Category: Life

“30”

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30 happened 13 days ago.

I always thought I would throw a huge bash for my 30th birthday but I kept it pretty low key with a Happy Hour at Cabana with some of my favorite people. I can’t help but feel good that people took time out of their lives to help me celebrate my life.


I then went off on an adventure with Ms. Berry to Austin, TX. Can’t wait to share with you the deets of my trip. Good times :).

30 came and it is still here.

It is one of those ages that society has forced you to think about and try to figure out, “What’s next?” “Am I moving too slow?” “Am I too late?” “Is this thing ever going to happen to poor little ‘ol me?” “Have I done enough?” “Is this all there is?” and really “Why am I not where I thought I’d be by now?” Here’s the thing, the answers to those questions don’t magically appear on your 30th birthday so what’s the use of being stressed out on your special day in the world. The day that God decided to give you to the world does not need to be spent in a drunken and depressed stupor. It needs to be spent celebrating how far He has brought you. That’s what I did and continued to do in TX. That’s what I’m going to aim to do everyday for the rest of my life. Do I worry about certain things? Yes. I just won’t let those thoughts paralyze my joy. Yesterday happened and there is nothing I can do about tomorrow so I have to live the truth of my current moment. That is all that is in my sphere of control.

I’m going to treat 30 just like I did 29. I’m going to attack it and work to accomplish my goals, but as per usual I have to understand that my plan can always be trumped by His and I can’t be mad at that because I’m in a pretty good place in this world. Is life perfect? No. Is it horrible? No. Am I blessed? Beyond words. I’ve had a few extra gray hairs pop up (They each have a fraternity/sorority chapter or member name –shh!). Luckily, the old adage of “Black don’t crack” is gospel truth. Amen!

I’m still under the impression that anything can happen and I’m trying to be open to what’s in store. 30 is a number and a state of mind. To be honest, on a good day, I think I’m still at 27 but working with college students often moves my mindset to 45. Like I told my friend Kayte, “3 decades down and 7 to go”. I’m not even halfway there yet ;). Time is moving fast and I don’t want to fool myself into thinking I have all the time in the world BUT I do think it is incredibly important to celebrate all that has happened and to enjoy the present.

I love my birthday and I can’t imagine not wanting to celebrate it with friends and family. I also won’t be one of those people who celebrates the 2nd anniversary of her 30th birthday. Who knows? That might change one day but I hope not because all in all I’m just happy to be here. Aren’t you?

Later Y’all

The Happiest 5K on Earth! or “The inside of my nose is still blue and I think I’m coughing up rainbow dust.”

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Hey Y’all!

Sorry for the break in life updates. I’ve been in a weird place lately and that place hasn’t led me to post updates. I’m working my way to the summer. The students have 13 more days of classes. I love them but we are at that time of the year during which we have to break up for 3 months. “It’s not you, it’s me.”

The Color Run –Before
Waiting to Start
A break in the action
The Color Run–After

My friend Jana convinced me to participate in The Color Run. She had a team, Color Me Tender, and our friend Lisa and her hubby Michael (The Bergs) joined in for the fun. Now, when the decision was made to register for this 5K, I had all intent to actually train to run the 3.1 or 3.2 miles around Nashville. However, life got in the way and this event snuck right on up on me and before I knew it I had to make a mad dash to the 24-hour Wal-Mart to purchase the white apparel strongly suggested for the race. The speed at which I went to the store greatly outpaced the speed at which me and Lisa walked the run.

I’m sure you all have heard of The Color Run, correct? All the cool kids have those pictures in which they look like a bag of Skittles while smiling with their other cool friends having the absolute bestest time EVER!

