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Krystal Love You

Check out DahliaLynn authored by the incredible blogger, jewelry designer, fashionista,Student Affairs Professional, and just all around human being Jessica Reasons.

I had the privilege of being featured in her “Love You” series. It is a pretty powerful moment to sit down and reflect on what you love about yourself. That power is only intensified by putting it on paper and sharing it with readers. This is quite helpful for this newly minted 30 year old ;).

I enjoyed the experience and I think you should consider writing your own “Love You”. Believe me, it can only help and whenever you’re feeling low just pull it out and remind yourself that you are beautifully and wonderfully made by His hands.

My trip to Austin, TX (details soon) afforded me the opportunity to grab a pic by this ever popular wall.

Thanks for reading!

Later Y’all

I’m just really not sure…

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Ambiguity- Noun
1.Uncertainty or inexactness of meaning in language.
2.A lack of decisiveness or commitment resulting from a failure to make a choice between alternatives.

It is amazing how a nine letter word can cause so much anxiety and create great hesitance in one’s life. The “gray” is constantly taking hold of me these days whenever I’m presented with a new opportunity.

I turned down three awesome opportunities this week because I’m taking on a new job in May and I’m just unsure about what my day-to-day will look like in this role. Part of me is excited about that and the opportunity to sculpt a new work lifestyle for myself but the other part of me just wants to know my schedule so I can plug in the rest of my existence.

unfold

During my first post-graduate job search, I was asked on a phone interview, “How do you deal with ambiguity?” and I thought, “what an odd question” not fully knowing the ins and outs of working in Greek Life. I stumbled through the question and for some reason that moment has never left my mind. I always tell people that are job searching to be able to answer that question because it totally caught me off guard.

If I was asked that question now I might say the following: “While I don’t enjoy ambiguity, I am learning to trust the process and know that all I can do is make the best decisions with what I have at my disposal. All I can do is control my sphere of influence and I must let go of everything else. I go with my gut, trust my education and experience,seek advice as needed, and have confidence in the fact that at the end of the day I did the best I could. There is something exciting about ambiguity as you never know what might happen and that same aspect can also be quite frigtening. If you think about it, life is ambiguous. We figure it out as we go and if we make mistakes we do our best to fix them along the way. If we can’t fix it then we apologize and promise to do better the next time. There are always multiple versions of the truth and I just have to go with the one that seems the most accurate within my current context. Uncertainly is just that, uncertain and we can’t do much to change that. It is what it is.”

So, I don’t know what my life is going to look like past May 15th. I don’t even know where my office is going to be located. All I know is that change is coming and I better buckle up and get ready for the ride. We’ll see what happens and what doesn’t happen. I’m making space so that I can be a flexible passenger in this car. Either way, I’m sure I’ll be fine with Him all around me.

Later Y’all.

Strangely Dim

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please everyone

Everyone is not going to like you. Everyone is not going to agree with you. Similar to the word “fetch”, we’ve got to stop trying to make that happen. Being a people pleaser might work for a while but believe me, it has its stopping point. That point is usually when you realize that making everyone happy is an impossible goal. I’ve worked really hard to be able to look in the mirror and like what I see and I’m not letting anyone’s email, text, phone call, or strongly worded memo take all of that away from me. I know who I am and I think I’m pretty awesome. Obviously, I’m a work in progress but who isn’t?

learn to love

As long as you know that at the end of the day you did your absolute best and that you worked really hard to make decisions that are appropriate, that are for the better, that are in line with the mission of the matter at hand and that are congruent with your personal/professional values then I don’t think you should lose any sleep. Most people’s “stuff” is a reflection of how they feel about themselves and you just happened to get caught in the crossfire. I have my crown and tiara packaged in my high school memories box. As far as I know, I’m not running for Homecoming Queen ever again in my life.

