Summer is Here!!!

Hey Y’all,

I’ve been quite a bum on this fine Memorial Day. My actions have been the total antithesis of the men and women for whom we celebrate on this special day. I’m the proud daughter, sister, and cousin of men who have served our country in the United States Army and the United States Air Force. I respect them greatly for their courage and sacrifice. I don’t have a relationship with my father but I will always be in awe that he served in the Vietnam War and in the Gulf War. My heart grows for him when I take that into account. I know that he’s seen a lot and done a lot to ensure that I’m able to live my life of freedom. For that, I am eternally grateful. We’ll work it out one day. I know God will see to that.

Memorial Day also marks the beginning of SUMMER! She has officially arrived.

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I made a list earlier in May of all the things I want to do this summer. Ahem! Drumroll please:

1. Drag Brunch at Suzy Wong’s House of Yum
2. The Zoo
3. Cheekwood
4. Belle Meade Plantation
5. The Peach Truck
6. Oz
7. Grand Ole Opry
8. Movie at Elmington Park
9. Full Moon Pickin’ Party–might become a fall activity?
10. Concert: Woods at Fontanel
11. 12th & Broad Events
12. Musician’s Corner
13. Movies at the Schermerhorn
14. Belcourt to see Belle
15. Visit to the Farmer’s Market
16. Intense sits on rooftops and patios
17. Johnny Cash Museum
18. POOL! –Already had 2 days in a row :).
19. Apparently, we have an arena football team?!

So far, so good. I’m excited to work my way through these items. I’m sure more will be added to the list as I catch up on the happenings of Nashville. I’ll also be taking trips to VA, GA, TX, and FL. Strong maybe on DE and later in the summer I’ll be off to WA.

As for music, I’ll see Katy Perry in June and Beyonce/Jay-Z in July. There are some others shows I’d like to add to this list including Sara Bareilles and JOHNNYSWIM.

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I do love the summer. It is a time to replenish. My skin looks great and my smile is bigger. People and time are more flexible. You get to see folks you haven’t seen in ages and the margaritas and my never ending collection of dresses are flowing.

I made a lot of mistakes last summer and did things that took a huge detour from my instincts. I’ve been paying for those mistakes ever since. It is now time for me to “let it go” and keep it moving. Pray for me in that endeavor. Forgiveness is hard, but it is what is commanded of me by my God.

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Cheers to the summer!

Later Y’all.

Local Levo & House of Stella

Levo Ladies Take Over House of Stella

Check out the following:
1. Levo League
2. Local Levo in your hood
3. House of Stella in Nashville, TN.

Instagram & Twitter: houseofstella

Addresses: Cool Springs 1709 Galleria Blvd., Suite 1007 (In the Cool Springs Target Shopping Center)
Franklin, TN 37067 ~ map

Nashville 1025 8th Ave. S
Nashville, TN 37203

Lovely mother/daughter duo. Enjoyed hearing their story and learning good tips for starting a business. They are women’s women and want to be helpful to entrepreneurs.

house of stella

Can’t wait to wear my new items or use my free infuser.

Support women owned businesses!

Later Y’all.

#tillthewheelsfalloff

At some point during 99.9% of my days I am asked the question, “How do you do so many things?” or someone makes the statement “You are everywhere.”

Here are some responses:
1. I make time for the things I want to do. Priorities, people!
2. What, do you expect me to just sit at home and watch Netflix? I mean, I do that occasionally, but I don’t think that’s the best way to live your life.
3. What do you do with your free time?
4. We live in Nashville! How are you NOT outside as much as possible?
5. I read, that’s how I know what’s going on in the city.

However, I realize that more and more of my galavanting around town has to do with my perpetual status as a single woman. When I say single, I mean single. I mean, I don’t have a houseplant and I certainly haven’t spent any of my disposable income on a cat or dog. I’m not into confinement so I will never own anything that needs me to take it on a poop walk. The day I have to choose between a Happy Hour and poop walk isn’t a day I look forward to. I go and come when I damn well please and for 99.9% of my days, I really LOVE this aspect of my life.