Here’s the reality of The Happiest 5K on Earth:
-In my mind there were people throwing the colored dust at you as you made your way along the course. However, there are color stations and when you get to one there are volunteers covered in dust while wearing masks and sometimes goggles who have bottles of dust to squirt at you and barrels of dust to throw at you. My friend Lisa was pummeled in the face at the yellow station. Yellow, orange, pink, and blue are your color stops. Once you get over the first shock you start getting into being sprayed by strangers and in order to produce the ultimate Facebook pic you start making sure that all sides of you are equally covered in color. The runners were able to escape full coverage while us walkers bore the brunt of the assault.
– The race was supposed to begin at 9AM. Well, we didn’t start walking until 9:40AM. Why? It takes time to refill squirt bottles of colored dust.
– If you should ever do this event, please carry a mask because I coughed for about a week or so after the event due to inhaling loads of dust AND to my utter surprise my tissues were covered in blue for days since the dust attacked my nostrils.
– Make sure wherever you do the race that they have good speakers. It would have been more appealing standing in a mass of people dressed in white if I’d been able to dance to the pop music being blared over the speakers.
– Make plans to get a mani and throw in a pedi just for good measure after the race. My nails were blue and green.
– Make sure to take something to cover your car seats post race unless you want to have tie dyed upholstery.
– Wear layers if it is chilly. I sported long white pants, a white top, my Color Run t-shirt, a hoodie, and a hat. All White Everything! I looked like an ice cream man but I was warm.
– Everyone gets a packet of dust to throw at The Festival at the end of the event. I mean, okay. There was a dance party with lots of techno dance music which I heard was fun for like 10 minutes.
– Yes, I took photos and they are on Facebook. Fine, you got me and I’m putting them here too for you to see. Deep down, we all just want to be cool :/.
– Make plans for an epic shower post race.

Was it fun? I mean, it was great to walk through Nashville with a friend. We chatted and saw the city from a different perspective. The run supports a great cause, Amputee Blade Runners, and it only cost $20.00. The people watching was worth that much. We received a nice t-shirt, a headband, and a pack of colored dust for our efforts. The color stations are actually quite beautiful and the blue was my favorite. I think the vast majority of the city participated in the race which is also cool to be a part of such a widespread event. We laughed and giggle while also briefly questioning our choice to participate in this activity. Would I do it again? I would never say “never” BUT I’m not really chomping at the bit for next year’s race. Though, if you’ve never done it I wouldn’t deny you the opportunity. It is coming back to Nashville on October 20th, 2013. Be there! Be a Color Runner! Perhaps we can meet up for drinks after you shower ;0.

Later Y’all

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Krystal Love You

Check out DahliaLynn authored by the incredible blogger, jewelry designer, fashionista,Student Affairs Professional, and just all around human being Jessica Reasons.

I had the privilege of being featured in her “Love You” series. It is a pretty powerful moment to sit down and reflect on what you love about yourself. That power is only intensified by putting it on paper and sharing it with readers. This is quite helpful for this newly minted 30 year old ;).

I enjoyed the experience and I think you should consider writing your own “Love You”. Believe me, it can only help and whenever you’re feeling low just pull it out and remind yourself that you are beautifully and wonderfully made by His hands.

My trip to Austin, TX (details soon) afforded me the opportunity to grab a pic by this ever popular wall.

Thanks for reading!

Later Y’all

I’m just really not sure…

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Ambiguity- Noun
1.Uncertainty or inexactness of meaning in language.
2.A lack of decisiveness or commitment resulting from a failure to make a choice between alternatives.

It is amazing how a nine letter word can cause so much anxiety and create great hesitance in one’s life. The “gray” is constantly taking hold of me these days whenever I’m presented with a new opportunity.

I turned down three awesome opportunities this week because I’m taking on a new job in May and I’m just unsure about what my day-to-day will look like in this role. Part of me is excited about that and the opportunity to sculpt a new work lifestyle for myself but the other part of me just wants to know my schedule so I can plug in the rest of my existence.

unfold

During my first post-graduate job search, I was asked on a phone interview, “How do you deal with ambiguity?” and I thought, “what an odd question” not fully knowing the ins and outs of working in Greek Life. I stumbled through the question and for some reason that moment has never left my mind. I always tell people that are job searching to be able to answer that question because it totally caught me off guard.