Criticized anyway

Everyone has an opinion and in the great US of A they also have the right to share it. That doesn’t mean that you have to respond to it and it doesn’t mean that you have to let it break your spirit. Both of these notions are super hard for me as I have a bit of a temper and my automatic response is to RESPOND! I can breathe fire when needed! However, I am learning to breathe and fix my thoughts on Him. That doesn’t mean that four/five letter words don’t pop into my mind or come out in communication with others (I’m working on that, I promise) but it has calmed my typing fingers down a bit and it has prompted me to write some carefully crafted bullet points before a confrontation. Some things I just won’t respond to because I know that I’m not there yet to be able to do that in a way that is mature, respectful, and a reflection of the actual nature of my heart. Fighting fire with fire can lead to trouble. Like firemen, I think it is time that I begin fighting fire with water. Seems to work for them, right?

At the end of the day, I have to work to please Him. Man’s favor is not what I desire. Man’s opinion will never bring me fulfillment.

Listen to Francesca Battistelli’s “Strangely Dim“. Great song about focusing on God and having all of your worries and doubts go “strangely dim”.

So, the next time someone blows fire your way think about whether or not it is even worth your time to respond. I’m working really hard to get better at this and I hope you’ll join me. If nothing else, if you haven’t yet already arrived at your destination, then continue on the journey to loving yourself and always keep your eyes on God.

Later Y’all.

And then she said, “Six years…”

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A great friend of mine just got engaged! I’m sincerely happy for her and know that she has wanted to find “Him” since I’ve met her. We went to graduate school together and were next door neighbors for those two surreal fratacular years. We spent lots of weekends in Adam’s Morgan having quite a time. It is a miracle that we didn’t find ourselves in some sticky, or rather stickier, situations as we traveled my Metro and floated around as if we didn’t have a care in the world. I love her and miss her.

As we were chatting, she said, in reference to a job change, “that this would be my first new job since graduating SIX YEARS AGO!” Say what? We graduated from UMD- College Park SIX YEARS AGO! Deep breaths Yes, I was 24 when I graduated and I will be 30 on April 3rd. It is all happening. Time is fast and, to be honest, I still often feel like I’m 24.

I feel like I’m supposed to be a certain way now that I’m approaching 30. At our pre-Hockey Happy Hour another friend asked me if I examined my life and felt proud of all the things I’ve accomplished. The answer, if you’re wondering, is a big fat resounding NO! One of my many problems is that I never feel like I’ve done or am doing enough. This is why I keep adding things to my overly crammed plate of life. If I just do one more thing in the community or at work then perhaps I’ll all of sudden feel fulfilled and like I’ve accomplished all my life goals. WRONG!

One of my favorite quotes is, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” We all look at others, especially those that are in our peer group, and measure ourselves up against them. She’s buying a house, so maybe I should buy a house. She’s married, why aren’t I? She’s got a baby, I must have one of those before it’s too late. She’s back in school for her doctorate, I should apply to school. Eek! Isn’t this a horrible mindgame we allow the Devil to play with us? I was reminded in church the other night that “Your Yes is unique to you.” We are uniquely and wonderfully made. What’s a “Yes” for my friend Erin is a “No” or “Not Yet” for me. Guess what? That’s fine and that’s how God meant for it to be.

comparison is the thief of joy

The “six years” comment totally just brought me to my reality that there is so much that I want to do and I don’t have as much time as I think to get it all done. This thought then brought me to the actual reality that if I profess to trust God then I have to trust His timing. I have to wait for Him. I have to boldly ask him for what I want and then I have to wait. Easier said than done BUT so worth the fight. Read Psalm 25 and it will help remind you to keep your eyes on Him and not your circumstances. During the wait is when the preparation happens for the goal. The wait prepares you for the prize.

The Husband, the house, the kids, and the doctorate will all come when and if they need to. Society has socially constructed where we should be at every age but like all other social constructions this model isn’t the answer for everyone. In fact, it often isn’t the answer for those that have conformed to it. Anyone seen that divorce rate lately?

