A great friend of mine just got engaged! I’m sincerely happy for her and know that she has wanted to find “Him” since I’ve met her. We went to graduate school together and were next door neighbors for those two surreal fratacular years. We spent lots of weekends in Adam’s Morgan having quite a time. It is a miracle that we didn’t find ourselves in some sticky, or rather stickier, situations as we traveled my Metro and floated around as if we didn’t have a care in the world. I love her and miss her.

As we were chatting, she said, in reference to a job change, “that this would be my first new job since graduating SIX YEARS AGO!” Say what? We graduated from UMD- College Park SIX YEARS AGO! Deep breaths Yes, I was 24 when I graduated and I will be 30 on April 3rd. It is all happening. Time is fast and, to be honest, I still often feel like I’m 24.

I feel like I’m supposed to be a certain way now that I’m approaching 30. At our pre-Hockey Happy Hour another friend asked me if I examined my life and felt proud of all the things I’ve accomplished. The answer, if you’re wondering, is a big fat resounding NO! One of my many problems is that I never feel like I’ve done or am doing enough. This is why I keep adding things to my overly crammed plate of life. If I just do one more thing in the community or at work then perhaps I’ll all of sudden feel fulfilled and like I’ve accomplished all my life goals. WRONG!

One of my favorite quotes is, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” We all look at others, especially those that are in our peer group, and measure ourselves up against them. She’s buying a house, so maybe I should buy a house. She’s married, why aren’t I? She’s got a baby, I must have one of those before it’s too late. She’s back in school for her doctorate, I should apply to school. Eek! Isn’t this a horrible mindgame we allow the Devil to play with us? I was reminded in church the other night that “Your Yes is unique to you.” We are uniquely and wonderfully made. What’s a “Yes” for my friend Erin is a “No” or “Not Yet” for me. Guess what? That’s fine and that’s how God meant for it to be.

The “six years” comment totally just brought me to my reality that there is so much that I want to do and I don’t have as much time as I think to get it all done. This thought then brought me to the actual reality that if I profess to trust God then I have to trust His timing. I have to wait for Him. I have to boldly ask him for what I want and then I have to wait. Easier said than done BUT so worth the fight. Read Psalm 25 and it will help remind you to keep your eyes on Him and not your circumstances. During the wait is when the preparation happens for the goal. The wait prepares you for the prize.

The Husband, the house, the kids, and the doctorate will all come when and if they need to. Society has socially constructed where we should be at every age but like all other social constructions this model isn’t the answer for everyone. In fact, it often isn’t the answer for those that have conformed to it. Anyone seen that divorce rate lately?

So, here I am almost a month away from turning 30 and I spent my Saturday volunteering at St. Luke’s at Kids in the Kitchen as a part of the Junior League of Nashville, catching up on Suits, Smash, and Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, reading/writing blogs, watching Duke pummel UNC, grocery shopping and cooking up my first recipe in my new slow cooker, reading resumes for new hires at work, and watching Justin Timberlake on SNL. I laughed a lot today at kids with smoothies,during great convos with ladies from the League and the sweet dietitian from Second Harvest, and at TV. I cried when a child’s family was seriously late to pick her up from the event, I took a nap as I’ve gotten some kind of sinus issue that is draining my energy, and as usual I overthought 15 different things.

That was one day and if the Lord chooses I shall have another 24 hours tomorrow. I must say, I’m looking forward to it :). 30 is going to look as awesome as my perspective allows it to look.

Later Y’all.

Krystal

“There is nothing that will hinder you from being used by God.” –Mike Glenn

Ain’t that a blessing? No matter my mistakes, He can use me. He can tell His story and show His glory through me.

How long should we beat ourselves up for our past mistakes? How long should we hold on to our glory days?

God moves. He will not stay where we put him. We need to move too.

Whatever happened in 2012,2011,2010,2009, and so on and so forth has happened. There is nothing that you can do about it. You can’t change it and you can’t relive it.

“You can’t hold on to yesterday’s pain or yesterday’s trophies and receive tomorrow’s promise.” LET IT GO!

On our journey with God we must pack lightly. Drop all of that baggage! Whether it is Louis Vuitton or a Target special, you ain’t going to need it on your walk with God.

The promise is bigger than you think. We receive the promise, not because we are good people but because God is a good God.

Deuteronomy 1:6-8, “You have stayed at this mountain long enough.” It is time to get over the mountain and stop letting it be an obstacle in your journey.  Go over it, go around it, go through it–just have faith (the size of a mustard seed) and He will move it. Matthew 17:20.

Later y’all.

Today is Friday. I know, I know.

To be honest, I just want to shut my office door, curl into a ball, and cry.

The tragedy in CT has broken my heart. Violence against children is just the worst of the worst. So innocent and so undeserving.

I ask you all to pray the hardest you’ve ever prayed. We have to find some peace within ourselves and in this world. I am sorry for the families who have to suffer loss. I am sorry that the holiday season will never be the same. I am sorry that the parents couldn’t be there to be the protective parents they are to save their children from this unnecessay end. I pray for all that are involved in this tragedy.

I don’t have strongly developed political views about gun control (I’ve never even shot a gun) but I do know that it is harder to kill people when you don’t have access to guns. A gun alone is not a problem; a gun in the wrong hands is a problem. We’ve got to do better to keep guns out of the wrong hands. We’ve got to do better in finding a level of peace that does not lead to guns having to be used to injure and kill others. I don’t have answers for that but people way smarter than me have figured out some pretty large problems in this world and I think they need to get in a room and hash this out immediately.

School used to be a safe haven. Parents could send their kids to school and their child would receive an education, meals, encouragement and intentional from a teacher, and hopefully friendship. All of this leading towards an holistic developmental experience. Now, parents are probably scared out of their minds to send their children anywhere. Not only is school a volatile place but so is church, the movie theater, the mall, and almost anywhere else you can think of. There aren’t anymore “safe places” or “safe parts of town”.

So, what do we do?

We pray. We call on God to lay his hands on the people of Newtown, CT. We pray that He surrounds them with all of the love and support they need from this day forward. We pray that this does not harden their hearts or make them question their faith. We pray that the Lord leads them away from anger and retribution but towards peace, resolution, and forgiveness. We pray that they understand that their earth angels are now heavenly angels and will be waiting for them when that day comes. We pray. We go home, call, Skype, or FaceTime, and we tell our family and friends that we love them and if possible give them the biggest hug EVER. We engage ourselves in conversations with others about how to make this world a better place and we engage in self reflection to make sure that we are being the best version of ourselves.

What am I thankful for?

– My Faith.

-My family.

– My true friends.

-The life God has given me. The grace he has bestowed upon me though I fail him everyday.

I just keep reflecting on the Bible verse above, Isaiah 66:9. Pain is not without purpose. I know it is hard not to question God in moments like these but I believe in His word.

Later y’all.