If I was asked that question now I might say the following: “While I don’t enjoy ambiguity, I am learning to trust the process and know that all I can do is make the best decisions with what I have at my disposal. All I can do is control my sphere of influence and I must let go of everything else. I go with my gut, trust my education and experience,seek advice as needed, and have confidence in the fact that at the end of the day I did the best I could. There is something exciting about ambiguity as you never know what might happen and that same aspect can also be quite frigtening. If you think about it, life is ambiguous. We figure it out as we go and if we make mistakes we do our best to fix them along the way. If we can’t fix it then we apologize and promise to do better the next time. There are always multiple versions of the truth and I just have to go with the one that seems the most accurate within my current context. Uncertainly is just that, uncertain and we can’t do much to change that. It is what it is.”

So, I don’t know what my life is going to look like past May 15th. I don’t even know where my office is going to be located. All I know is that change is coming and I better buckle up and get ready for the ride. We’ll see what happens and what doesn’t happen. I’m making space so that I can be a flexible passenger in this car. Either way, I’m sure I’ll be fine with Him all around me.

Later Y’all.

Strangely Dim

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please everyone

Everyone is not going to like you. Everyone is not going to agree with you. Similar to the word “fetch”, we’ve got to stop trying to make that happen. Being a people pleaser might work for a while but believe me, it has its stopping point. That point is usually when you realize that making everyone happy is an impossible goal. I’ve worked really hard to be able to look in the mirror and like what I see and I’m not letting anyone’s email, text, phone call, or strongly worded memo take all of that away from me. I know who I am and I think I’m pretty awesome. Obviously, I’m a work in progress but who isn’t?

learn to love

As long as you know that at the end of the day you did your absolute best and that you worked really hard to make decisions that are appropriate, that are for the better, that are in line with the mission of the matter at hand and that are congruent with your personal/professional values then I don’t think you should lose any sleep. Most people’s “stuff” is a reflection of how they feel about themselves and you just happened to get caught in the crossfire. I have my crown and tiara packaged in my high school memories box. As far as I know, I’m not running for Homecoming Queen ever again in my life.

Criticized anyway

Everyone has an opinion and in the great US of A they also have the right to share it. That doesn’t mean that you have to respond to it and it doesn’t mean that you have to let it break your spirit. Both of these notions are super hard for me as I have a bit of a temper and my automatic response is to RESPOND! I can breathe fire when needed! However, I am learning to breathe and fix my thoughts on Him. That doesn’t mean that four/five letter words don’t pop into my mind or come out in communication with others (I’m working on that, I promise) but it has calmed my typing fingers down a bit and it has prompted me to write some carefully crafted bullet points before a confrontation. Some things I just won’t respond to because I know that I’m not there yet to be able to do that in a way that is mature, respectful, and a reflection of the actual nature of my heart. Fighting fire with fire can lead to trouble. Like firemen, I think it is time that I begin fighting fire with water. Seems to work for them, right?

At the end of the day, I have to work to please Him. Man’s favor is not what I desire. Man’s opinion will never bring me fulfillment.

Listen to Francesca Battistelli’s “Strangely Dim“. Great song about focusing on God and having all of your worries and doubts go “strangely dim”.

So, the next time someone blows fire your way think about whether or not it is even worth your time to respond. I’m working really hard to get better at this and I hope you’ll join me. If nothing else, if you haven’t yet already arrived at your destination, then continue on the journey to loving yourself and always keep your eyes on God.

Later Y’all.

And then she said, “Six years…”

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A great friend of mine just got engaged! I’m sincerely happy for her and know that she has wanted to find “Him” since I’ve met her. We went to graduate school together and were next door neighbors for those two surreal fratacular years. We spent lots of weekends in Adam’s Morgan having quite a time. It is a miracle that we didn’t find ourselves in some sticky, or rather stickier, situations as we traveled my Metro and floated around as if we didn’t have a care in the world. I love her and miss her.

As we were chatting, she said, in reference to a job change, “that this would be my first new job since graduating SIX YEARS AGO!” Say what? We graduated from UMD- College Park SIX YEARS AGO! Deep breaths Yes, I was 24 when I graduated and I will be 30 on April 3rd. It is all happening. Time is fast and, to be honest, I still often feel like I’m 24.