So, here I am almost a month away from turning 30 and I spent my Saturday volunteering at St. Luke’s at Kids in the Kitchen as a part of the Junior League of Nashville, catching up on Suits, Smash, and Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, reading/writing blogs, watching Duke pummel UNC, grocery shopping and cooking up my first recipe in my new slow cooker, reading resumes for new hires at work, and watching Justin Timberlake on SNL. I laughed a lot today at kids with smoothies,during great convos with ladies from the League and the sweet dietitian from Second Harvest, and at TV. I cried when a child’s family was seriously late to pick her up from the event, I took a nap as I’ve gotten some kind of sinus issue that is draining my energy, and as usual I overthought 15 different things.

That was one day and if the Lord chooses I shall have another 24 hours tomorrow. I must say, I’m looking forward to it :). 30 is going to look as awesome as my perspective allows it to look.

Later Y’all.

Krystal

On Friday, I’m in Love…

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people love to eat

with Nashville restaurants!

I was asked on Friday by my friend Jana which restaurants in Nasvhille are my favorite. This question is super hard! I enjoy visiting new restaurants in the city. Food and Friends are always elements of a great time. Here are some that come to mind:

1. Cantina Laredo @CantinaLaredo1, in the Gulch i.e. LA comes to Nashville
2. Cabana @CabanaNashville— Dinner/Drinks, It’s on the card so beware of student overload.
3. The Southern @TheSouthernSOS— Dinner/Drinks, Sapphire Steak Biscuits and close proximity to Bridgestone
4. Eastland Cafe @EastlandCafe
5. The Pharmacy Burger Parlor and Beer Garden @ThePharmacy1, sit outside in great weather and get a milkshake
6. Patterson House –Dinner/Drinks, it is a speakeasy and the coolest place I’ve ever been
7. Tavern @TavernNashville–Brunch/Dinner, go to see and be seen
8. B&C BBQ –Strip Mall Cuisine
9. Taziki’s @Tazikis— Vandy Fave!
10. Silo @siloTN— The South puts on a suit.
11. Wild Hare @TheWildHare1— Good luck finding it but when you do, you’ll be happy.
12. Valentino’s– Have someone else pay for you. A groupon is great.
13. 1808 Grille @1808Grille— Have someone else pay for you.
14. Copper Kettle @Copper_Kettle–Brunch, Be prepared to wait.
15. Gabby’s Burgers @gabbysburgers–Make sure you can nap afterwards.
16. Garden Brunch Cafe @thegardenbrunch–Brunch, Obvi. All they do is brunch and they do it well. A little gem on Jefferson Street. Yes, there are gems on Jefferson Street.
17. West End Cafe @westendcafenash–Lunch–Strawberry Field’s Salad
18. Rosepepper –Make sure you have a DD for the margaritas.
19. Suzy Wong’s House of Yum @suzywongyum Arnold Mynt from Top Chef owns this place.
20. Monelle’s –Bring a wheel barrel to get out of the place.
21. Loveless Cafe @LovelessCafe–Breakfast– Make Biscuits, not war.
22. Sambuca @sambucanash–Dinner/Drinks/Live Music
23. Whiskey Kitchen @WhiskeyKitchen— sit on the back patio, full service and great weather
24. Bolton’s Hot & Spicy Chicken–Everything about the place says STAY AWAY! The food, however, will have you cozy up on a picnic bench with a mixed cast of characters from far and near who would never set foot in this part of town unless for a good reason. They all just want to indugle in the goodness of the hot chicken and fish. Get some greens, some mac&cheese, sop up some sauce with your piece of white bread and drink your canned soda. AMAZING!

Happy Eating! Check out @yelpnashville.

Later y’all.

On Thursdays, We Give Thanks.

