Ah-Ha!

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Yesterday was one of those days that made me feel so full. God was finally like, “okay, little child, it is time for you to get off my back, I’ve got something just for you”. It was a day of things that I love and gave me the ability to shine as only Krystal Clark can. It was a day of things that made me feel like I have a place in my city and my profession. I adored this day.

My moment of “best self” is when you give me a room of people that want to learn. A place in which people want to grow and “do better” for themselves or the people around them. Eager professionals who have open eyes, alert ears, and full hearts. I can even sway the most tough minded old goat with a few jokes and a nerdy observation. I’m a flash of color in what could be seen as another dull black/white Tuesday. I don’t often need a microphone because God gave me this megaphone of a voice for a reason. My obsession with reading has provided me with mounds of knowledge to share with the masses and fuel to create my own theories that guide how I shape and reframe my work. My mama raised me to understand how to connect and chat with a tree if it showed up in my living room. In those moments when I’m moving from side to side in a room because there isn’t any way that I can stay still behind some crippling podium, I finally have an understanding as to why God assembled me the way he did back in April of ’83. All of what makes me “me” finally comes together and I am the best version of Krystal.

The other part of my day was spent engaging with students who are about to transfer into my institution. These students started their college career elsewhere and didn’t find the home they were looking for so they are trying again with great courage and gigantic hope to find the place where they truly belong and will help them realize their best self. I applaud them for not settling. I applaud them for trying again. I fell in love with all of them and the glow that I felt through Skype and through the phone as they articulated their hopes and dreams for the next leg of the collegiate journey. I laughed, shared stories, alleviated fears, did some consulting on possible student organizations to join, clutched at my heart when they went to a vulnerable place, and realized in a small conference room that what I do matters. It has a purpose. I want to wrap ourselves around these students and let them know that they’ve finally found home and I’m not going to let you down. I’ll be your family.

I made Bigfoot sized steps on my way to forgiveness. A person who tore my heart up was there for me when I needed support. I have lots of nerves before I speak and was really psyching myself out upon my arrival to campus but when I looked over from my parked car there was a funny face that had to be laughed at in a belly deep sort of fashion. My nerves melted and I was amped to get on with the show. I realized that one reason that I was in so much pain is because I lost a person that could affect me in that way. Those people are rare and when you find one you have to be okay with fighting to keep them in your world. I don’t enjoy losing friends and that’s what we were meant to be and I’m a million times closer to full acceptance of that fact then I’ve ever been before and this, my friends, is a blessing straight from the Big Man. Hallelujah!

I love those golden moments when it all comes together. When you finally catch sight of the bigger picture. Confusions become clear and the “ah-ha” materializes before your eyes. The journey, the struggle, and that trust process are worth that moment. Fact.

confusions

The Lord and I werked that day. I am doing nothing but looking forward to the rest of this week. I can’t say that I’ve felt that way in a long time.

Later Y’all.

That time my dress didn’t fit…

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Apparently, I’ve gained weight.

I have gained weight. I mean, fine. That’s been happening my whole life. I’ll always be a bit more to love BUT I don’t want this to get out of hand. Health is important. Love your curves but not to your death. I’ve got to begin making healthier choices. That is what this is about and not a quest to be skinny. I’m beautiful. I get it.

How do I know I’ve gained weight. Some of the dresses don’t fit and that is just an abomination and makes my stomach hurt. Seriously?! I love them all.

So, I need to make some promises to myself. In February, I went the entire month without drinking Coke. That hasn’t lasted and now I’m back to my late night $1.00 McDonald’s Coca-Colas. I mean, they have to be putting illegal drugs into that machine. If it isn’t Coke, it’s sweet tea. The nectar of the South.

Promise 1: No more soda this month. Okay, one last one tonight at dinner then no more. Water! Water! Water!
Promise 2: No more chicken biscuits for breakfast. Hey! Don’t judge me. They are magical. Chic-Fil-A or McDonalds…hmm!
Promise 3: Limit my white bread intake. I LOVE bread and I really love biscuits. Wheat/multi-grain or none at all for as many dining occasions as possible.
Promise 4: More fruit. Less candy. My office is full of candy. The students are gone so now I have to eat it :).
Promise 5: Keep working out at least 3 days a week. Barre3 has been great and perhaps I should hit up more cardio options. It is too hot to always be outside. The gym just isn’t calling my name right now but I need a cardio machine. One of my strange goals is to run the Girls on the Run Nashville 5K next year. Hmm…
Promise 6: Don’t stop working out during your travels.

Alright. Exhale. I can do this. Nothing extreme. Just better choices. I’m a visual person so this is now hanging in my office.

calendar

Pray for me.