I feel like I’m supposed to be a certain way now that I’m approaching 30. At our pre-Hockey Happy Hour another friend asked me if I examined my life and felt proud of all the things I’ve accomplished. The answer, if you’re wondering, is a big fat resounding NO! One of my many problems is that I never feel like I’ve done or am doing enough. This is why I keep adding things to my overly crammed plate of life. If I just do one more thing in the community or at work then perhaps I’ll all of sudden feel fulfilled and like I’ve accomplished all my life goals. WRONG!

One of my favorite quotes is, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” We all look at others, especially those that are in our peer group, and measure ourselves up against them. She’s buying a house, so maybe I should buy a house. She’s married, why aren’t I? She’s got a baby, I must have one of those before it’s too late. She’s back in school for her doctorate, I should apply to school. Eek! Isn’t this a horrible mindgame we allow the Devil to play with us? I was reminded in church the other night that “Your Yes is unique to you.” We are uniquely and wonderfully made. What’s a “Yes” for my friend Erin is a “No” or “Not Yet” for me. Guess what? That’s fine and that’s how God meant for it to be.

comparison is the thief of joy

The “six years” comment totally just brought me to my reality that there is so much that I want to do and I don’t have as much time as I think to get it all done. This thought then brought me to the actual reality that if I profess to trust God then I have to trust His timing. I have to wait for Him. I have to boldly ask him for what I want and then I have to wait. Easier said than done BUT so worth the fight. Read Psalm 25 and it will help remind you to keep your eyes on Him and not your circumstances. During the wait is when the preparation happens for the goal. The wait prepares you for the prize.

The Husband, the house, the kids, and the doctorate will all come when and if they need to. Society has socially constructed where we should be at every age but like all other social constructions this model isn’t the answer for everyone. In fact, it often isn’t the answer for those that have conformed to it. Anyone seen that divorce rate lately?

So, here I am almost a month away from turning 30 and I spent my Saturday volunteering at St. Luke’s at Kids in the Kitchen as a part of the Junior League of Nashville, catching up on Suits, Smash, and Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, reading/writing blogs, watching Duke pummel UNC, grocery shopping and cooking up my first recipe in my new slow cooker, reading resumes for new hires at work, and watching Justin Timberlake on SNL. I laughed a lot today at kids with smoothies,during great convos with ladies from the League and the sweet dietitian from Second Harvest, and at TV. I cried when a child’s family was seriously late to pick her up from the event, I took a nap as I’ve gotten some kind of sinus issue that is draining my energy, and as usual I overthought 15 different things.

That was one day and if the Lord chooses I shall have another 24 hours tomorrow. I must say, I’m looking forward to it :). 30 is going to look as awesome as my perspective allows it to look.

Later Y’all.

Krystal

On Friday, I’m in Love…

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people love to eat

with Nashville restaurants!

I was asked on Friday by my friend Jana which restaurants in Nasvhille are my favorite. This question is super hard! I enjoy visiting new restaurants in the city. Food and Friends are always elements of a great time. Here are some that come to mind:

1. Cantina Laredo @CantinaLaredo1, in the Gulch i.e. LA comes to Nashville
2. Cabana @CabanaNashville— Dinner/Drinks, It’s on the card so beware of student overload.
3. The Southern @TheSouthernSOS— Dinner/Drinks, Sapphire Steak Biscuits and close proximity to Bridgestone
4. Eastland Cafe @EastlandCafe
5. The Pharmacy Burger Parlor and Beer Garden @ThePharmacy1, sit outside in great weather and get a milkshake
6. Patterson House –Dinner/Drinks, it is a speakeasy and the coolest place I’ve ever been
7. Tavern @TavernNashville–Brunch/Dinner, go to see and be seen
8. B&C BBQ –Strip Mall Cuisine
9. Taziki’s @Tazikis— Vandy Fave!
10. Silo @siloTN— The South puts on a suit.
11. Wild Hare @TheWildHare1— Good luck finding it but when you do, you’ll be happy.
12. Valentino’s– Have someone else pay for you. A groupon is great.
13. 1808 Grille @1808Grille— Have someone else pay for you.
14. Copper Kettle @Copper_Kettle–Brunch, Be prepared to wait.
15. Gabby’s Burgers @gabbysburgers–Make sure you can nap afterwards.
16. Garden Brunch Cafe @thegardenbrunch–Brunch, Obvi. All they do is brunch and they do it well. A little gem on Jefferson Street. Yes, there are gems on Jefferson Street.
17. West End Cafe @westendcafenash–Lunch–Strawberry Field’s Salad
18. Rosepepper –Make sure you have a DD for the margaritas.
19. Suzy Wong’s House of Yum @suzywongyum Arnold Mynt from Top Chef owns this place.
20. Monelle’s –Bring a wheel barrel to get out of the place.
21. Loveless Cafe @LovelessCafe–Breakfast– Make Biscuits, not war.
22. Sambuca @sambucanash–Dinner/Drinks/Live Music
23. Whiskey Kitchen @WhiskeyKitchen— sit on the back patio, full service and great weather
24. Bolton’s Hot & Spicy Chicken–Everything about the place says STAY AWAY! The food, however, will have you cozy up on a picnic bench with a mixed cast of characters from far and near who would never set foot in this part of town unless for a good reason. They all just want to indugle in the goodness of the hot chicken and fish. Get some greens, some mac&cheese, sop up some sauce with your piece of white bread and drink your canned soda. AMAZING!