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Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. –Thessalonians 5:16-18

Lord, I thank you for the following:

1. The ability to read and not only to read but to possess a great love of books. I participated in Read Me Week by reading to a group of 3rd graders at Napier Elementary. It was a fun way to spend my morning. I read “Giraffes Can’t Dance” which is really cute and the students got into the storyline. It was especially fun when they started showing off their own dance skills. One book apparently was not enough because they sweetly demanded another and suggested, to my surprise, “Madeline”. I didn’t even know that “Madeline” was still a thing. They knew the entire book but they just wanted to hear it again. I remember my weekend trips to the library to check out a stack of books that were supposed to last a lot longer than they did. I spent all of my measly pocket money on Babysitter’s Club, Sweet Valley High, Fear Street, and L.J. Smith books that have recently been made into CW TV series. I accumulated so many books that my mom forced me to give many of them away. I always had a book with me wherever I went and everyone knew that when I was quiet that I was in a corner with my nose in a book. To this day, that is still my happy place. It hurts my heart to know that there are children and adults in this country who are illiterate. We also have classrooms and school libraries that have inadequate book collections. This is why I want to host a Book “Em Book Collection Event. It is on my list.

2. My teeth. Superficial, right? I know, I know, they are all going to fall out one day but for right now I’m going to show ’em off. An electric toothbrush, Crest 3D White, floss (I mean, every now and then), and mouthwash make up my daily routine. My aunt gave my brother and me a dental care kit for Christmas. Let me just say, I knew I was no longer a kid by the sincere excitement I expressed over my new toothbrush. My mom, brother, and I have Kool-Aid smiles. We smile with all of our teeth. Tis bright like sunshine, you might say. I mean, I like to think that I brighten up people’s day ;).

3. My copy of “Jesus Calling- 365 Daily Devotional”. Just reading that one page in the morning creates a whole new path for my day. Reading His word brings me peace and happiness. My disposition changes and I feel ready for the day after spending moments in reflection and prayer with Jesus. This book is my guide. It sits on the side of the bed that I don’t use so that it is easy for me to grab and open when I awake in the morning. I keep my Bible and journal in the same place for when I need to reflect by writing or when I want to jot down my prayers. Try it! Your day will change.

jesus calling

4. When I get packages at my door, no one steals them from me. Ain’t that a blessing? I’ve had a box chilling at the front of my door for days and there it was when I came home waiting for me to take it into its new home. You might laugh but that’s a real concern for people. I guess it means that I can trust my neighbors to not intentionally harm me or the things that belong to me. I feel safe. I don’t know my neighbors well but we recognize each other and speak to each other in the parking lot or on the steps. It is interesting to think about how people build a community or at least community norms with each other without ever really expressing that desire or much of anything else to each other. I guess the general rule is “Be a good person.”

My latest package? A red crock pot from my mother to match the rest of my red kitchen accessories. This weekend, I will cook up a nice meal for me, myself, and I.

Well, that’s what I have for now. Glad to be starting this weekly series again. Always feels good to think about all that you have to be thankful for in this world.

Later Y’all.

Music To My Ears

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My current faves

1. “Mirrors” by Justin Timberlake –I’m certified obsessed with him. Looking forward to his return to SNL!
2. “When I Was Your Man” by Bruno Mars –I want to dance with him and his band.
3. “Special Delivery” by Bridget Kelly
4. “Fumble” by Trey Songz–He actually gives a great live show.
5. “I Like It” by Sevyn Streeter
6. Trouble by Taylor Swift –she isn’t really a fan of the Spotify 😦
7. Stay by Rihanna ft. Mikky Ekko–apparently she isn’t either 😦
8. “Love Interruption” by Jack White–To be honest, I’m not a Jack White follower BUT his performance of this song on the Grammys with Ruby Amanfu pulled me in a bit.
9. “Merry Go ‘Round” by Kacey Musgraves –Sad and beautiful song
10. “Sweet Nothing” by Calvin Harris & Florence Welch from Florence & The Machine –Elliptical worthy
11. “Best of You”, “Dream On”, and “Wonderwall” as performed by Anastacia — She is a total throwback but do you remember the MTV show, “The Cut”? Anastacia was the winner but kinda disappeared to Europe after “I’m Outta Love”. I stumbled upon an album she did of covers of songs originally performed by male singers called “It’s a Man’s World”. I’ve always loved her voice and I’ve always loved these three songs so for me, it is a match made in heaven. Now, did these songs need to be remade? Nope, The Foo Fighters, Aerosmith, and Oasis did a fine job BUT I’m still okay with new twists.