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Now, I’m a 31 year old woman born in Virginia and currently residing in Tennessee after a 4 year stint in North Carolina. I have no hopes of ever living above the Mason-Dixon line and I do enjoy the South. With that along with my humanity comes certain comments, observations, and feelings connected to my single nature. There are times that I have wondered, “What is wrong with me?”, “Why aren’t I consciously coupled?”, “Am I ever going to have children?”, “Will it be too late by the time I find someone who’s brave enough to marry and impregnate me?”, “Why don’t men like me?”,”Do I need to lose weight?” and my oft cited response when asked about my Party of 1 status, “Boys just don’t like me.” All of this starts the loathed cycle of,

– “You’re amazing.”
– “but, you’re so beautiful.”
– “You just haven’t found him yet but he’s out there.”
– “God has a plan for you.”
– “You’ve got to put yourself out there.”
-“I’m praying for you.”
-“You know my aunt didn’t get married until she was 34 and she’s so happy that she waited.”
-“Maybe the one isn’t in Nashville.”
– “Have you tried online dating.”
-“I wish I had someone to hook you up with on a date.”

SIGH! STOP IT! JUST ACCEPT THAT I’M SINGLE AND LET’S KEEP IT MOVING. I DIDN’T SHOW UP CRYING AND I DON’T NEED ANY PITY. I KNOW I’M AMAZING AND BEAUTIFUL. HE MAY NOT BE OUT THERE. DID YOU THINK ABOUT THAT? I’M NOT SURE WHAT YOU MEAN BY PUT MYSELF OUT THERE, SHOULD I STAND ON A BUSY STREET CORNER? PLEASE PRAY FOR ME FOR A MILLION OTHER REASONS. I CAN GIVE YOU A LIST OF MY PRAYER REQUESTS. I’M NOT YOUR CRAZY AUNT. I KNOW THAT GOD HAS A PLAN FOR ME. I HATE ONLINE DATING. I LIVE IN NASHVILLE AND AM NOT GOING ON SOME CARMEN SAN DIEGO GOOSE CHASE TO SEARCH FOR A MAN. YOU PROBABLY DO HAVE SOMEONE TO HOOK ME UP WITH BUT LET’S BE HONEST I’M BLACK, YOU’RE FRIENDS ARE WHITE, AND THIS IS THE SOUTH.

Now, that we’re done with that bit of a rant.

For whatever reason, God has made this a single season of my life. I figure that I just need to own it and take advantage of the benefits. One of those benefits is being where the f*ck I want to be whenever I want to be there and spending my money on whatever the f*ck I want to. BTW, I love Jesus and the F-word. He knows my heart.

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So, if you see me around town or the country loving my life and posting beautiful pictures (I’m really photogenic) on one my various social media outlets just know that my life without a leash affords me the ability to roam where I please. I don’t have to ask a soul to confirm my plans, I don’t have to lay out anyone’s clothes, I don’t have to hear anyone moan about how they don’t really like this band or don’t want to see the ballet, I don’t have to make a meal for anyone, I know whose car we’re taking, I don’t have to ask anyone if it’s okay to spend money from the joint account, I can pursue my dreams without taking someone else’s into account, and I don’t have to worry about in-laws coming to town. This is why I can “be everywhere” and do cool sh*it. It is ALWAYS my turn!

Women who mope because they aren’t in a relationship piss me off and women who constantly need to be in a relationship scare me. Women whose entire identity is wrapped up in their partner’s make me want to scream. To be honest, spending so much time alone has made me really fall in love with about 95% of Krystal. I am my best form of entertainment and I’m sociable enough that I make friends wherever I go. I laugh just as loud when I’m alone as I do when I’m surrounded by people.

Now, I’m not saying that if “the one” finds me or I find him depending on how The Big Guy wrote that in my official PLAN, that I won’t slow down or actually be content with a hot and heavy couch date. I have some friends with incredible marriages and there are days when I’d really like to have a permanent roommate or a partner in crime but until then, I’ve decided to ride this sucker till the wheels fall off! I’m free and frolicking in Nashville. Call me for a good time ;).

be in love with your life

Later Y’all!

What’s Your Brand? Part 1

BREAKING NEWS!

Perception matters. For all of those people out there not caring about what others think of them, just know that finding a job,obtaining a promotion, getting involved in community efforts, and just basic existing in life, might prove quite difficult. A brand strategist, Jami Dunham, stated in a recent presentation, “You have a brand whether by design or default.” Wouldn’t you rather be at the helm of the conversation?