Happy Eating! Check out @yelpnashville.

Later y’all.

On Thursdays, We Give Thanks.

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Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. –Thessalonians 5:16-18

Lord, I thank you for the following:

1. The ability to read and not only to read but to possess a great love of books. I participated in Read Me Week by reading to a group of 3rd graders at Napier Elementary. It was a fun way to spend my morning. I read “Giraffes Can’t Dance” which is really cute and the students got into the storyline. It was especially fun when they started showing off their own dance skills. One book apparently was not enough because they sweetly demanded another and suggested, to my surprise, “Madeline”. I didn’t even know that “Madeline” was still a thing. They knew the entire book but they just wanted to hear it again. I remember my weekend trips to the library to check out a stack of books that were supposed to last a lot longer than they did. I spent all of my measly pocket money on Babysitter’s Club, Sweet Valley High, Fear Street, and L.J. Smith books that have recently been made into CW TV series. I accumulated so many books that my mom forced me to give many of them away. I always had a book with me wherever I went and everyone knew that when I was quiet that I was in a corner with my nose in a book. To this day, that is still my happy place. It hurts my heart to know that there are children and adults in this country who are illiterate. We also have classrooms and school libraries that have inadequate book collections. This is why I want to host a Book “Em Book Collection Event. It is on my list.

2. My teeth. Superficial, right? I know, I know, they are all going to fall out one day but for right now I’m going to show ’em off. An electric toothbrush, Crest 3D White, floss (I mean, every now and then), and mouthwash make up my daily routine. My aunt gave my brother and me a dental care kit for Christmas. Let me just say, I knew I was no longer a kid by the sincere excitement I expressed over my new toothbrush. My mom, brother, and I have Kool-Aid smiles. We smile with all of our teeth. Tis bright like sunshine, you might say. I mean, I like to think that I brighten up people’s day ;).

3. My copy of “Jesus Calling- 365 Daily Devotional”. Just reading that one page in the morning creates a whole new path for my day. Reading His word brings me peace and happiness. My disposition changes and I feel ready for the day after spending moments in reflection and prayer with Jesus. This book is my guide. It sits on the side of the bed that I don’t use so that it is easy for me to grab and open when I awake in the morning. I keep my Bible and journal in the same place for when I need to reflect by writing or when I want to jot down my prayers. Try it! Your day will change.

jesus calling

4. When I get packages at my door, no one steals them from me. Ain’t that a blessing? I’ve had a box chilling at the front of my door for days and there it was when I came home waiting for me to take it into its new home. You might laugh but that’s a real concern for people. I guess it means that I can trust my neighbors to not intentionally harm me or the things that belong to me. I feel safe. I don’t know my neighbors well but we recognize each other and speak to each other in the parking lot or on the steps. It is interesting to think about how people build a community or at least community norms with each other without ever really expressing that desire or much of anything else to each other. I guess the general rule is “Be a good person.”

My latest package? A red crock pot from my mother to match the rest of my red kitchen accessories. This weekend, I will cook up a nice meal for me, myself, and I.

