed support. I have lots of nerves before I speak and was really psyching myself out upon my arrival to campus but when I looked over from my parked car there was a funny face that had to be laughed at in a belly deep sort of fashion. My nerves melted and I was amped to get on with the show. I realized that one reason that I was in so much pain is because I lost a person that could affect me in that way. Those people are rare and when you find one you have to be okay with fighting to keep them in your world. I don’t enjoy losing friends and that’s what we were meant to be and I’m a million times closer to full acceptance of that fact then I’ve ever been before and this, my friends, is a blessing straight from the Big Man. Hallelujah!

I love those golden moments when it all comes together. When you finally catch sight of the bigger picture. Confusions become clear and the “ah-ha” materializes before your eyes. The journey, the struggle, and that trust process are worth that moment. Fact.

confusions

The Lord and I werked that day. I am doing nothing but looking forward to the rest of this week. I can’t say that I’ve felt that way in a long time.

Later Y’all.

Cross The Street

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Sometimes, a girl forgets to look both ways…

crossswalk 2

I love country music. I mean, I sit and sink myself into it like a warm bath after a hard day. I’ve loved it since right before middle school. I went to summer day camp and each week we’d head to the bowling alley on the military base. The following people attended the bowling alley: soldiers, government workers, families of the two, and us–a bunch of kids who ate all the french fries and were awful bowlers. I mean, we still used bumpers and would become quite disinterested after 2 games. As is true now, military folks love them some country music and that’s what was playing every time we went to bowl. After a couple of times, I figured out that I no longer wanted to make fun of this music. I wanted to own this music.

Names like Shania, Faith, Tim, Garth, Trisha, Martina, Leanne, Travis, Allen, Gary, Brooks & Dunn, Rascal Flatts, SheDaisy, Sara, Deanna, and Teri, etc. entered my life and haven’t left. Fast forward 20 years and I live in Nashville. Foreshadowing is something special, ain’t it?

They lyric above is from a song I heard at the Listening Room Café on Friday. Singer: Marion Grace–she’s got chops. She gives me Faith Hill in her heyday and Lord, do I love me some Faith Hill. The words caught me off guard.

Sometimes, a girl forgets to look both ways… How many times have you forgotten to look both ways? Remember those times you just walked directly into “traffic” with no care for what was coming for you? Maybe you even closed your eyes and just stepped right in?

Now, don’t get me wrong because this isn’t always disastrous. You could cross the street at the perfect time–that peaceful pause when the stoplights decide to slow the world down and there is no chaos for you on your journey to the other side.

The song was sad. The context of a relationship that you ran into heart first without any care as to what might happen, what could happen, and the abrupt pain when it in fact did happen. You heard the impending sirens but you marched onward with more hope than can float. Uh, I mean, no one’s ever done that, right?!

Who would we be if we always looked both ways? If we were always cautious and rule followers, where would we actually end up? Often the moments when you learn the most are those traffic jams, when the brakes screech to a halt and you know that you have no choice but to get out of the way. The aftermath, the clean-up, the apologies, the way your heart beats from fear, confusion, and being more alive than you’ve ever been. Deep down you’re proud of who you are and what you’ve become when you leave the scene in one piece–a bit battered and bruised but ALIVE.

We think to the point of exhaustion and paralysis. We create more drama in our lives than actually exists. Done is better than perfect. Cross the street. Get out there. Look or don’t look–those are your options. Pick one and get on with it.

mistakes

Oh and remember, keep a little country music at your side for motivation.

Ready to Run

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I just completed my third year at my current job. LinkedIn confirmed it for me. I stayed at my last job for four years…one year too long. I was at my undergrad for four years, grad school for two years, and the first 18 years of my life were spent in one place, my hometown. However, four of those years were high school, three middle school, four elementary school, and two primary school.

I was dying to get out of my first job by year three. Couldn’t wait to blow that Popsicle stand called high school by year 3.5, and was bursting for the next step after college. Three is my edge and by year four I have jumped off the cliff.

Eek! Am I a runner?

This pattern explains why I’ve been getting the itch lately. The itch to explore, the itch to roam, the itch to pack my bags and head off into the sunset with my diplomas and dresses in tow. Suddenly, Ready to Run by the Dixie Chicks, enters my head. Oh, btw I LOVE them and don’t care one poop what they said about GWB. #merica that!

My coworker gave me a book about finding my way and I think it was just one more sign that I’ve got to take some time to explore that next step.

My dream: An office of my very own where I am able to read, write, develop, create, counsel, and teach. Self-directed creative freedom. Ample time to be in my educator sweet spot. Speaking to people and sharing lessons. Travel to new cities. Consistent blogging. Perhaps writing a book and/or guest columns. No extraneous bullshit! Either, I’d work for myself or work at an institution ( I still love college) with a supervisor that gets me and let’s me run with scissors. Student and professional development. All these things give me life.