Later Y’all.

Cross The Street

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Sometimes, a girl forgets to look both ways…

crossswalk 2

I love country music. I mean, I sit and sink myself into it like a warm bath after a hard day. I’ve loved it since right before middle school. I went to summer day camp and each week we’d head to the bowling alley on the military base. The following people attended the bowling alley: soldiers, government workers, families of the two, and us–a bunch of kids who ate all the french fries and were awful bowlers. I mean, we still used bumpers and would become quite disinterested after 2 games. As is true now, military folks love them some country music and that’s what was playing every time we went to bowl. After a couple of times, I figured out that I no longer wanted to make fun of this music. I wanted to own this music.

Names like Shania, Faith, Tim, Garth, Trisha, Martina, Leanne, Travis, Allen, Gary, Brooks & Dunn, Rascal Flatts, SheDaisy, Sara, Deanna, and Teri, etc. entered my life and haven’t left. Fast forward 20 years and I live in Nashville. Foreshadowing is something special, ain’t it?

They lyric above is from a song I heard at the Listening Room Café on Friday. Singer: Marion Grace–she’s got chops. She gives me Faith Hill in her heyday and Lord, do I love me some Faith Hill. The words caught me off guard.

Sometimes, a girl forgets to look both ways… How many times have you forgotten to look both ways? Remember those times you just walked directly into “traffic” with no care for what was coming for you? Maybe you even closed your eyes and just stepped right in?

Now, don’t get me wrong because this isn’t always disastrous. You could cross the street at the perfect time–that peaceful pause when the stoplights decide to slow the world down and there is no chaos for you on your journey to the other side.

The song was sad. The context of a relationship that you ran into heart first without any care as to what might happen, what could happen, and the abrupt pain when it in fact did happen. You heard the impending sirens but you marched onward with more hope than can float. Uh, I mean, no one’s ever done that, right?!

Who would we be if we always looked both ways? If we were always cautious and rule followers, where would we actually end up? Often the moments when you learn the most are those traffic jams, when the brakes screech to a halt and you know that you have no choice but to get out of the way. The aftermath, the clean-up, the apologies, the way your heart beats from fear, confusion, and being more alive than you’ve ever been. Deep down you’re proud of who you are and what you’ve become when you leave the scene in one piece–a bit battered and bruised but ALIVE.

We think to the point of exhaustion and paralysis. We create more drama in our lives than actually exists. Done is better than perfect. Cross the street. Get out there. Look or don’t look–those are your options. Pick one and get on with it.

mistakes

Oh and remember, keep a little country music at your side for motivation.

Ready to Run

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I just completed my third year at my current job. LinkedIn confirmed it for me. I stayed at my last job for four years…one year too long. I was at my undergrad for four years, grad school for two years, and the first 18 years of my life were spent in one place, my hometown. However, four of those years were high school, three middle school, four elementary school, and two primary school.

I was dying to get out of my first job by year three. Couldn’t wait to blow that Popsicle stand called high school by year 3.5, and was bursting for the next step after college. Three is my edge and by year four I have jumped off the cliff.

Eek! Am I a runner?

This pattern explains why I’ve been getting the itch lately. The itch to explore, the itch to roam, the itch to pack my bags and head off into the sunset with my diplomas and dresses in tow. Suddenly, Ready to Run by the Dixie Chicks, enters my head. Oh, btw I LOVE them and don’t care one poop what they said about GWB. #merica that!

My coworker gave me a book about finding my way and I think it was just one more sign that I’ve got to take some time to explore that next step.

My dream: An office of my very own where I am able to read, write, develop, create, counsel, and teach. Self-directed creative freedom. Ample time to be in my educator sweet spot. Speaking to people and sharing lessons. Travel to new cities. Consistent blogging. Perhaps writing a book and/or guest columns. No extraneous bullshit! Either, I’d work for myself or work at an institution ( I still love college) with a supervisor that gets me and let’s me run with scissors. Student and professional development. All these things give me life.

This is what I dream about and now I have to make it happen. I am certainly going to have to make some trade offs in order to do so.

I also need to pray.

I didn’t ever want to be seen as a runner or a quitter but at this point. As I bump into year four, I am starting to think that might be the best thing for me. Perhaps by running away, I will find another place where I belong.

OR

Maybe I have this all wrong and this Year Four has started to ask questions that I can’t answer. Should I buy a house? Where’s Mr. Right? When are you going to start acting like an adult?

If I could answer those then I might not want to run.

OR

I’m just overreacting and will be fine by Friday.

Fingers crossed.

Hmm…

I know that God is going to make all these mountains move and I will be more than pleased, if not immediately then certainly in the future, with what He reveals.

