Category: Gratitude

Lately…

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Lately, I’ve just felt this incredible sense of upset.

It takes me a good deep breath, a silent prayer, and often a good workout or drive to calm down.

Little things have been getting to me and things that I thought I was over have been creeping back into places I’d like them not to be.

thought post it

As I let it all go this morning in Barre3 and decided to turn the day back on me and not spend the day in my office working away and probably further adding to my ill feelings, I stepped back and thought about all of the awesomeness God has put on my plate. As much as I preach gratitude, I still forget to wrap my heart around all the blessings and instead cozy up to the hurt to keep me warm  cold at night.

Yes, there are many things I’d like to change in my life–the sooner the better BUT until then, I’ve got to play the hand I’ve been dealt and I only play to win ;).

Here are some highlights of the next two weeks…

1. My bubbly buddy Nicole just moved away from Nashville. She’s super awesome and I pray that CA is another place for her to spread her happiness to others. To help her drive away from TN unencumbered by “stuff”, I purchased her TV. Y’all, it’s my first flat screen TV. I’ve never owned one in the many years that I’ve been away from home. My mom gave me money to buy one two years ago but I needed tires so I made an impressively grown up decision to drop the cash on shoes for the ride and not entertainment. Well, now I’ve got my own Samsung. I’m sure the TV Gods are smiling down on me.

2. I get to go to Seattle, WA on Friday. I’ve never been to Seattle! My BFF from grad school is getting hitched! A wedding is always fun and I really want to catch a fish. I actually can’t wait to get on that plane with a book, my USA neck pillow, and not a care.

3. FOOTBALL! The ‘Dores take on Temple on Thursday night. Yes, I’ve fallen in love with college football. Yes, I’m a season ticket holder, and YES, I have planned an adorable outfit for the game. Tailgate season is back! How many new black and gold ensembles can I make happen this season?

4. JohnnySwim is at LOTG next Thursday. Let’s hope it isn’t too hot outside. They do my soul some kind of good. Can’t get enough of those two. Listen!

5. West Side Story at Schermerhorn! Fosse and the Nashville Symphony?! I win.

6. Worship Night at CrossPoint–lots of angelic voices giving praise to God. I can’t be mad at it.

7. A free workshop at The Skillery, Art Camp, Ole Miss v. Vandy at LP Field, The Lone Bellow at LOTG, and the JLN Provisional Retreat round out next week.

I’m also spending some time today reconnecting with the people I’ve come to love in Nashville. Sadly, I haven’t made a lot of time for friends lately. I need some belly laughs. As I’m writing this, one of my fave ladies sent me a text. Such a win!

As usual, I’m quite clueless as to what’s happening with my emotions. This surge of “yuck” came out of nowhere. There are a couple things that I need to actively resolve or let go. I sprung into action today and feel good about my decision to make this a selfish day. My work will get done. It always does.

Pray with me that I’ll be more conscious in choosing how I feel this week.

choose thoughts

Thanks for reading.

Lata Y’all.

 

 

 

 

Summer Snaps

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Happy Monday!

Steeplechase to Bonnaroo to Alpha Xi Delta’s Founders’ Academy to Katy Perry to Beyonce to the DCC Locker Room to University of Tampa, to Delta Delta Delta Executive Office, and an incredible amount of  additional adventures –all big–because adventure is always and should always be BIG. Take no adventure for granted. 

Summer 2014 was real good. I spent a nice amount of time outside of Nashville and it was needed. Above are just a few highlights.  One of my family members believes that no matter where I go, I have a good time. He’s 98% accurate. I have the gift of finding giggles in the mundane and belly laughs in the extraordinary. I’ve become a calmer traveler and a more go with the flow guest. There’s something about taking a minute, closing your eyes, and breathing in new air. Taking in the blessing that has allowed me to get away from it all. Getting there is more than a feat of transportation. When I travel, I’m all there and nothing about Nashville weighs down my heart or mind.