This is what I dream about and now I have to make it happen. I am certainly going to have to make some trade offs in order to do so.

I also need to pray.

I didn’t ever want to be seen as a runner or a quitter but at this point. As I bump into year four, I am starting to think that might be the best thing for me. Perhaps by running away, I will find another place where I belong.

OR

Maybe I have this all wrong and this Year Four has started to ask questions that I can’t answer. Should I buy a house? Where’s Mr. Right? When are you going to start acting like an adult?

If I could answer those then I might not want to run.

OR

I’m just overreacting and will be fine by Friday.

Fingers crossed.

Hmm…

I know that God is going to make all these mountains move and I will be more than pleased, if not immediately then certainly in the future, with what He reveals.

Until then, I’m exploring and keeping my running shoes ready for when He tells me to move.

Later Y’all!

Krystal at 13 is pretty much Krystal at 31.

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Recently, a co-worker of mine asked me to send her “things I would have told my younger self” for In Earnest.

Younger Krystal was a pretty boring individual. I lived in my own world which rarely made since to anyone around me. I was and still am a nerd, a goody-two-shoe, and an overachiever. I just wanted my mom to be proud of me. I was a pretty good natured people-pleaser who was Star Citizen every year in grade school. However, when I look back and really think about my childhood I was bullied until high school and had major racial identity issues. It gets a bit confusing when people continuously call you and Oreo or tell you that you’re the whitest black girl they’ve ever met. I grew up in a strict household and created my own adventures. To be honest, I’m not sure that I really liked myself until around 10th grade. Strange, right? or maybe not strange but certainly sad. Different wasn’t always acceptable and I don’t think that until I moved away from home that I realized I wasn’t too different from lots of other people. I just didn’t fit in Portsmouth, VA. I belonged but I didn’t fit.

eecummings

Here’s what I sent to Laura. I don’t think any of it was published but I thought it was reflective enough for me to post here for your perusal. I certainly wanted to keep it someplace for posterity.

I would tell myself that “no” is not a bad word. In fact, it is one of the strongest words that we have the capacity to use in the English language. A good intentional “no” can change your entire world whether you’re on the giving end or the receiving end. It might sting but it’ll be okay. You’ll be told “no” or you’ll say “no” a lot in your life and whenever you get up the nerve, you should totally use it.

SAVE YOUR MONEY!!! –That’s just a great habit that I never quite picked up :/.

I would tell myself to forgive my father. As I’ve gotten older, forgiveness has gotten easier in some ways and harder in others. Conversations between a man and a woman are a whole lot more complicated than those between a girl and a man. It would have been simpler when I was younger. Just call him or tell your mother you want to see him and talk it out with him. Things happened. Everyone makes mistakes but he still really loves you. Forgive and figure out the next steps. Don’t be afraid. You don’t want to have to still deal with “father issues” when you’re 31. It ain’t worth it. Daddy issues are awful! It has made me make men into an overwhelming obstacle. I don’t trust them with my heart. Reason #875 that I’m single. I know, I know, THERAPY!

I would tell myself to be okay with NOT fitting in with the rest of my environment. Preparing myself for that and accepting this piece about myself would have made growing up a whole lot easier. My brother and I were quite bi-cultural due to the two very different environments we had to navigate as African American children who spent time in the hood and the ‘burbs. That piece of our life has proven helpful but it can also be disorienting and sets you up for some hard times in figuring out your “place” in a given situation. Adaptability is important but assimilation is not. You don’t have to lose yourself in your efforts to not stick out like a sore thumb. Instead, use your gifts and watch how others are drawn to you.

I would tell myself that I’m beautiful. I would scream that at myself repeatedly. Blonde hair and blue eyes aren’t the only way to be beautiful in this world. I would tell myself to eat during grades 6-9. I would not hesitate to take my chocolate skin out into the sun and I would smile like my life depended on it.

ugly ducklings

I would tell myself that all of the things my mother kept me from doing was super great parenting and that I would greatly appreciate them in the future. She was strict –super strict and I think it made all the difference.

I would tell myself to just relax because all of those Caucasian musical artists that you really want to see in concert but can’t because you’re mom thinks it’s weird that you’ll be able to see them in Nashville in your late 20s and early 30s. Seeing Fiona Apple at The Ryman was a dream come true. Hearing Deanna Carter sing “Strawberry Wine” at Bridgestone Arena brought back so many Governors’ School memories. I would’ve like to have know that there would be a 90s cover band that would make my soul happy.