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I had the privilege of spending time with a professor who broke down everyone’s brand in three parts: Pre-Presence, Presence, and Post Presence.

Pre-Presence: Before I meet you
Presence: The meeting
Post- Presence: After we meet

What makes up your Pre-Presence? Think of anything that gives people information about you before they meet you.

– Resume (past experiences, school, major, community involvement, and, honors/awards etc.)
– Emails including that pesky signature at the bottom
– Social Media
– Word of Mouth
– References/Letters of Recommendation
– Applications
– Phone conversations

People form a perception about who you are  from all of these items. I can learn a great deal about you in one swift Google search. By the way, have you Googled yourself lately?  I hadn’t Googled myself in a while but as part of s lecture, the person sitting next to me  had to look me up online. Eek! Luckily, I keep it classy and here’s what I thought post exercise:

1. I need to delete any social media accounts that I no longer use. What was the point of “We Heart It”? On the same note, if I use it then I need to keep outlets updated. I can’t keep throwing around my blog link if the last update was 6 months ago.

2. I should create a portfolio with all links associated with me including those for  interviews, writings, photos, presentations–there were things listed that I’d totally forgotten I’d done throughout my career.

3. An updated headshot can really do your profile some good.

4. If there is something I need to warn people about, then I need to be proactive and craft a response to any questions that might pop up in an interview about that image or text.  If you don’t want anyone to know about it, then don’t post it on social media. Ahem, depending on what it is, you might just not want to do it at all.

5. What I devote myself to professionally and in the community are on full display. I want people to see what I do because  that also informs them of what I value. Any potential employer needs to know what you value and vice versa. If those values aren’t in some way congruent, the working relationship won’t be fulfilling.

Perception is important. Fit is critical. Employers begin assessing your fit before you walk in the door.

Tips to Pre-Presence Success
– Get your resume tidied up by a professional or an acquaintance who’s spent a lot of time hiring others. Always keep your resume freshly updated. You never know when an opportunity is going to land in your inbox.

-Are your emails grammatically correct? Did you utilize the power of spell check? Have you found a way to appropriately insert your personality into all correspondence? According to the professor you should erase that “please forgive any typos line” because it makes readers feel as if their email isn’t significant.

-Make sure to return all phone calls in a timely manner and rehearse voicemail messages once or twice before you start rambling on the machine. Also, make sure that your outgoing voicemail message is up to date and appropriate. Personalize your outgoing message and please get rid of that ring back tone. I’m terrible at listening to voicemails and often my mailbox is full. Grr! Not a good pre-presence tactic.

-Letters of recommendation/references are out of your control once you request them so work to make sure that you’re choosing people that can provide the best feedback about you and your skills. For some, the “requirement” of having your current or most recent supervisor as a reference can be bothersome. Be prepared to cover that issue with your potential supervisor and give them a heads up about the  nature of your relationship with that person. Just know that if you don’t list your current or most recent supervisor, it will raise questions for your potential employer.

-Clean up your social media and/or put it on private. I monitor my social media very closely and I make sure that I don’t post anything that would cause people to question my character. My social media engagement has become a large and positive aspect of my brand.

-Word of mouth is still the most powerful determinant of Pre-Presence.  Be cognizant of what you’re putting out in the world because word travels fast. Most people don’t adhere to the list of references submitted by the applicant. Informal means of communication are regularly used to gather feedback on a candidate.

Hmm...think about potential employers as your customers. They talk to each other about you and essentially about your brand. What do you think they're saying about you?

Hmm…think about potential employers as your customers. They talk to each other about you and essentially about your brand. What do you think they’re saying about you?

I strongly encourage you to take some time and tighten up your Pre-Presence. What are the things floating out in the world that can assist others in forming an opinion of your brand? Make sure your Pre-Presence reflects you in a desired manner. First impressions aren’t just made in person. In 2015, my first impression of you is made quickly after a few clicks on your Facebook Page or a scroll through your Twitter feed. Make sure the results are in your favor.

Good Deal.

Greetings…

Long time no see…

Well, let’s just say that life as it often does, got the best of me and my blog fell to the bottom of my priority list. No apologies, just a statement of truth.

I am taking a bit of time to refocus my blog and center it around my current values system.