Gotta love Spotify. Easy and economical access to music. Check out the 3/5/13 playlist.

Later Y’all.

Krystal

Oh, when the Saints go MARCHing in…

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March is here yet again…February is a mere 28 days of love and Black History.

What’s on my plate for March? Well, so happy you asked.

1. Reviving “On Thursday, We Give Thanks” and “On Friday, I’m in Love”. Sorry to leave you hangin with those series. Life happened and blogging was put on the backburner.
2. Office of the Dean of Students Movie Day (Argo) and Junior League Book Club in the same day. I can’t take the excitement!
3. JohnnySwim at Music City Roots at Loveless Cafe. Love this duo so very much!
4. Kairos’ Girls’ Night Out
5. JLN Kids in the Kitchen
6. Cultivating Excellence: Women & Gender Leadership Symposium. I’m a panelist with some really hotshot ladies.
7. 2 Girls on the Run Nasvhille Friend/Fun Raising Events
8. Flashdance at TPAC
9. Cross Point moves to its new location. Chapter 2 begins!!!

Whoa! Great times are ahead in March. It is going to be busy BUT I gotta step back and take in the whole picture. This month is a plate of incredible and I’m ready to dive in :).

Later y’all.

We Don’t Want No Stinkin’ Badges!

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So, I never wanted to be a Girl Scout. I didn’t have the least bit of desire to sell cookies and be one with nature. All of that sounded like it was for the birds. Those badges never appealed to me.

I danced. I cheered. Elbow, elbow, wrist, wrist, elbow. I debuted as a debutante. I was the Queen of the Freshmen and of Homecoming. Despite all of this ultra girl stuff, I was quite skeptical of the whole “sorority” thing. I didn’t run to it in college. Instead, I questioned it and watched it with a suspicious eye. Due to many of the things I witnessed, I decided not to make that so-called “lifetime commitment”.

Just my luck, I took a Graduate Assistantship in a fraternity house and immersed myself with one swift “Yes” in the land of fraternity & sorority life. Say what? Yeah, I took a job living with 34 frat boys while also advising Greek Week and Greek Homecoming. Don’t ask. I still don’t have a clue what I was thinking but…it turned out for the best.

I actually liked it and thus I decided to keep working with the Greeks for my first post graduate job at a little private school in North Carolina that I’m sure you’ve never heard of at all. I was an outsider on the inside and the students didn’t seem to mind at all.

Life was good.

On a not so awesome Wednesday at work I received the phone call that would change my Greek fate FOREVER! Some lovely people had gotten together and decided to nominate me as an Honor Initiate of Delta Delta Delta (yes, that sorority).

Say what? Yep, it happened.

Well, I decided to take them up on the offer and step on over to the crescent side of the moon. Why? Well, after some life reflection I realized that DDD has played a role in my life since I was 18. It was the first sorority I was drawn to in the W&M Sorority Handbook, it was the sorority that provided me with inspiration for my seminar paper during graduate school, it is the sorority that is connected with St. Jude that was created by Danny Thomas whose legacy and vision brings me to tears, it is the sorority who paid for my professional development at IFI. It is the sorority that focuses on issues of body image which is a topic that is dear to my heart. To be honest, it was also the sorority that hosted my favorite room at an SAE Progressive in college. Shh!! Don’t tell the Greek Advisor ;). The Tri Delta women I’d met after college were also some of my favorites and were always women of high caliber.