I would high-five myself for the following:
– Not having sex in Middle School and High School.
– Going to senior prom all by myself.
– Getting up the nerve to tell the mean girl that she could no longer cheat off my paper.
– Being a kick-ass cheerleader and salutatorian.
– Reading all the time.
– Learning how to use my voice and my words instead of my fists to defend myself.
– That amazing summer in Lynchburg, VA at Governor’s School which was when I think I discovered my confidence, beauty, and power.

I would give myself the stink eye for the following:
– Sometimes being the mean girl to others.
– Often being the mean girl to myself.
– Not being the best student leader that I could have been in various organizations.
– Putting way too much pressure on myself to succeed.
– Thinking that I was much better than the people around me.

It’s weird but you really are the person you’re going to be quite early in life. My issues haven’t changed and I’m still good at the same things. I still have the same foundation at 31 that I had at 13. For the most part, I think I quoted over 90% in a previous post, I love myself and all of my stuff.

What advice would you give your younger self?

Later Y’all.

Summer is Here!! Part 2: The Work Edition

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I work at a university and fortunately, I get the summer months off from my clients aka my students. I adore them BUT we all need a break from each other and this May-August split is cherished.

My previous post was about my various Nashville/US adventures BUT I still have to work. I have A LOT of work to get done this summer before the youngsters return and invade my world in only the way they can do so.

I have a summer to-do list about as long as the Mississippi River and I have to squeeze it all in around my vacation time and general periods of that feeling I call “I don’t want to do work! Wahhh!” I can’t be the only one that suffers from that condition, correct?

every single day

It is practically June. Yes, June! Deal with it.

Here’s my next steps to success:
1. Refine the list. Currently it is on multiple sheets of paper in three different notebooks and on my computer. I have to make the list practical and manageable. What do I actually need to get done to accomplish my office’s and my goals? What can I reasonably accomplish this summer? What projects can I complete by just taking them off the list? I love that Arianna Huffington has introduced that notion into our world. Check out this video of her discussing “Thrive” with Marie Forleo. Also, just check out Marie Forleo. She’s fantastic and MarieTV is perfect lunchtime professional and personal development.

2. Prioritize my priorities. Just because it is on the list doesn’t mean it has to happen ASAP. There are things that I could push off until July or the beginning of August. A timeline will be super helpful. Deadlines are a MUST! I don’t function well without them. I can then plop all of this information on my calendar. If it’s on my calendar, there is a 97% chance that it will happen. I often print out a template calendar and write it all old school with a pen on a sheet of paper. I’ll then transfer it to my Outlook Calendar.

3. Accountability is so necessary. I will share the list and the calendar with my staff and my supervisor. They can then know what to expect of me this summer and what to hold me accountable for this season. During my 1:1 meetings with my boss, I will use this list as the agenda for our meeting. It is also important that I don’t allow him to keep refilling up my plate with things that are not essential for my or my office’s success. Exploring all options and saying “no” is powerful because if I”m not careful, my list will grow longer and longer.

4. Be okay that everything may not happen this summer and keep plugging away into the fall. If it’s important then it’ll happen. The goal is not to beat myself up but to do the most best essential work I can this summer.

To make everything happen I’m going to have to design and create time and space to focus on the projects at hand.

1. I have to step away from my desk and often my office. I have a table in my office that allows me to think in a more creative and open manner. I don’t know what it is about the table but I am able to sit and stare at my blank whiteboard and then fill it with ideas and outlines for curriculum, workshops, or speeches that I need to write. I also work really well at Starbucks. I think it’s because I feel like College Krystal and that girl was a master at getting sh*t done. No one did it better. I may also hit up the campus library. Arriving to work before everyone else and working on Sundays is also a move of mine when I have a lot to get done. Don’t worry, I’ll make up the weekend time during the week :).

2. Put time on my calendar to just be away. Close my door, leave the office, and just be creative and productive. I can’t let anyone usurp that time. It is mine! Back off! I already block off 3-4pm as Krystal, Inc. so I may just extend that time since I don’t have any student visitors during the summer.

3. I have to be okay with using time to think and not rushing through that process in order to just “do work”. I have a longing for using my creative abilities more at work and because my office was created from scratch, I have a lot of freedom to do just that.

4. Because I’ve packed my summer schedule to the brim, I’m going to have to be way more discriminating about whatever else I add to the list. Pretty sure unless it’s a weekend trip, I can’t leave town anymore than I already am at this time. Some of my weeknights might need to be spent on work. That’s the trade-off and trade-offs can’t be avoided.

What are your tips for getting things done during the summer?

Alright, so now I’m going to get off this blog and get some stuff done. Ready, set, go!

get shit done steps

Lata Y’all