1. Education
2. Professional Development
3. Community Engagement
4. Faith
5. Personal Development

Fashion and cute little things will no longer be a part of the equation. Music will only be covered in connection with community engagement–I still live in Nashville. I want to concentrate on lessons learned and action steps. What? So what? Now what?

As I’m working on the launch, please follow me over on Tumblr at http://peculiarpearl.tumblr.com/. Follow my daily adventures and my new #100happydays journey.

So…are we cool again? I’ll get back to writing and you’ll get back to reading? Deal! Good Talk!

good deal

Photo Courtesy of http://www.leelacyd.com/.

Let the adventures begin!

In my previous blog, “Why Don’t I do that Anymore?” I listed that I wanted to go back to scouring the Internets for free adventures in Nashville. This is one reason that I adore this city. One can have lots of fun for a low cost.

After many attempts, the last resulting in a car fiasco, I made it to The Frist to see ’30 Americans’ and the Norman Rockwell exhibit. I’m still reeling from the art I had the privilege to view in Nashville.

Another bonus: I invited a long a new Nashville friend. Gotta love a good friend date.

Back to the art: ’30 Americans’ is thought provoking and that is an understatement. Regardless of what you might think, we don’t live in a Post Racial Society. That is, well, BS! Race matters and even though conversations about race are never easy, they are necessary. This exhibit is composed of 70 pieces of art by African American artists. These works of art explore the intersections of race, pop culture, gender, sexuality, class, and the impact those markers have on your identity.

I’ve spent a lot of my life discussing race and I don’t possess the privilege of not thinking about race. I don’t believe in color blindness. I know that my race has had an impact on the outcomes of my life whether good or bad. I want you to see my color and understand the oppression and the privilege that comes with my race. If you bypass that then you’ve missed an entire piece of my lived experience and can never fully know me.

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Some of the images are so startling and can almost bring you to tears. The sudden intake of breath as you round the corner to see a circle of Ku Klux Klan hoods sitting on stools with noose hanging from the ceiling. The unfortunate realization that painting an African American family at home behaving in an everyday manner is abnormal and a scene that most people don’t picture for Black families. The horror at visualizing what consumerism has done to the Black community, especially our Black males. These are not things that I didn’t know but, they are made even more apparent when presented in visual form.

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I also loved that The Frist took the time to make the exhibit interactive. Viewers could write their feelings on post-it notes. It was powerful to read people’s first reactions. I really loved when younger viewers were engaged in the conversation. I can imagine that this might have been a catalyst for a parent/guardian to begin having the “race” conversation.

I don’t really know that much about art but I enjoy the process of analyzing it and coming up with my personal meaning. I was recently given the advice to treat a museum like a cocktail party. When you go to a cocktail party, you can’t get to know EVERYONE. The best strategy is to take time to get to know 4-5 people. Do the same at an art museum. Connect with 4-5 pieces and not every work in the gallery. You’ll leave feeling like you learned a whole lot more than if you try to squeeze it all in on one visit.

Check out more information here.

After ’30 Americans’, Norman Rockwell didn’t really grasp my attention until I realized how progressive he was during the Civil Rights Movement. The three works, The Problem We All Live With, Southern Justice, and New Kids in the Neighborhood drew me into the display.

’30 Americans’ leaves Nashville on the 12th and I highly recommend it.

So happy I took this Nashville Adventure. Oh, it was free because I’m a Bank of America customer and select museums are free the first weekend of every month for BOA customers. Kinda cool, right?

Lata y’all!

What are you doing New Year’s Eve?

I haven’t had the best track record with NYE. In fact, it has been pretty awful until I moved to Nashville. When I was in college, I just chilled at home and waited for my mom to get back from church. I’d watch MTV bring in the New Year in Times Square and long for the day when I could go out and be a cast member in some fancy party with a fancy dress and kiss some fancy man at midnight. Even when I had a boyfriend in college, we never celebrated NYE together except by phone. Le sigh!

I moved to Durham, NC and spent one NYE at a bar party on a solo mission with the hopes of meeting new friends in town. That was kind of a bust but I was proud of myself for going in the first place. I spent another year at a fun dance party with good friends and even though I was surrounded by people, great music, and a money drop at midnight, I still felt quite alone. I don’t even remember what I did the other NYE’s I celebrated in NC. Must have been awful :(.