College Krystal had never really been clued in on the real nature of sorority. I didn’t know that the whole point was to empower me to be a better woman. It took me till I was 26 to realize that sorority was for me all along but I’d just needed more time to come around than others. Participating in ritual at 26 was probably the best thing I could have done because I actually listened to the words and was in sheer awe of what Sarah Ida Shaw and her girls had put together in 1888.

Delta Delta Delta Badge

Today is International Badge Day. With great pride I wear the badge of Delta Delta Delta Fraternity. I am a member of the Alpha Pi chapter at the University of Maryland, College Park. Happy Badge Day to all of my Tri Delta and Panhellenic sisters. DLAM!!!

101 for 1,001

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What are you doing for the next two years? Mackenzie Horan has it all figured out. Check out her list here. She is the author of the adorable blog Design Darling.

She came up with 101 things for 1,001 days. That’s about 2.75 years to get 101 goals, dreams, and tasks completed. Sounds good, right?

Of course, I love a good list so I started trying to come up with 101 things that I want to do in the next 2.75 years…

This is a lot harder than I thought. Here’s what I have thus far:

1. Join a professional association for Leadership Educators.
2. Invest in a new camera.
3. Take someone I want to learn from out to coffee/dinner/lunch at least once a month.
4. Run/Walk a 5K.
5. Do more guest blogs.
6. Send email to leadership friends for insight into their world.
7. Get personal business cards.
8. Take on a Board/Council position within the Junior League of Nasvhille.
9. Be nominated for and apply again for Nashville Emerging Leader Awards.
10. Participate in a Nashville based leadership development program.
11. Go to Bluebird Cafe.
12. Be an extra on ABC’s Nashville.
13. Contribute to a new charitable cause on a bimonthly basis for 1 year.
14. Eat at 1 new restaurant per month.
15. Make it to the gym 3X per week for at least 3 months.
16. Join Toastmasters.
17. Drink at least 2 bottles of water per day for at least a month.
18. Pick an exercise class and stick to it for at least 3 months.
19. Send 2 random cards to friends at least twice a month.
20. Do Karaoke in Nashville.
21. Go to Gatlinburg, TN and Memphis, TN.
22. Take a trip every 8 months to a new destination in the US.
23. Make plans to go abroad and go!
24. Pay off debt.
25. Clean my house at least 1x per week. I live alone. I’m messy.
26. Get my car detailed.
27. Grocery shop every month. I eat out A LOT!
28. Join CABLE.
29. Go on a date.
30. Cook 1 meal per week.
31. Recommit to a small group.
32. Take a trip to W&M.
33. Read at least 1 new book per month.
34. Send my mom more cards. She keeps them all.
35. Find my signature scent.
36. Buy a great pair of tailored black pants.
37. Take time alone with God in the mornings at least 3X per week.
38. Read the entire Harry Potter series.
39. Get a massage.
40. Find a primary physician.
41. Go on a hike.
42. Clean up my computers (work/home).
43. Decorate my home like a grown up. Curtains? Coffee Table? New TV?
44. Throw a dinner party/supper club in my home.
45. Send out Christmas Greetings.
46. Seriously, plan my return to school for my Ed.D.
47. Plan and have a classy 30th birthday party.
48. Professionalize my closet.
49. Invest in big girl heels.
50. Return to learning the Spanish language.
51. Go home at 5 as often as I possibly can.
52. Leave at least 1 night per week during the weekday that I don’t have any evening plans.
53. Be a lead facilitator or Keynote Speaker at more events.
54. Be accepted as a LeaderShape Cluster Facilitator.
55. Host a book collection event for Book ‘Em.
56. Make more 1:1 connections with students at Vandy.
57. See a therapist.
58. See at least 1 live musical performance a month.

eek! Still 43 more things to go…I’m working on it. Of course, many things that I want to do are at odds with each other but it is all about prioritization and doing things on a budget. Planning is such a joke, right? Life happens in ways that tends to kill most of our plans but at least I can use this to orient me and help me make a first step. We’ll just have to see what He has in store from there. What God has for me is for me and it might not be anything on this incomplete list :).

Later y’all.