Well, that’s what I have for now. Glad to be starting this weekly series again. Always feels good to think about all that you have to be thankful for in this world.

Later Y’all.

Oh, when the Saints go MARCHing in…

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March is here yet again…February is a mere 28 days of love and Black History.

What’s on my plate for March? Well, so happy you asked.

1. Reviving “On Thursday, We Give Thanks” and “On Friday, I’m in Love”. Sorry to leave you hangin with those series. Life happened and blogging was put on the backburner.
2. Office of the Dean of Students Movie Day (Argo) and Junior League Book Club in the same day. I can’t take the excitement!
3. JohnnySwim at Music City Roots at Loveless Cafe. Love this duo so very much!
4. Kairos’ Girls’ Night Out
5. JLN Kids in the Kitchen
6. Cultivating Excellence: Women & Gender Leadership Symposium. I’m a panelist with some really hotshot ladies.
7. 2 Girls on the Run Nasvhille Friend/Fun Raising Events
8. Flashdance at TPAC
9. Cross Point moves to its new location. Chapter 2 begins!!!

Whoa! Great times are ahead in March. It is going to be busy BUT I gotta step back and take in the whole picture. This month is a plate of incredible and I’m ready to dive in :).

Later y’all.

We Don’t Want No Stinkin’ Badges!

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So, I never wanted to be a Girl Scout. I didn’t have the least bit of desire to sell cookies and be one with nature. All of that sounded like it was for the birds. Those badges never appealed to me.

I danced. I cheered. Elbow, elbow, wrist, wrist, elbow. I debuted as a debutante. I was the Queen of the Freshmen and of Homecoming. Despite all of this ultra girl stuff, I was quite skeptical of the whole “sorority” thing. I didn’t run to it in college. Instead, I questioned it and watched it with a suspicious eye. Due to many of the things I witnessed, I decided not to make that so-called “lifetime commitment”.

Just my luck, I took a Graduate Assistantship in a fraternity house and immersed myself with one swift “Yes” in the land of fraternity & sorority life. Say what? Yeah, I took a job living with 34 frat boys while also advising Greek Week and Greek Homecoming. Don’t ask. I still don’t have a clue what I was thinking but…it turned out for the best.

I actually liked it and thus I decided to keep working with the Greeks for my first post graduate job at a little private school in North Carolina that I’m sure you’ve never heard of at all. I was an outsider on the inside and the students didn’t seem to mind at all.

Life was good.

On a not so awesome Wednesday at work I received the phone call that would change my Greek fate FOREVER! Some lovely people had gotten together and decided to nominate me as an Honor Initiate of Delta Delta Delta (yes, that sorority).

Say what? Yep, it happened.

Well, I decided to take them up on the offer and step on over to the crescent side of the moon. Why? Well, after some life reflection I realized that DDD has played a role in my life since I was 18. It was the first sorority I was drawn to in the W&M Sorority Handbook, it was the sorority that provided me with inspiration for my seminar paper during graduate school, it is the sorority that is connected with St. Jude that was created by Danny Thomas whose legacy and vision brings me to tears, it is the sorority who paid for my professional development at IFI. It is the sorority that focuses on issues of body image which is a topic that is dear to my heart. To be honest, it was also the sorority that hosted my favorite room at an SAE Progressive in college. Shh!! Don’t tell the Greek Advisor ;). The Tri Delta women I’d met after college were also some of my favorites and were always women of high caliber.

College Krystal had never really been clued in on the real nature of sorority. I didn’t know that the whole point was to empower me to be a better woman. It took me till I was 26 to realize that sorority was for me all along but I’d just needed more time to come around than others. Participating in ritual at 26 was probably the best thing I could have done because I actually listened to the words and was in sheer awe of what Sarah Ida Shaw and her girls had put together in 1888.

Delta Delta Delta Badge

Today is International Badge Day. With great pride I wear the badge of Delta Delta Delta Fraternity. I am a member of the Alpha Pi chapter at the University of Maryland, College Park. Happy Badge Day to all of my Tri Delta and Panhellenic sisters. DLAM!!!