My first NYE in Nashville, my friend Erin was in town and we went to a My So-Called Band (90’s cover band) concert along with 2 of my Nashville friends, Tracy and Jenn. We also ate at a restaurant and had an experience that warranted us getting a free dinner from them a few weeks later. I had a blast! Mainly because I didn’t feel lonely and I was surrounded by music. My second NYE I spent at a house party with great people, fun music, a stacked bar, and it was pretty good. If you can, a house party is certainly the way to go. This year, to bring in 2014, I am going back to the My So-Called Band Concert because well, it beats anything else I’ve done thus far. It’s economical, predictably fun, and I’ll be with at least 2 people that I know and really like. I’ll also get to meet some new people and that never hurts. I won’t get a kiss at Midnight BUT for some reason the universe has decided that I’m not destined for NYE kisses. Deep sigh. I just hope that when I get my kisses, the kisses only meant for me, that they are AMAZING! The universe has some making up to do. Hmph!This is your year

Oh, well. I’m going to make myself look my most beautiful, be open to a fun time, and sing till my voice fails at the show. My goal for 2014 is to live my life out loud and in color so I’m guessing a concert is probably the best way to go.

I wonder if like every other holiday, we hype it up so much that it becomes stressful? Are we doing the right cool thing? What is the right cool thing? Do we have the best dress? We have to spend a crapton of money, right? Then make a resolution to get out of debt :/. We are blessed to celebrate a New Year and nothing should be stressful about that, right? Does it really matter what you do from 9pm-Midnight on the 31st or is it more important what you do on January 1 with this “fresh start”?

What are you doing New Year’s Eve?

Why Don’t I Do That Anymore?

As I’m working on rediscovering my happy I have reflected on things that used to make me happy that for some reason I don’t do anymore. I’m sure at the time I had reasons for stepping away from that activity BUT now I just can’t seem to remember (is that part of the old age?) .

Thing 1: ZUMBA!
Thing 2: Style blogging
Thing 3: Serve on the First Impressions Ministry at my church
Thing 4: Scour the Internets for FREE things to do in Nashville and do them whether in a group or on a solo mission.
Thing 5: Plan random friend outings/hang out with a now 17 year old who made me giggle

In 2014, I’m going to attempt to work these things back into my life. Small doses at first and then I’ll take an internal assessment on how these past happies fit into my current life.

Happy Chart

What are some things that have faded from your life that might give you a happiness boost this new year? As I think more about this I realize that I loved doing these things because they made me love myself more. I liked me better when I was doing these things. Hmm…

Later Y’all.

2014 will be different, right?

Thanks Thought Catalog for providing another must-read list. As we move closer to 2014 most of us are starting to think about what we’re going to do differently this time around the block. The post “24 Rules for Being A Human Being in 2014” just might provide some desired guidance.

I decided to do a little self assessment to see which of these areas I want to concentrate on for the year 2014. I think I’d totally set myself up for failure if I vowed to work on all 24 items.

Here are my 6 Focus Rules:
1. Learn to be okay with not being okay.
5. Realize that perspective determines everything.
9. Be radically, sincerely honest. Be shocked at how deeply you can connect with people when you are.
17. Understand that letting go and moving on means very humbly and slowly gesturing in the direction of which you’d like to reach.
22. Stop shaming yourself for doing things that are perfectly, normally human, but happen to be deemed imperfect in society.
24. Reach out to people, open your heart, and watch how eagerly they jump in and do the same.

My true test for a few of these will be my trip home to VA tomorrow. Living away from home often leads me to not share the reality of my life until I absolutely have to do so. I just don’t want my family to worry. Usually, my life isn’t this topsy turvy. I promise, I’m pretty steady, but the last 6 months have really thrown me for a loop.

All of these rules involve getting in touch with my feelings. I haven’t always been a “feeler” or at least that’s what I’ve tricked myself into believing BUT let’s be honest, I have a big heart that I’ve constructed a wall around and the “older” I get the weaker the wall becomes. Ick! I guess I could rebuild the wall but then I might as well purchase that cat and get a hysterectomy while I’m at it.

2014

2014 can only be better if I decide I want it to be better. Decisions need to be made and I’m the only one that can make them. Exhale!

Later Y’all. Merry Christmas. Happy Holidays.