Until then, I’m exploring and keeping my running shoes ready for when He tells me to move.

Later Y’all!

What’s your Life Verse?

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Life Verse

Last Sunday, Pastor of Church of the City, Darren Whitehead (@DarrenWhitehead), blessed us at Cross Point Church in Nashville, TN and spoke about his “Life Verse”.

I’d never heard of a person having a Life Verse. The verse that really guides the way you live. This is the verse that you return to time and time again to center yourself and regain your focus on God. Okay. I started searching my brain for the verse that has become most salient for me and I realized that I already had a Life Verse. Matthew 17:20 has been my all-time favorite scripture for years. My mom used to mutter “mustard seed” when things got tough in life and I realized that she was referring to this verse every time.

“For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to the mountain, ‘move from here to there’, and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.”

Tell me that ain’t amazing! God is so good. Faith as small as a mustard seed can move the biggest mountains. Nothing shall be impossible in His name. I cry just thinking about it.

If you don’t have a Life Verse, that’s totally fine. Keep listening to the Word and one day a verse will hit you deep. That’s the one to hold on to. There’s a lot happening in The Bible–I mean, who needs reality TV? If you can find that one place you can go back to in the midst of it all, that’ll hold you to Him and to His word.

Fortunately, my sweet friend and colleague James, painted the above picture of my Life Verse for my 31st Birthday. It means a great deal to me and I enjoy having a daily reminder of Matthew 17:20.

Later Y’all. Enjoy the weekend :).

Krystal at 13 is pretty much Krystal at 31.

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Recently, a co-worker of mine asked me to send her “things I would have told my younger self” for In Earnest.

Younger Krystal was a pretty boring individual. I lived in my own world which rarely made since to anyone around me. I was and still am a nerd, a goody-two-shoe, and an overachiever. I just wanted my mom to be proud of me. I was a pretty good natured people-pleaser who was Star Citizen every year in grade school. However, when I look back and really think about my childhood I was bullied until high school and had major racial identity issues. It gets a bit confusing when people continuously call you and Oreo or tell you that you’re the whitest black girl they’ve ever met. I grew up in a strict household and created my own adventures. To be honest, I’m not sure that I really liked myself until around 10th grade. Strange, right? or maybe not strange but certainly sad. Different wasn’t always acceptable and I don’t think that until I moved away from home that I realized I wasn’t too different from lots of other people. I just didn’t fit in Portsmouth, VA. I belonged but I didn’t fit.

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Here’s what I sent to Laura. I don’t think any of it was published but I thought it was reflective enough for me to post here for your perusal. I certainly wanted to keep it someplace for posterity.

I would tell myself that “no” is not a bad word. In fact, it is one of the strongest words that we have the capacity to use in the English language. A good intentional “no” can change your entire world whether you’re on the giving end or the receiving end. It might sting but it’ll be okay. You’ll be told “no” or you’ll say “no” a lot in your life and whenever you get up the nerve, you should totally use it.

SAVE YOUR MONEY!!! –That’s just a great habit that I never quite picked up :/.

I would tell myself to forgive my father. As I’ve gotten older, forgiveness has gotten easier in some ways and harder in others. Conversations between a man and a woman are a whole lot more complicated than those between a girl and a man. It would have been simpler when I was younger. Just call him or tell your mother you want to see him and talk it out with him. Things happened. Everyone makes mistakes but he still really loves you. Forgive and figure out the next steps. Don’t be afraid. You don’t want to have to still deal with “father issues” when you’re 31. It ain’t worth it. Daddy issues are awful! It has made me make men into an overwhelming obstacle. I don’t trust them with my heart. Reason #875 that I’m single. I know, I know, THERAPY!

I would tell myself to be okay with NOT fitting in with the rest of my environment. Preparing myself for that and accepting this piece about myself would have made growing up a whole lot easier. My brother and I were quite bi-cultural due to the two very different environments we had to navigate as African American children who spent time in the hood and the ‘burbs. That piece of our life has proven helpful but it can also be disorienting and sets you up for some hard times in figuring out your “place” in a given situation. Adaptability is important but assimilation is not. You don’t have to lose yourself in your efforts to not stick out like a sore thumb. Instead, use your gifts and watch how others are drawn to you.

I would tell myself that I’m beautiful. I would scream that at myself repeatedly. Blonde hair and blue eyes aren’t the only way to be beautiful in this world. I would tell myself to eat during grades 6-9. I would not hesitate to take my chocolate skin out into the sun and I would smile like my life depended on it.

ugly ducklings

I would tell myself that all of the things my mother kept me from doing was super great parenting and that I would greatly appreciate them in the future. She was strict –super strict and I think it made all the difference.