My mom doesn’t fly and we only traveled by car when I was little. I didn’t fly until I was 18 and my brother never flew until he joined the Air Force. My mom marvels at my ability to navigate the air and I know that she exhales the biggest breath in Virginia when I alert her that “I’ve arrived.” I think I go on my adventures for her just as much as  I do for me.

Our students are officially back on campus and today marks the end of quiet and all that planning for the fall. Fall is here and ’tis time to put in the best work we got.

Looking forward to making Fall 2014 just as fun.  Next stop: Seattle, WA for exploring and a BFF wedding. Follow me on Instagram to keep up @clarkkn.

Lata Y’all.

What’s Your Brand? Part 3

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Now the interaction has occurred…what next? Whatever you do post meeting will determine your Post Presence.

1. Did you send a thank you note?
2. Did you follow through on all action items? Were discussed deadlines met?
3. Did you send an email clarifying action items?
4. If the person attempts to contact you post meeting, are you responsive?
5. If you see the person you met with after the meeting, do you have a congenial interaction?
6. If you post on social media about this interaction, was it in a positive way? Is posting on social media appropriate?
7. Do you chat with others about the interaction and if so, what is the quality of your conversation? You don’t want someone to chat with another colleague or a potential employer about your meeting and hear negative feedback. Be mindful of what you share and who you share with in your environment.
8. If needed, did you schedule a follow up meeting?

This piece is all about follow-up and follow through.

I’m all about a thank you note within the week after the encounter. I take notes during the meeting with little check boxes to ensure that I’m clear on all homework I need to do post meeting. If possible, I complete those items within 1-2 days after the meeting to show my engagement and commitment to the project at hand. I certainly strive to meet all deadlines. If I find myself stalled on a project, I communicate that to relevant stakeholders and keep them aware of my progress.

That’s it. Pre Presence, Presence, and Post Presence. Those three elements are great determinants of your brand. What do you need to do to step it up a notch?

Later Y’all

“It is so great to know that you’re not perfect.”

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This is what I’ve been hearing from my friends lately. I know that this response to my recent life updates does not contain one ounce of maleficence. It is just their way of being brutally honest about their relief at the difference between their perception of my life and the reality of it.

Summer & Fall 2013 have been quite different from the normal path of Krystal. I haven’t committed manslaughter or had a quickie wedding in Vegas that was annulled at the behest of my livid mother in 48 hours–but things have just veered a bit off track as defined by me and the people who “know” me. I am essentially having a life that I would have judged and still might judge another woman for having, especially at my age. Eek! I guess that serves me right for being a judger. I do not have that authority!

Let’s be honest…this is ALL my fault. The fact that people believe that I have it all figured out, that my life is super good, I make few mistakes, I’m super cute for every event, I have more confidence than anyone in the world EVER, I get EVERYTHING done all the time, that I’m teflon and don’t let petty feelings get in my way and of course that I’m this overly strong black woman and a beacon of what it means to be completely happy and successful while single and 30 is my fault. I have led them to believe this by my actions and the constant chronicling of my life via social media. My highlight reel looks AMAZEBALLS–the actual film is a Lifetime Movie waiting to happen.

I’m mostly happy and I’m very blessed but I am not perfect and things that might bother other women who are single and 30 totally bother me too. Like, just being single and 30 is beginning to bug me. Tick Tock, Tick Tock goes the biological clock! I do have feelings and I’m actually way more sensitive than you think. I laugh a lot but sometimes it is actually to keep from crying. “I’m a real girl (in my Pinocchio voice)!”

I wear a mask just like most other people. I’ve recently become more comfortable with being vulnerable and sharing my “stuff” with people that I know will love me anyway. Their response, “I’m so happy that you’re not perfect.” “I’m really happy that this is happening to you.” “Girl, relax and have some fun.” “If you’re having a breakdown, then I feel much better about my issues.”

Awesome…

fissures and fractures

Tonight, Jon Acuff (who you should look up immediately) shared with us the message that our scars serve as lighthouses for others who are about to hit the same rocks that we have in our journey. It is important that people know your story and that you give people an insider’s look–Behind the Music or better yet, The Actor’s Studio, because act is what most of us do all day. We ACT as if we’re doing well, we act as if our relationships are perfect, we act like we have completely accepted ourselves, we act like we have the best relationship with Christ, we act like we aren’t in debt, and we act like we aren’t afraid. And the Academy Award goes to…

By opening up to my friends, our relationships have strengthened and there is a reciprocity of support that is built between someone who knows who you are and loves you anyway. There hasn’t been an ounce of judgement, only love along with empathy, sympathy, helpful humor, and hugs.

My name is Krystal and I’m actually a bit of a mess. A well dressed mess but still a mess. At 30, I’m coming to the conclusion that being a mess doesn’t make me less than, it actually makes me more–more human, more honest, more relatable,and more able to address my issues now that I can say them out loud over Margherita Pizza at City House, dessert at Cheesecake Factory, Wine at Bistro 360, and wherever else it all happens to be poured onto the table. It also, in many cases, makes me more grateful because I fully know that I don’t deserve any of the blessings that the Lord has bestowed upon me. I am so thankful for His Grace. He hasn’t given up on me and He never will no matter how much I continue to disappoint him. More of Him and less of Me is what I desire but that is so much easier said than done.

Le sigh! If I would have known that being less than perfect would help not only me, but also those around me, I would have dropped this act a long time ago. The whole adage of “Live your truth” means more and more to me everyday.

Lata Y’all!

The Choice of Happy

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August is about to go bye bye. The summer seemed to make only a brief appearance this year and now we are skipping right into fall things. I love fall things including football, scarves, sweaters, boots, leaves changing color, and new seasons of my fave tv shows, BUT I shall miss the summer and the way I felt during particular moments. This summer was different and there were great highs and spectacular lows. I felt more free than I have in a long time and at the same time incredibly restrained. I was surrounded by lovely people and super lonely all at the same time. Life continues to show me her complexities as I get older. Well, it has happened and there is nothing I can do about the past. Forward on, Miss Clark into September.

Since life’s been a bit interesting and my mood is still not optimal, I’m going to cope as I typically do and fill my life with moments that I hope will bring me life. Oh, don’t worry, I’m also going to see a therapist.

Bright Spots
-SEC Football begins on Thursday!!! Vanderbilt v. Ole Miss at Vandy :)-It’s a blackout game and I’m still in search of the perfect ensemble. I’m happy to wander around to a couple tailgates and cheer on the ‘Dores. Also, seeing Ole Miss play brings back great memories of my adventure to The Grove last fall. My Hotty Toddy cup is still my favorite to use at work.

– The BEACH!! I’m off to North Carolina to celebrate my friend Erin’s 30th Birthday. I get to spend a day at Duke and then I get to stick my fit in the sand and spend some time breathing fresh air and internalizing God’s beautiful creation. I also get to take a break from Nashville. I love this city but we need a break.

– The Junior League of Nashville’s Provisional Year begins! I am loving my role on Council as Provisional Co-Chair and I can’t wait to hold it down on Wednesday nights.

– I get to see Blake Shelton with my lovely friend Jana in September. The boots shall make an appearance and I shall have fun and sing until my voice disappears.

– A mixed bag of events including Live on the Green, a DDD Breakfast Club meet up, Zumba, church, and hopefully a fun benefit concert.

– I also hope to sprinkle in some 1:1 encounters with people that I love in this city. Seriously, I’ve found some of the best people here and I need to work on cherishing the time I have with them a lot better.

That’s all that I have scheduled for now but we’ll see what pops up on the calendar.

I’ve felt like a huge sloth lately. My get up and go attitude has gone. Perhaps, I just need some rest or I just need to deal with some shit that’s weighing me down. Regardless, I’m committed to pulling it back together. I’m working on choosing happy. Your support is appreciated.

Later Y’all.

Krystal

Happy Spirit

On Thursday, We Give Thanks.

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I know that everyone is all about Throwback Thursday or #tbt but I’m more into Thankful Thursday.