I would tell myself to just relax because all of those Caucasian musical artists that you really want to see in concert but can’t because you’re mom thinks it’s weird that you’ll be able to see them in Nashville in your late 20s and early 30s. Seeing Fiona Apple at The Ryman was a dream come true. Hearing Deanna Carter sing “Strawberry Wine” at Bridgestone Arena brought back so many Governors’ School memories. I would’ve like to have know that there would be a 90s cover band that would make my soul happy.

I would high-five myself for the following:
– Not having sex in Middle School and High School.
– Going to senior prom all by myself.
– Getting up the nerve to tell the mean girl that she could no longer cheat off my paper.
– Being a kick-ass cheerleader and salutatorian.
– Reading all the time.
– Learning how to use my voice and my words instead of my fists to defend myself.
– That amazing summer in Lynchburg, VA at Governor’s School which was when I think I discovered my confidence, beauty, and power.

I would give myself the stink eye for the following:
– Sometimes being the mean girl to others.
– Often being the mean girl to myself.
– Not being the best student leader that I could have been in various organizations.
– Putting way too much pressure on myself to succeed.
– Thinking that I was much better than the people around me.

It’s weird but you really are the person you’re going to be quite early in life. My issues haven’t changed and I’m still good at the same things. I still have the same foundation at 31 that I had at 13. For the most part, I think I quoted over 90% in a previous post, I love myself and all of my stuff.

What advice would you give your younger self?

Later Y’all.

Summer is Here!! Part 2: The Work Edition

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I work at a university and fortunately, I get the summer months off from my clients aka my students. I adore them BUT we all need a break from each other and this May-August split is cherished.

My previous post was about my various Nashville/US adventures BUT I still have to work. I have A LOT of work to get done this summer before the youngsters return and invade my world in only the way they can do so.

I have a summer to-do list about as long as the Mississippi River and I have to squeeze it all in around my vacation time and general periods of that feeling I call “I don’t want to do work! Wahhh!” I can’t be the only one that suffers from that condition, correct?

every single day

It is practically June. Yes, June! Deal with it.

Here’s my next steps to success:
1. Refine the list. Currently it is on multiple sheets of paper in three different notebooks and on my computer. I have to make the list practical and manageable. What do I actually need to get done to accomplish my office’s and my goals? What can I reasonably accomplish this summer? What projects can I complete by just taking them off the list? I love that Arianna Huffington has introduced that notion into our world. Check out this video of her discussing “Thrive” with Marie Forleo. Also, just check out Marie Forleo. She’s fantastic and MarieTV is perfect lunchtime professional and personal development.

2. Prioritize my priorities. Just because it is on the list doesn’t mean it has to happen ASAP. There are things that I could push off until July or the beginning of August. A timeline will be super helpful. Deadlines are a MUST! I don’t function well without them. I can then plop all of this information on my calendar. If it’s on my calendar, there is a 97% chance that it will happen. I often print out a template calendar and write it all old school with a pen on a sheet of paper. I’ll then transfer it to my Outlook Calendar.

3. Accountability is so necessary. I will share the list and the calendar with my staff and my supervisor. They can then know what to expect of me this summer and what to hold me accountable for this season. During my 1:1 meetings with my boss, I will use this list as the agenda for our meeting. It is also important that I don’t allow him to keep refilling up my plate with things that are not essential for my or my office’s success. Exploring all options and saying “no” is powerful because if I”m not careful, my list will grow longer and longer.

4. Be okay that everything may not happen this summer and keep plugging away into the fall. If it’s important then it’ll happen. The goal is not to beat myself up but to do the most best essential work I can this summer.

To make everything happen I’m going to have to design and create time and space to focus on the projects at hand.

1. I have to step away from my desk and often my office. I have a table in my office that allows me to think in a more creative and open manner. I don’t know what it is about the table but I am able to sit and stare at my blank whiteboard and then fill it with ideas and outlines for curriculum, workshops, or speeches that I need to write. I also work really well at Starbucks. I think it’s because I feel like College Krystal and that girl was a master at getting sh*t done. No one did it better. I may also hit up the campus library. Arriving to work before everyone else and working on Sundays is also a move of mine when I have a lot to get done. Don’t worry, I’ll make up the weekend time during the week :).

2. Put time on my calendar to just be away. Close my door, leave the office, and just be creative and productive. I can’t let anyone usurp that time. It is mine! Back off! I already block off 3-4pm as Krystal, Inc. so I may just extend that time since I don’t have any student visitors during the summer.

3. I have to be okay with using time to think and not rushing through that process in order to just “do work”. I have a longing for using my creative abilities more at work and because my office was created from scratch, I have a lot of freedom to do just that.

4. Because I’ve packed my summer schedule to the brim, I’m going to have to be way more discriminating about whatever else I add to the list. Pretty sure unless it’s a weekend trip, I can’t leave town anymore than I already am at this time. Some of my weeknights might need to be spent on work. That’s the trade-off and trade-offs can’t be avoided.

What are your tips for getting things done during the summer?

Alright, so now I’m going to get off this blog and get some stuff done. Ready, set, go!

get shit done steps

Lata Y’all

Summer is Here!!!

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Hey Y’all,

I’ve been quite a bum on this fine Memorial Day. My actions have been the total antithesis of the men and women for whom we celebrate on this special day. I’m the proud daughter, sister, and cousin of men who have served our country in the United States Army and the United States Air Force. I respect them greatly for their courage and sacrifice. I don’t have a relationship with my father but I will always be in awe that he served in the Vietnam War and in the Gulf War. My heart grows for him when I take that into account. I know that he’s seen a lot and done a lot to ensure that I’m able to live my life of freedom. For that, I am eternally grateful. We’ll work it out one day. I know God will see to that.

Memorial Day also marks the beginning of SUMMER! She has officially arrived.

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I made a list earlier in May of all the things I want to do this summer. Ahem! Drumroll please:

1. Drag Brunch at Suzy Wong’s House of Yum
2. The Zoo
3. Cheekwood
4. Belle Meade Plantation
5. The Peach Truck
6. Oz
7. Grand Ole Opry
8. Movie at Elmington Park
9. Full Moon Pickin’ Party–might become a fall activity?
10. Concert: Woods at Fontanel
11. 12th & Broad Events
12. Musician’s Corner
13. Movies at the Schermerhorn
14. Belcourt to see Belle
15. Visit to the Farmer’s Market
16. Intense sits on rooftops and patios
17. Johnny Cash Museum
18. POOL! –Already had 2 days in a row :).
19. Apparently, we have an arena football team?!

So far, so good. I’m excited to work my way through these items. I’m sure more will be added to the list as I catch up on the happenings of Nashville. I’ll also be taking trips to VA, GA, TX, and FL. Strong maybe on DE and later in the summer I’ll be off to WA.

As for music, I’ll see Katy Perry in June and Beyonce/Jay-Z in July. There are some others shows I’d like to add to this list including Sara Bareilles and JOHNNYSWIM.

summer4

I do love the summer. It is a time to replenish. My skin looks great and my smile is bigger. People and time are more flexible. You get to see folks you haven’t seen in ages and the margaritas and my never ending collection of dresses are flowing.

I made a lot of mistakes last summer and did things that took a huge detour from my instincts. I’ve been paying for those mistakes ever since. It is now time for me to “let it go” and keep it moving. Pray for me in that endeavor. Forgiveness is hard, but it is what is commanded of me by my God.

summer2

Cheers to the summer!

Later Y’all.

Donate to Girls on the Run Nashville during The Big Payback!

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Help us reach our goal of $3,000.00! Donate here: The Big Payback

We need your help with a really fun task. Girls on the Run Nashville is participating in The Big Payback! The Big Payback is a community-wide, online giving day hosted by The Community Foundation of Middle Tennessee and it starts today! This charitable giving day will help our organization raise much-needed unrestricted dollars and celebrate the good work of all Middle Tennessee nonprofits.

We have 24 hours from today, May 6th, 6am to May 7th, 6am to make a great impact on Girls on the Run and we want to flood social media with messages urging the community to get involved! Our goal is to raise $3000, which could help us:
•Provide proper running shoes to 120 low-income girls!
•Provide training and support on the use of our evidenced-based curriculum to 100 volunteer coaches!
•Offer our program to 15 new girls in two new sites!
•Provide snacks for 8 sites for an entire season!

WATCH the Video to see a familiar face!

Local Levo & House of Stella

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Levo Ladies Take Over House of Stella

Check out the following:
1. Levo League
2. Local Levo in your hood
3. House of Stella in Nashville, TN.

Instagram & Twitter: houseofstella

Addresses: Cool Springs 1709 Galleria Blvd., Suite 1007 (In the Cool Springs Target Shopping Center)
Franklin, TN 37067 ~ map

Nashville 1025 8th Ave. S
Nashville, TN 37203

Lovely mother/daughter duo. Enjoyed hearing their story and learning good tips for starting a business. They are women’s women and want to be helpful to entrepreneurs.

house of stella

Can’t wait to wear my new items or use my free infuser.

Support women owned businesses!

Later Y’all.