This week I am thankful for a few things:

1. My car is back in my possession. I drove myself to work for the first time since Thursday.
2. A short jaunt to Atlanta with a brief stop in Chattanooga. Getting away is always a good idea.
3. The opportunity to serve as a Provisional Co-Chair for the Junior League of Nashville. Great opportunity to serve on Council and I’m really excited about working with all of the new members. Developing their Provisional Year Experience has been fun and fulfilling. My two other co-chairs are the perfect partners in crime.
4. Lots of free food opportunities this week. A free meal is like a magical unicorn. Tonight, I was able to go to Sunset Grill in Hillsboro Village. Voodoo Pasta and Butterscotch Habanero Bread Pudding= Yummy!
5. The over 40 people that liked “Peculiar Pearl” on Facebook. Thanks for taking part in my adventure. If you’re so obliged, please “Like” my page.

gratitude changes everything

Always good to take a moment to reflect on all the good happening in your life. What are you thankful for today?

Later Y’all.

On Thursday, We Give Thanks.

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I owe you two posts today.

Yesterday, was a wreck. Car troubles=Sick to my stomach. I cried a lot! I also called my mom because that is what I do when it just gets to be too much for me.

Therefore, I am thankful for my mother and really just my little family. If I had to do it all over again, I’d totally chose them to be mine. They just really know how to have a gal’s back. Biological family or not, these people have kept me strong for 30 years and I just really love them to pieces. If I’m half as good as a mother as my mom then I’ll be doing just fine. No, I’m not pregnant or even planning on having children, but God’s got his plans.

temporary

I’m also thankful for co-workers who have made sure that I got home from work and back to work this morning even though it was totally our of their way. I mean, there are some good people in this world and I’m luck to have a bunch in my building. It is also great that I didn’t have anyone barking at me for being late to work –I’m thankful for the flexible work culture that I have and that I work with pretty understanding people.

The nice people who were very patient with me about my car. I was a bit melodramatic but they were fine with it and seemed to understand my demeanor.

Friday Night Lights for getting me through yesterday and early this morning when I couldn’t sleep. I’ve got to find my Coach Eric Taylor. I mean, I wouldn’t mind finding my Tim Riggins but he isn’t really the marrying kind. Seriously, it is one of the best TV shows ever!

God is always teaching us something, isn’t he? We must be thankful during the good and the bad times. God is always good :).

Later Y’all

On Thursday, We Give Thanks.

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What am I thankful for this week?

1. Learning how to keep friends or rather how to maintain friendships. I don’t have any friends from high school that still play a role in my life and certainly not any pre high school days. It always amazes me how folks still hang out with people they knew when they were 15. I was so eager to “get out” that once I escaped I never looked back except for my family. I’ve been much better about this with my friends from college, graduate school, and North Carolina. The importance of friendship has become more relevant for me as I’ve gotten “older”. I’m thankful for that change and I hope that it continues. It takes work but it totally worth it. This smacked me in the face again during my trip to NC to visit my friend Dorothy Lou.

2. The nice people at the bank who helped me when there were fraudulent charges on my debit card. They were incredibly understanding and worked swiftly to help me out in this disconcerting situation. I felt supported. The banker also happened to be really cute but of course, he was married. They all are :/.

3. Simple things make me really happy. A good book, sweatpants, and a chair sounds like a fantastic weekend. In fact, I need more of these weekends.

4. My mom saw the benefit of “experiences”. She took us places as children and helped us understand how to behave in public and interact with others. We went to museums, the library, concerts, the circus, plays, and anything else that came to town that she could afford or just chose to believe she could afford. She also was the best field trip parent and always made it a priority to go along with us as we explored different places with our classmates. She later revealed how much she enjoyed watching me on field trips because of how I excited I became by all the details of history and science. I would follow the docent around rapt with attention on every word they said. I also really loved answering questions. Some things never change :). I’m a front row kind of gal.

I think about this whenever I hear my Little Sister say things like, “I’ve never been to an art museum.” or “I’ve never been to a play.” It makes me sad because those things always opened my eyes to the fact that the world was so much bigger than our apartment in Portsmouth, VA. It inspired me to “get out” and live a different life.

gratefulmore

Later Y’all